Archive
Trial by Zentech: A Story of Blood, Piss and Prostate
Posted 3:02pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Fox Meyer
This is a true story. It has been edited for clarity, but all of the content you’re about to read came straight from the mouth of an anonymous student using the pseudonym “Dusty”. The drug I tested in 2018 was a prostate anti-inflammatory. Possible side effects included Read more...
Which Antidepressant Are You?
Posted 2:54pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Sophia Carter Peters
1. What is your preferred method of escapism? a. Online shopping (1) b. Poetry Read more...
Local Produce: Judah Kelly
Posted 1:35pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Fox Meyer
Dunedin-raised Judah Kelley believes that building your own power and voice is important, and that music is a way to share that message with anyone who wants to listen. “It’s a better message to send than just another sad song,” she said. She continues to be a local crowd-pleaser, Read more...
Fantastic Drugs and Where to Find Them
Posted 1:27pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Elliot Weir
The Dark Web The Deep Web, whilst sounding like a 2005 sci-fi hacker fantasy realm, actually just refers to anything on the internet that won’t directly show up when you search on a search engine like Google. This includes anything from your email homepage, to your Netflix homepage, Read more...
How to Grow Weed in Your Flat
Posted 12:55pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Harold the Giraffe
Kia ora kids! Harold the Giraffe here. Aunty Jacindy might have banned the ol’ wacky baccy despite disproportionately racist levels of cannabis-related incarceration in Aotearoa, but don’t despair. DIY is in our DNA! Anyone can grow the devil’s lettuce in their flat with a bit of Read more...
Kava: From Root to Ritual
Posted 12:38pm Sunday 21st March 2021 by Susana Jones
Kava, yaqona, ‘ava, ‘awa, malok, grog. My earliest memory of this sacred substance was when I was about 10 years old, sitting cross-legged on the floor covered in woven mats in my childhood home. Family surrounded me while my uncle squeezed the brown out of the powdered root and into the Read more...
Best Places to Skate in Dunedin
Posted 2:42pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Jay Bailey
In the glory of an empty, level-four-lockdown Dunedin, I finally faced my fears and learned how to ride a skateboard. Learning to skate at nineteen years of age may not impress some, but after years of desire, envy, fear, and trepidation, I was thrilled to cruise around the old Coupland’s car Read more...
Fuck, I Can’t Cook!
Posted 2:23pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Alice Taylor
This recipe for Pad Thai hits my craving for noodles when I simply don’t have the means to spend on my dearest, Thai Hanoi. I shamelessly use Wattie’s Pad Thai sauce because I am poor and lazy and the sauce is delicious. Serves 3 250g rice noodles 2 eggs 1 onion 4 spring Read more...
Why the Pisces Moon Might Be Fucking With You
Posted 1:49pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Sophia Carter Peters
These past few weeks we have been experiencing a Pisces moon. For those unfamiliar with astrology, Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20) is a sign commonly associated with empathy, impressionability, white wine, creativity, and emotional fragility. Basically, they’re weak ass bitches. We knew Read more...
Which Uni Building Are You?
Posted 1:29pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Elliot Weir
1. How old are you? a. A literal baby (1) b. A teenager (2) c. Early 20s Read more...
Jutland Studio/Spaceland: A New Dunedin Creative Renaissance
Posted 1:13pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Sophia Carter Peters
The scene: Waterfront warehouse district, surrounded by big trucks, empty buildings, and corrugated iron everywhere. Enter a new resurgence of the local gig scene. A quiet, yellow corner building with high ceiling and some bizarre architecture is the setting for a rejuvenation of the Dunedin music Read more...
Local Produce: Zena Burgess, owner of Zen Blu Jewellery
Posted 12:24pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
Zen Blu necklaces look like what would happen if you told a mermaid to pull apart some 70s jewellery and make it into something magical. The brightly coloured plastic beads sit alongside pearls, seashells and (presumably) enchanted symbols. On the Instagram page, the necklaces are edited onto a Read more...
Top 10 Ways to Trick Your Flatmates into Doing Shared Flat Meals
Posted 1:34am Sunday 14th March 2021 by Callan George
Just do it. Start cooking. Make a giant fuck off meal and serve it to the whole clan. Odds are, they’ll accept a free feed. Repeat this until your flatties feel as if they have to return the ‘favour’ and then boom, you’ve guilt tripped them a system of mutual Read more...
