EDITORIAL

Howdy folks and welcome to the Critic Tabloid issue! Oh boy, oh boy, do we have some salacious stories for you in this one! We’ve finally lost all sense of direction and become an actual rag! We’ve filled this bad boy right to the brim with some piping hot scoops that were legally obtained through legal phone tapping and long distance photography.  Some may say it’s immoral to make a tabloid and that we should remain...

Horoscope

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Were you silent, or were you silenced? Tabloid scandal to revisit: Going to rehab    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 You need an ego check. Tabloid scandal to revisit: The Crown killed Diana    Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Tis the season to be an attention whore.  Tabloid scandal to revisit: Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton   Taurus Apr 20 - May 20 Time to...

Rate or Hate

Rate Olivia Rodrigo’s entire new album being about her shitbag ex. Favourite Crime hits very diff. Name and shame baby x J Lo getting back with her ex after almost my entire lifetime. Usually I would never encourage that but it’s actually quite a beautiful love story.  The Weeknd calling out the Grammys for being racist. Good on him for taking a stand, I hope other artists (incl. white ones) follow his lead and stop...

Booze Reviews

Feeling drained, literally, by my Fizzliss experience last week, I decided to fortify my strength by returning to my origins: Beer. I went into Henry’s and picked up something called “Vailima.” The name alone intrigued me. Just in time for Samoan language week, I learned that Vailima is Samoan for “water in the hands”.  The bottle, like myself when I am intoxicated, tells a story. Apparently Vailima...

Fuck, I Can’t Cook!

Time to Potluck I take potlucks so seriously that I do fear that I suck the fun and joy out of the process for everyone else. Tiramisu is the ultimate potluck meal. It is sweet, when most people bring savoury. You can make it in advance. You keep it in the fridge and don’t need to bake or reheat. And it is utterly delicious.  The idea of using Baileys is inspired by my Queen, Nigella Lawson, and my own personal consumption of...

Touching! “Evil” Landlord Donates Generously To Charity, Proves Naysayers Wrong

Who says landlords are pure evil? While some of our more extremist writers like to push this sensationalist, one-sided argument, in the pursuit of fairness and balance, the Tribune can EXCLUSIVELY reveal a landlord branded as “evil” and “fraudulent” actually has a real heart of gold. Prominent Dunedin real estate entrepreneur Michael Moneybags was spotted by roving Tribune reporters as he humbly carried out his act of...