A Satanic Setup

Posted 6:27pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

“The night is dark, and full of terrors,” whispers Leroy. “Fuck off, Leroy,” you respond. “I’m tired of hearing about that Game of Thrones bullshit.” Your group of friends crosses the field, dark clouds massing above, blocking out the stars and Read more...

A Herbal Hellscape

Posted 6:17pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

It’s common knowledge that humans don’t know everything. We might have figured out how to make handheld phones with cameras so that we can take pictures of our junk and send them to people on the other side of the world, but there’s a lot we still don’t know. This is Read more...

Cultivate Me

Posted 6:12pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Phillip Plant

Like many people, I have struggled to discover my place in the world. One day some friends were discussing the Manson murders, which provoked an epiphany. I would indeed find my place … in a cult. I immediately set about attempting to join a cult which is defined following Read more...

Taking It To The Grave

Posted 6:08pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Sophia Carter Peters

Southern Cemetery: Dunedin’s first major cemetery opened in 1858, and you can see the wear in the headstones. Perched atop a hill overlooking the large flat basin that makes up most of the town centre, the dearly departed have a lovely sweeping view of the city they died in. With five main Read more...

How I Became the Most Powerful Male Wiccan in North Dunedin

Posted 6:06pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Charlie OíMannin

In the depths of time before the world came into being (2001), in a dark and distant land (the American Midwest), a book was made. This book was called “Wicca Spellcraft for Men” and I bought a copy of it from a library sale for a single smackeroo. After all, I was a man, and I was Read more...

I Went To A Menís Rights Summit And They Tried To Recruit Me

Posted 11:39pm Thursday 16th May 2019 by Oscar Francis

Why would anyone go to a men’s summit, in an age of online self help videos and feminism, let alone bother to host one? Critic decided it would be fun to try and find out what happens at these meetings, but as it turns out there was very little fun to be had. What follows is the gruelling true Read more...

I Sat in the Library and Reviewed Some Textbooks for Fun on a Friday Night

Posted 10:50pm Thursday 16th May 2019 by Owen Clarke

There’s not a whole lot of positive shit I can say about academic textbooks. They’re heavy, boring, and smell like an old folks home. That said, I did enjoy wanking to page 44 of our Biology textbook back in Year 7 and Year 8, and maybe a few times in Year 9. Aside from that, and the Read more...

To Catch a Predator: Leaving Stuff Unattended in Various Libraries

Posted 9:11pm Thursday 9th May 2019 by James Joblin

Friends, the festivities of exam season are almost upon us and at this time we should give thanks for how blessed we are with our University. Believe it or not, some people will never get to live the classic Otago experience of watching a couch aflame with a mate’s shoe in one hand, a can Read more...

Too Much of a Good Thing: Why Students Get Breast Reductions

Posted 9:05pm Thursday 9th May 2019 by Erin Gourley

“I found my old bra the other day and I could put it over my face. Each boob was bigger than my head,” Dominique told me. She had a breast reduction when she was 17. "It was the best thing I ever did." Big boobs are seen as an attractive feature, like having long legs or Read more...

Big Hits: Critic Tackles Super Rugby

Posted 9:00pm Thursday 9th May 2019 by Oscar Francis

Fucking bagpipes. We walk past an ominous circle of tartan, practising on the tarmac like something out of Children of Men. “Jump in,” Amber the contracted PR person for the fast food restaurant says. Okay. We hop on the back of a modified golf buggy shaped like a chicken bucket. It Read more...

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