OPINION: Priority Should Be Given to Māori Students When it Comes to Teaching Te Reo
Posted 1:23am Sunday 14th March 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
The use of te reo Māori has been revived over the past five years. Both non-Māori and Māori are now open to learning the language. However, with this spike in popularity comes the need for the appropriate resources and infrastructure to ensure that anybody who wishes to learn te reo Read more...
Are Mullets Sexy? The Castle Street Perspective
Posted 1:18am Sunday 14th March 2021 by Asia Martusia King
Mullets have a long history. The world’s first mullet was depicted on a metal deity figurine unearthed in an English car park, dating back to 1st-century AD (After Drip). Roman warriors with mullets were engineered for battle, their hair styled out of their eyes and difficult to grab. Murder Read more...
Job Searching, Now With a Side of Mental Health Support
Posted 12:27am Sunday 7th March 2021 by Susana Jones
If you’ve ever been a student searching for a job, you’ve definitely heard of Student Job Search (SJS). If you’re funded by a Daddy and have never been on that job search grind, SJS is a charity, underwritten by MSD and the student unions, that hooks students up with job Read more...
Where Did the Word “Breather” Come From?
Posted 11:33pm Saturday 6th March 2021 by Oscar Paul
For years, Otago students were dubbed ‘scarfies’. The word was popularised by the eponymous 1999 film and came loaded with half-a-century of resentment from older generations. As ubiquitous as the ‘scarfie’ moniker once was, it has increasingly been replaced by a newer, more Read more...
What’s Wrong With Freshers?
Posted 10:56pm Saturday 6th March 2021 by Fox Meyer
We intercepted first-years on their way out of the Toga Party to ask a simple question: What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Three new friends all admitted that “coming from a solid group of friends back home, and starting anew” was really tough, but patted Read more...
Local Produce: Sometime Winner
Posted 10:35pm Saturday 6th March 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
As the saying goes, you win some, you lose some. This mantra rings especially true for one of Dunedin’s newest up and coming acts, Sometime Winner. The five-piece line up consists of lead singer Louis (who dubs himself Kid Freeman on the Mic), guitarist Silas, violinist Rose, bassist Read more...
From the Parthenon to the Octagon
Posted 10:21pm Saturday 6th March 2021 by Elliot Weir
The first question Critic asked Sam, as we sat down for an interview in the sun, was how The Bacchae is pronounced. The answer, apparently, is ‘back-eye.’ The play is an ancient Athenian tragedy written by Euripedes, reimagined for a modern audience by a local team led by Read more...
What Coping Mechanism Are You?
Posted 11:23pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Sophia Carter Peters
How long have you been in Dunedin? a. Less than 2 years Read more...
OG Lime vs. Lime Gen4 vs. Neuron
Posted 11:06pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Alex Leckie-Zaharic
Gone are the simple days when Lime scooters ruled the streets. Scootering in Dunedin is no longer a one-horse race, with Neuron entering the fray in early January and forcing the humble Lime to upgrade, Incredibles-style, to compete. Critic’s self-proclaimed scooter expert took it upon himself Read more...
OPINION: Third Years Need to Stop Fucking Freshers
Posted 10:53pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Sophia Carter Peters
CW: Sexual assault. The fact that you already know what I’m talking about tells me all I need to know. We all have that one skeevy friend who jokes about buying a fresher too many drinks at Catacombs or picking one up on Castle. Their comments are usually followed by a couple of sheepish Read more...
How to Pretend You Know Cricket
Posted 10:37pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Elliot Weir
From deliveries to dismissals, dibbly-dobblers to golden ducks, cricket is an elaborate and perplexing way to waste your time. There are a lot of made-up words involved, like ‘inning’ and ‘wicket’ and ‘dilscoop.’ Aside from white men over the age of 50 and people Read more...
Who would win if the Rakaia Salmon and the Gore Giant Trout fought to the death?
Posted 9:56pm Tuesday 2nd March 2021 by Erin Gourley
In the centre of Gore stands a giant trout. On the outskirts of Rakaia stands a giant salmon. The fish are perched in the same pose — frozen in mid-air with cavernous maws agape. Separated by 452km of State Highway one, these twin titans of the South Island road trip are too far away to see Read more...
Moscato, Rosé, Moscato Rosé: Do They Taste the Same?
