Seagulls: An Exposé

Seagulls, the resident shit cunts of almost every city in New Zealand. Despite interacting with them on a daily basis, there remains much unknown to the general public about them. How long can they fly? What are their intentions? Do they have a supportive father figure? One of the biggest questions is, why do they stand on one leg all the time? Cursory Google searching revealed a potential reason, that it allows them to conserve body heat...

What to Do in Self-Isolation

Everyone is freaking out about Coronavirus at the moment, buying mass amounts of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, just in case. The fear of the unknown has taken us over. What if it hits Dunedin? What if you get it? What if everything gets shut down and you don’t have enough supplies to last you for whoever knows how long? The big buzzword going along with this is self-isolation. People who are sick or have just arrived in NZ from countries...

Give Nothing to Racism: A Year On.

On 15 March 2019, a white supremacist terrorist walked into a mosque during Friday prayer and gunned down 51 innocent people, injuring 49 more. It was the kind of news that sent a whole nation into shock. Most people remember exactly where they were when they heard the news, and will remember for the rest of their lives. There was nation-wide action, with a government recall of automatic weapons. The Give Nothing to Racism (GNTR) campaign,...

Hospo Hell

Getting a part-time hospitality job is like being a first year in a hall. Not all do it, but for most people it is an inevitable and expected part of the University experience. From the outside, casual waitressing, bartending, cleaning, and serving, all seem like perfect, simple side-hustles to our 40-hour study weeks. However, Dunedin has a nefarious underbelly of seedy hospo employers, little job security, harassment, abuse of power and just...

How to Take Feet Pics

For those of you whose casual employment is drying up and who are thinking about ways to make money from home by selling pictures of your feet, Critic has you covered.   The feet: Literally any feet will do. The more natural, the better - leave those beautiful little toe hairs alone. If you are worried that your feet are too weird or gross looking, don’t be. Weird and gross feet are genuinely a thing that people are into. That...

Just the Tip

Want to deal with a dick flatmate, problems with your studies, or want tips on how to woo your latest Tinder match? Your anonymous concerns will be addressed by a panel of Critic's life coaches. The Virgin Sappho, 2nd Year I. Need. A gf. I’ve...

Horoscope

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Your chakras align this week as you realise it’s time for a personality adjustment. And to buy a meal that isn’t Maggi noodles. Your childhood TV show to watch this week: Caillou the annoying bald...

Moaningful Confessions

Last summer, I did what any bored and horny gal does and tried to get validation from random Tinder guys. I swiped on a dude who seemed pretty cute, but a bit of a shit cunt - just my type. We talked...

Vape Review

Believe it or not, I am somewhat of a patriot. At least when it comes to biscuits. I have tried multiple Anzac flavoured vape juices, and I can honestly say that none have come as close to what Vapourium offers. I think this one has done our fallen soldiers...

Bone Apple Teeth: Focaccia

Not to be corny, but making bread is an activity that has brought me unrivalled joy throughout my life. A handful of ingredients and a few hours will yield a delicious loaf to share and fill and entire house with the cosiest, most comforting smell.  This...

Kebab House

Operating a family business can be tough. Long days, commitment to work, and family time 24/7. Yet somehow, a few full-time students and their father run a kebab shop specialising in Afghan food in a place that is very different from Afghanistan: North...

AUSA Copies OUSA’s Covid-19 campaign

The Auckland University Students’ Association (AUSA) has launched a covid-19 campaign that reuses ideas from OUSA, Critic, and the internet.  AUSA President George Barton admitted that...

OUSA Endorse Mysterious “Charter” That You Are Not Allowed to Know About

The OUSA Exec has endorsed a “Charter”, the name and contents of which are confidential and will remain so until...

Students Still Waiting for StudyLink

A large number of students are still waiting for their first Studylink payment to come through, despite a month passing since classes began. One student called it “a fucking stitch up”,...

Students “In Limbo” Waiting for Covid-19 to Hit Campus

Otago students are “scared”, “concerned”, and “feel as if [their] whole lives are about to come toa...

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