Just the Tip

Want to deal with a dick flatmate, problems with your studies, or want tips on how to woo your latest Tinder match? Your anonymous concerns will be addressed by a panel of Critic's life coaches. The Virgin Sappho, 2nd Year I. Need. A gf. I’ve tried several dating apps, I’ve tried striking up conversations with any girl who gives off queer vibes, but the ladies aren’t vibing with me. O wise one, how do I woo myself a...

Horoscope

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Your chakras align this week as you realise it’s time for a personality adjustment. And to buy a meal that isn’t Maggi noodles. Your childhood TV show to watch this week: Caillou the annoying bald fucker   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Water season is gone but now you’ll flourish. Wash your socks and change your undies… Treat yourself. Your childhood TV show to watch this...

Moaningful Confessions

Last summer, I did what any bored and horny gal does and tried to get validation from random Tinder guys. I swiped on a dude who seemed pretty cute, but a bit of a shit cunt - just my type. We talked for a bit and then decided to go out for a cheeky afternoon drink. After a few too many beers and him raxing quite a lot of my darts, the chat was good enough that we decided to continue the conversation back at my place. We indulged in the most...

Vape Review

Believe it or not, I am somewhat of a patriot. At least when it comes to biscuits. I have tried multiple Anzac flavoured vape juices, and I can honestly say that none have come as close to what Vapourium offers. I think this one has done our fallen soldiers proud, boys. Before you go out and stock up, though, just know that when I say it tastes like ANZAC biscuits, I mean it, and that isn’t always a good thing. For the first day or two...

Bone Apple Teeth: Focaccia

Not to be corny, but making bread is an activity that has brought me unrivalled joy throughout my life. A handful of ingredients and a few hours will yield a delicious loaf to share and fill and entire house with the cosiest, most comforting smell.  This focaccia recipe is really, actually, truly easy and is the perfect way to wind down after a day of worrying about the fall of modern civilisation as we know it. At least we’ll probably...

Booze Reviews

Cold and Flu Supplements to Mix with Your Leftover St Paddy’s Day Whisky and a little bit of Redbull I thought that cocktail - ‘Quarrantini’ – that was making its way around social media was fucking revolutionary. I decided to test out other cold and flu supplements that could work as cocktails. They all tasted bad. The least bad one was the blackcurrant Fisherman’s Friend mix, which was only about a 5/10....