Posted 4:16pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Dessert wine, you gotta love her. Perfect for a cheeky necking before a night out, or something sweet you can sip while watching the hit movie ‘Bridesmaids’. Compared to other wines, dessert wine is particularly palatable and easy to drink. But rumour has it, they kind of taste the same Read more...
Dave From Maharajas
Posted 4:03pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Fox Meyer
Some people say their hero is their mum. Some say Steve Irwin. Personally, I’d go with Dave from Maharajas. The dashing young manager is just as much a superhero as any of the rest. He upholds the law, serves the community, and doesn’t ask for anything in return. I’ve always been a Read more...
Local Produce: L Hotel
Posted 3:59pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Fox Meyer
Up-and-coming band L Hotel, who formed a powerhouse threesome from previous band the Shitz, have recently been hitting Dunedin stages and blessing our ears with funky covers we all know and love. Critic caught up with bassist and ex-Radio 1 host Dave Borrie after a job interview. He did not get the Read more...
Hoarders: The Stories Behind Student Election Steals
Posted 3:58pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
It’s the most wonderful, most polarizing time of 2020. Election season. Every three years, election hoardings from different political parties pop up around Dunedin, displaying the politicians vying for your vote (which you should definitely cast). But North Dunedin is probably not the best Read more...
How to Hypothetically Chuck a Hāngi Pit in Your Flat Yard
Posted 3:56pm Sunday 4th October 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Hāngi is iconic; the food that connects us to our ancestors, the best treat for all. Most importantly, forget your expensive, overhyped ham - Hāngi is the best Christmas dish, prove me wrong. Hāngi, as we all know, takes a huge amount of work. You have to dig a hole, find the Read more...
‘Better Than a Funeral’: Balancing Being a Good Flatmate and Looking After Yourself
Posted 9:47pm Thursday 24th September 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters
CW: Mental illness and suicide Moving into a hall or your first flat is insanely cool, especially moving in with friends who you know will make your year an absolute liability, but an amazing experience. Binge drinking on a Tuesday night with morning classes the next day and maccas runs at 3 am Read more...
Theia: Bringing Old School Wisdom into the Modern World
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 13th September 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters
Christchurch-born artist Theia (or Em-Haley Walker when she’s not on stage) has shaken up Kiwi pop as we know it with her own unapologetic spin to the genre. Nestled in her certified bangers is a softer, more personal touch, soon to have a space of its very own. Between stacking up songwriting Read more...
Participating in Mahuru Māori but my reo isn’t good
Posted 3:59pm Sunday 13th September 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Mahuru Māori is the annual challenge set to everyone in the effort to normalise and integrate Māori language into everyday lives. The challenge, set by Paraone Gloyne of Te Wānanga o Aotearoa in 2014, has grown immensely. In the first year, only three people participated, but in 2019 Read more...
IT'S NOT THAT DEEP - stick n pokes, a guide
Posted 10:30pm Thursday 10th September 2020 by Kate Yule
Stick and pokes are nothing new. Egyptians were doing it thousands of years ago, however recently it seems a bunch of bored students are too. Whether it's Caitlin who wants to spice up her personality by getting a lightning bolt tattooed on her finger, or your local breather with his nickname Read more...
Local Produce: Hannah Martin
Posted 10:28pm Thursday 10th September 2020 by Sinead Gill
Hannah Martin isn’t a Dunedin local, but Critic is officially claiming her as one of Dunedin and Studentville’s best emerging artists. She submitted her piece, “The Creation of Dunners”, to the OUSA Art Exhibition, and describes that piece like she does her other work: Read more...
Local Produce | Adelaide Cara
Posted 9:48pm Thursday 3rd September 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters
Radio One’s soundwave angel Adelaide Cara is bringing a darker sound to the Dunedin music scene. As a local producer and the vocalist of Milpool, they are a force to be reckoned with. They plan on leaving a supernatural mark on music – their instrumentals can only be described as Read more...
Bargain Box: Is It Worth It?
Posted 9:47pm Thursday 3rd September 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Trying to plan and decide what to eat for dinner takes up too much time in the day. Time that could be better-spent binge-watching Netflix shows with your flatmates and avoiding pending assignments. If you’re anything like me, eating like a rat is what gets us through the day. It’s not Read more...
Zodiac Records: South D’s Best Kept Secret
Posted 9:09pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Tyler West
Walking down King Edwards Street in South Dunedin you pass bustling cafes, second-hand stores, and various offices. Standing out is a storefront full to bursting with books and music. “BOOK EXCHANGE” reads one side in bright yellow, “Zodiac RECORDS” reads the other. I spent Read more...
