EDITORIAL: Pour one out for Catherine Mills, “habitual drunkard” and original owner of Starters

We’re all mourning the death of Starters. No more afternoon pints in the courtyard, no more underrated cheeseburgers in the dingy light, no more ordering too many beer towers, no more being grossed out by the bathrooms that never quite stopped smelling of vomit. But the bar wasn’t only a student icon, it was a Dunedin icon too. The bar has been serving alcohol for-fucking-ever. The name has changed many times — the Oriental...

Corona Extra

The first time I ever had a beer, it was a Corona. My dad handed it to me, looked me dead in the eyes and said: “This is a Corona boy. Don’t take your Coronas to a party, son, leave them at home for pre’s.” All my life I heeded his words. Every time I bought Coronas, I stashed them under my bed and never let anyone else see them. Over time, the seriousness of his lesson grew faint in my mind and I began to question it. Why...

Fuck, I Can’t Cook!

No-Yeast Pesto Scrolls I created this recipe when I had the dark realisation that I was averaging about five scrolls per week, which really does make a dent on the bank account. These are so easy to make and the recipe doesn’t involve any yeast. You can also change up the flavour to what you want – caramelised onions would be fantastic, and so would some feta or even tomato chutney. There is nothing better than bread and...

Moaningful Confessions

When the Critic asked us to spill our most scandalous sexcapades I didn’t know where to start. I still don’t. So many stories. Do I start with the three-way in a sauna which ended with more than sweat dripping down my body? Or the twelve-man orgy in which I could only make out the shadows of the people I was fucking? But let’s start earlier, the night in which I meet the man of my dreams. In the gay world there are cruise...

Rate or Hate

Rate Level 2, house parties are where it’s at!! But pls theme your house parties for a more fun and interesting time. Masks, it’s so much easier to make eyes at people now because it’s the only part of their face you can see. Making yourself the main character. I am in fact in a Netflix Original movie and it’s somewhere between He’s All That and The Kissing Booth in quality. Having a gardener. Our flat...

Horoscope

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Your mental stability might scare you at the moment. But it’s okay, you can’t be unhinged forever. It’s all part of the character development. Beverage of the week: cheap bottle of sav   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Romanticise every silly little moment of your silly little life because you’re a silly little sentimental water sign. Beverage of the week: vodka soda with a hint...