Dear Aunt Zo and Uncle Jim, what are the top ten pieces of advice, in the whole world?

Ranked, in order: Always make sure a glass of wine is available Drive a large vehicle and then you can see more Fun and failure start the same way Advice is much harder to make up if you don’t have it pre-prepared The best way to keep your clothes white is by using warm wash, that way you get the power of hot and cold For all you fresher lads, if you don’t know if you love someone, then you probably don’t,...

Love is Blind

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Ombrellos and Cello. That's it for the year! If you want to give the Critic Blind Date a shot, we'll be accepting applications again from February 2019.     JFK I apologise to you lewd Critic readers who are looking for Princess and Daddy 2.0, this won’t be quite as titillating. The night started just as any...

Lunchtime Quickie

Buckle in, because this is a gamechanger. I’m about to teach you how to make food that looks like store-bought mini-savouries but way, way cheaper for your broke ass.  This recipe can be changed depending on what you have on hand, the only ingredients you absolutely need are eggs and bread, all others are dependent on taste and $$. Start with heating up your oven to 200 OC and buttering a muffin tin. Scarfie Chef Tip:...

New Zealand Lager Is the Most Influential Beer in This Nationís History

New Zealand Lager is a triumph. Brewing in this country has a long and rocky history, with a lot of bad beers and a lot of good beers. But none has been greater than this delectable drop. Fun Fact: the country ‘New Zealand’ actually derives its name from New Zealand Lager, because it is the country where it is made.  What can be said about the one and only Lager of New Zealand that hasn’t already been said? In the...

All The Time We Scooped the ODT This Year

Critic: 26 February – Re:Fuel Rebrands as Ubar ODT: 28 March - Business as usual for University Bar    Critic: 5 March – University Cracks Down on Initiations ODT: 7 March – Students Excluded Over Urine and Booze-soaked Initiation   Critic: 5 March – Embers of Couch Fire Culture Pissed Out by Uni ODT: 8 March – Uni Fire Incidents Falling   Critic: 21 April – CCTV...

The Week the ODT Tried to Make Old People Feel Better About Dying

Welcome to the last ODT Watch of the year. To start this week, apparently a local fish and chip shop has been amassing weapons of...