EDITORIAL: Sign Up Club Should Absolutely Not Take Over OUSAís Meeting

I repeat, Sign Up Club should NOT take over the OUSA Student General Meeting that is taking place on Wednesday 21 April at 12pm in Union Hall. It would be VERY BAD if Sign Up Club sent say a hundred members of their pyramid scheme, and their members voted as a bloc making up over 50% of the students at the meeting and gained the ability to pass whatever motions they wanted. The Sign Up Club should most certainly NOT become aware of their...

Horoscope

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Feeling manic? Call your therapist. To bake this week: your mind  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 You need to stop dwelling on yet another failed talking stage. You can do better than tinder breathas.  To bake this week: chocolate covered strawberries  Aries Mar 21 - Apr 19 Stop making shit jokes at the expense of others. You’re not funny, you’re just fucking...

Judith Collins Eyes Vice-Chancellorship

After a slew of dismal polling numbers and backstabbing within the National Party, Leader of the Opposition Judith “Crusher” Collins is in talks with Otago Uni executives for the vacant role of Vice-Chancellor. Whispers of yet another leadership change in the National Party have dominated the political news cycle in recent weeks and this report confirms those suspicions. A source in the National Party said that the VC position is a...

Millions of Questions, But Nobody AskedOtago How It Was Feeling

AskOtago is reportedly on the brink of a nervous breakdown after, despite having answered millions of student questions since it opened on the ground floor of Central in 2018, nobody asked it how it was really doing.  The helpdesk service has been struggling to cope emotionally for years, according to those close to it: dealing with relentless bullying from academic staff and students, recurring depression and loneliness from the Covid-19...

Booze Reviews: Cocktail Research and Development

Having already acquired my alcohol for Hyde and not ready to buy anything else for the week, I decided to scrounge the little alcohol I had and try out a few wacky combinations. Mostly they were better than the original ingredients. Triple Brown The Triple Brown consists of a Double Brown with a splash (or several) of whisky. I used an almost empty bottle of Bell’s Scotch whisky which I found at the back of the fridge. The...

Fuck, I Canít Cook!

Crispy satay tofu  I am very passionate about this week’s recipe. It’s difficult to mess it up an delicious. I have been known to pour this sauce into a bowl, microwave it, and eat it with a spoon. I have served the sauce here with crispy fried tofu, but you could pour it over chicken, veges, noodles, rice, with roti, you name it.  Satay Sauce:   1 onion 1 1/2 tbsp red curry paste  1 can coconut...