This article does not start with a sip, but with a journey. Of course, by journey I mean driving from my boozeless flat in the North East Valley to Rattray Street to pick up a rarer drop than most conjured up by those mad bastards under the Triple Star: Speight’s Hazy Pale Ale.
Speight’s is really New Zealand’s version of Stonehenge: a national institution, a constant, an immovable object against the unstoppable force that is craft brewery. While Speight’s does have a range that has expanded a fair way with the advent of low carb beers – namely the Summit range – they do dabble in the oddball and strange. One of these dabbles is Speight’s Hazy Pale Ale.
You may be thinking to yourself, “When the fuck did Speight’s start making a hazy?” which funnily enough was also my reaction, but thanks to some clearing up from the wonderful Thomas at the Speight’s Cellar Door shop (shot g) it's been at least since April – when he began working there (a coincidence). There's the tiny inconvenience of it only being available at the brewery for off-license consumption and at Speight’s Ale Houses for on-site antics, but it only added to the novelty in my eyes.
Clocking in at a cheeky 4.5% and only available in sizes between 1 and 2 liters (of course I got the 2) it makes for a potentially shocking Rhino at 7.2 standards in a bottle, but leads with a rather pleasant smell, which could be described as like if you mixed all the hazys you can buy at the supermarket together: a rather general hazy scent, which bodes well. Whilst the scent is hazy, as is the weightyness in the mouth, the taste is like if you were thinking about GMAs (Gold Medal Ales) whilst drinking a hazy. And boy do I fucking love GMAs. The lack of that odd crafty bittersweetness makes this possibly the only hazy I have ever enjoyed.
Although the price at $14 a liter is a bit steep, it’s okay as this is basically if beer were what you thought whisky was like as a kid. Its rich, full spectrum flavour is what could only be described as TheBomb.com and the taste, while consistent, makes you want to just hold it in your mouth forever. Also, go get a Speight’s Mates card – you get 15% off all merch and piss you buy from the brewery, so a 24 of Summit cans works out to be $37, you beauty.
Chugability: No, don’t be a fucking animal/10
Hangover: Life hack, you can’t be hungover if you never stop drinking these beauties
Pairs well with: Life, ‘Ventura Highway’ mashups