Things to Do and See In and Around Dunedin (if it’s 1980).
Posted 9:08pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Asia Martusia King
One day in a secondhand bookshop, I unearthed an ancient tome from the year 1980. Blowing a thick layer of dust from the cover, I could make out the words Discovering Dunedin: 503 things to see and do in and around Dunedin. Written by Joyce Herd and accompanied with photos by the delightfully named Read more...
An Exclusive Interview with @sinksofdunedin
Posted 8:57pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Naomii Seah
@sinksofdunedin, a novelty Instagram account for documenting and rating various sinks around Dunedin, has experienced a meteoric rise to fame since they created their account in late June. Currently, they have over 1000 followers, and 70 posts. On their account, they post glossy, well composed Read more...
The Dunedin Ice Stadium: The Hottest Coldest Place in Town
Posted 8:52pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Fox Meyer
When I was deciding where to go to uni, I googled ‘best ice rink in NZ’. Apparently it’s in Dunedin, so now I’m in Dunedin too. Our rink offers ice disco nights, quiet midday sessions, live hockey, skating lessons and curling, all with a beach on the doorstep Somebody once Read more...
Local Produce: Jonte
Posted 8:51pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Andy Randell
Back in high school and my first few years of varsity, I really wanted to be in one of those bands that would play gigs every other Saturday and pull in hundreds of people every time. So, I started one. We would practise every weekend, but it never amounted to anything, even though we played for Read more...
Mark Neilson: Acting Out Campus Security
Posted 8:39pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Jack Gilmore
Actor and campus watchman Mark Neilson was told by Otago Uni “don’t come back” when he was a student here in the 90s. Yet, as time moved on, Mark has returned a couple of times. Firstly, through OUSA’s Social Activities department in the early 2000s, and again in 2018 as a Read more...
A Brief History of the Toitū Otago Settlers Museum
Posted 8:12pm Thursday 27th August 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
The Otago Settlers Museum is New Zealand’s oldest history museum, and it’s hard to miss. The Museum spans across a huge portion of land from the Train Station to the Chinese Gardens, and the Museum itself was established to reflect colonial settlement. Starting off as the Otago Early Read more...
Wooosh! Wind Tunnels: Where, Why, What?
Posted 8:09pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Zoe Humprey
It’s a Monday morning, you’re walking to class and for once you’ve woken up early enough to actually make an effort. Your hair is styled, your clothes are at least a step above sweatpants and that mild sense of organisation has lulled you into a feeling of confidence— when Read more...
Cody’s, Diesel, and Mavs: Do They Taste the Same?
Posted 8:04pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington
Word on the street is that, when it comes down to it, three bourbon and colas don’t taste any different. Cody’s, Diesel and Billy Mavericks, popular choices from rugby boys and bogans alike, are rumoured to have no distinguishing taste differences that set them apart from one Read more...
A Legacy Bids Farewell: the Churro Connoisseurs Leaving to Sail Around the World
Posted 7:58pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Caroline Moratti
Eight years ago, Dunedin was different, and by different I mean objectively worse. Today it’s a (vaguely) bustling town of fusion cuisines, pokey cafes and various delicacies, but back then, the only food trucks were TexOtago and the Bacon Buttie Station. Even then the concept of travelling Read more...
Juno Is
Posted 7:54pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters
Dunedin-born, Mackenzie Hollebon (Mac), the mind behind Juno Is, has been in the gig scene for a while now. She initially emerged as the drummer for ‘Lacuna’ before pursuing a solo career - after some growing pains, she is thriving. “It was a really good transition into having full Read more...
Deconstructing Bisexuality
Posted 7:54pm Thursday 13th August 2020 by Naomii Seah
What do Shego, Velma and Kiera Knightly in Pirates of the Caribbean have in common? They’re all female characters I had a crush on in childhood. I’ve always known I was attracted to women. Conversely, I’d always been attracted to men. For most of my life I’d been happy Read more...
Tasting the Rainbow: An investigation into which coloured alcohol fucks you up the most
Posted 9:53pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan
Picking out a weekend beverage can be stressful, but there is generally one common consideration: alcohol content versus cost. But there is a danger in living life that way - not all alcohol is created equal, and people swear that different types will affect them in different ways. Where one drink Read more...
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