Aotearoa’s Conspiracy Pages Are a Cesspit

I went into this expecting to find some wild and quirky conspiracy theories. I found some. But it took a lot of trawling through the same racist shit to get there. New Zealand’s conspiracy scene is warped, hateful, and absurdly ignorant.  1080 eyewitness. This group is fucking huge for some reason. There are over 20,000 members and they all hate 1080. On the surface, this is a simple cause. But it goes a lot deeper. Members of...

NZ CRYPTIDS: Which would be the best to live with?

Flatting is expensive, and finding a good flatmate can be tricky. With environmental destruction plowing through the nation, many elusive figures of the wilderness have decided to hang up the spooky hat and make tracks into town. Some want degrees, some just want the ladies, but all are moving to Dunedin. Before you sign your next flat, here are eight contenders rumoured to have haunted New Zealand, looking to trade their no longer pristine...

WARNING: In 20 Years, There Will Be Crime

The 1960s were a beautiful time. They gave us tie-dye, ketamine, hippies, the Manson Family, and the beginning of an unusually violent global crime pandemic. I don’t mean to alarm you, but it could happen again. And it’s going to happen in Waikouaiti and Karitane.  Let me explain. Around the time Cher released her debut album, we saw a huge surge of crime around the world. This continued over three decades, peaking in the...

What Conspiracy Theory Are You?

1 - What is your favourite Wii Sports sport? a.             Bowling b.            ...

The Titanic Never Sunk

I don't know about you, but I've never met anyone who was on the Titanic when it sunk. Strike one. Do they really expect us to believe that “the unsinkable ship”, effectively a spaceship, really sank on its maiden voyage? The whole thing smells fishy, and I’m about to enlighten you. Two things to remember when engaging in normal, social discourse on any subject. Follow the money, and don’t be a sheep. So...

Rotuman Language Week: Time To Learn About Rotuma

Noa’ia (hello), baddies! This week, from Sunday 9 May to Saturday 15 May, is Rotuman language week. Some of y’all might be thinking, “what the heck and where the heck is Rotuma?” Read on rockstars. Rotuma is a group of volcanic islands, made up of Rotuma Island and nearby islets (tiny baby islands), and is a self-governing Fijian dependency. Rotuma Island is 13km long and 4km wide, and is located about 465km North of...