Overworked, Underpaid, Undertrained: The Nightmare Lives of RAs

*All the names of the RAs in this article have been changed due to strict contracts forbidding RAs to speak to the media My parents may not be legally obligated to look after my drunk ass after age 18, but someone has to if I’m not going to end up dead in a ditch. Enter Residential Assistants. Soft, welcoming and with a bosom so loving that freshers can suckle lime Cruisers from their titties, RAs are the father figure in your life who...

Game of Faculties

If HBO weren’t being massive cockteases and making us wait a whole extra year, the new season of Game of Thrones would be out by now. But it’s not and everyone is very sad about that. To ease the pain of not having any new episodes, we fired up the ol’ imagination and paired common degrees at Otago University with some of the Great Houses of Westeros   House Stark: Commerce The commerce students are the...

I Took Mushrooms and Went to a Concert, Because Journalism

If there’s one thing that Critic has taught me, it’s that you can do the dumbest shit you can think of, and if you write about it afterwards, it’s still technically journalism. Watch every Adam Sandler movie in a year? Journalism. Wear a fedora for seven days? Journalism. Fuck a guy to smoke his meth? Questionable, but still journalism [“How Wack is Crack?” - Issue 1, 2013]. And luckily for me, apparently so is...