Critic Blind Date

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email blinddate@critic.co.nz     Mr. Darcy I had no idea what to expect. But, to build up some courage my flatty and I downed a few beers to send me off, and a good long pull from a bottle of sweet berry wine.  I could see a lone girl in a...

Critic Booze Reviews

Pimm’s is the perfect drink for the perfect day. On one of those rare Dunner stunners, when the Leith only vaguely smells like piss and the grass resembles Prince William’s head pre-balding, a glass of Pimm’s is the wholesome content you deserve. The drink is weirdly associated with British culture, which is odd for a group of people that never seem to go outside. Less racist than gin, but more classy than an RTD,...

UoO Moaningful Confessions

Going from kinky sex all the time to suddenly single was quite a shock. I realised that I no longer enjoyed boring missionary one-night stands. This lead to me hooking up with a past ex who was having the same problem as me. It was a fun few sessions, but I knew I didn’t want to continue seeing him (he was an ex for a reason). He did tell me about FetLife, which apparently was the “Facebook for kinksters”. Signing up was...

Horoscopes

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To be a breather is not simply to breathe. To be a breather, one must step into the shoes of those that came before them, step back out of those shoes, pour a Billy Mav into said shoes, and sip upon the sweet nectar from sole to soul. Are you ready for your holy transformation? This week’s spirit animal: Atlantic Footballfish   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 This week you may need to be the hero...

Top 10 Ways to Pay Off Your Student Loan

Fake your own death and reinvent yourself in Greece. Learn advanced hacking, infiltrate the IRD as network tech staff and delete your account altogether. Begin your tuition in 2018 onwards so...

ODT Watch

This week, the Otago Daily Times came to the ground-breaking discovery that and ODT Watch is sure there’s no old men at the ODT.   In other news: But still not confident enough to make the first move. Get it together, Simon....