The Critic Guide to Relaxing Around Campus

The life of a student is a life of stress. Countless classes, assignments and exams will all get the better of us sooner or later. Things are hard sometimes. That’s why you deserve to take a minute to sit with your friends and kick back. There are lots of places around Uni that can help you chill out for a while. Here’s a guide to some of the best and worst locations around campus to just sit and relax.   East...

The Best Vape Spots Around Campus

If you’re a poor student like me who craves the sweet satisfaction of nicotine, then boy do I have something for you. Vaping, the cheaper alternative to smoking. For a while, I was anti-vaping. The big clouds and unusual flavours were a turn-off for me. But once the price of darts went up and I couldn’t justify wasting my living costs, I converted to the vape nation – and boy, I don’t regret it. The best thing about...

The Inside Job

The following tale details the events of a casual Sunday afternoon. You, the reader, have just returned from a relaxing cricket game with a delicious pizza when suddenly…. it goes missing. You must carefully utilize the clues given to deduce the suspect. Happy sleuthing.     It’s 6:00 p.m. on a Sunday, and you’ve just returned from Domino’s with a delicious $5 pizza. It’s your favorite type of...

The Most Pointless Phrasebook You’ll Ever Read

None of these phrases will help you find a train station. But at least you’ll learn some Arabic slang, a few Cherokee phrases, and a selection of Japanese inspirational quotes.   German Er ist dumm wie Bohnenstroh. Pronunciation: Ur ist dumm vee Bor-nen-straw. He is as dumb as a bean straw.    Da steppt der Bär! Pronunciation: Da stept dear bear! The bear dances there! (It will be a good...

Christchurch Photo Essay

On March 15, New Zealand was rocked by a terrorist attack on two mosques in Christchurch which claimed 50 lives and left dozens more injured. Worshippers at the Al Noor Mosque and Linwood Mosque were attacked by a gunman during Friday prayers. The city of 400,000 was left in collective mourning. Critic photographer Aiman Amerul Muner was at the scene of the Christchurch attacks the day after the shooting, as well as the Dunedin...

Editorial

Christchurch took a long time to sink in. When I first heard the news I didn’t react at all, I just went about my normal day; I hung out on my back deck, I listened to a podcast, I walked down to the Critic office. It was only as I was walking that it...

A Muslim Perspective

I have many words, but at the same time I have none that can truly convey the hurt in my heart. Yesterday, I was shocked. I was confused and lost and could not wrap my head around any of it. “How did this happen here? This isn't something that...

A Letter From the Muslim University Students’ Association

Today, we went to the mosque to pray for all our brothers and sisters affected by the tragic massacre of Muslims in...

Top 10 Ways to Look After Your Friends

1. Know their favourite food, where to get it and be able to get it ASAP, for if you sense they aren’t feeling all that happy. 2. Get to know their parents or a sibling, if possible. Even if...

UoO Moaningful Confessions

I was going through a hoe phase at the start of last year, and I’m not ashamed of it. I was swiping up a storm on tinder, matching with cuties all day long. There was one particular boy that...

Critic Blind Date

The hopeful lovers on the Critic Blind Date are provided with a meal and a bar tab, thanks to Mamacita. If you’re looking for love and want to give the Blind Date a go, email...

Horoscopes

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Be careful if Limeing this week. Your progesterone levels are critically low and you’re just so gumby right now. Mercury is in your money zone and that means it’s ok to ask your parents for a top up. There’s no...

Towel Folding Tutorial: Penis

If you rate your rolling ability, have started watching Marie Kondo on Netflix or just want to try something new, then I highly recommend you try towel folding. Through my extensive research, I’ve found towel folding a great way to relax, an excellent...

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