Pisces
Assignment grind has been getting you down, but now is the time to treat yourself to a big present. Who cares if it will put you into financial ruin in the very near future, put that purchase on Afterpay and never look back.
Your Queer awakening: Glee
Libra
PLEASE GO TO THE TOILET AFTER YOU HAVE SEX! Your body cannot handle another UTI before it goes absolutely haywire and shuts down on you.
Your Queer awakening: Your high school science teacher
Aries
Have you been keeping up to date with your oral hygiene? It could be time to try and book in with the Dent school because while that initial cost is high, it's even more expensive (and gross) to get dentures.
Your Queer awakening: The whole Jennifer’s Body movie
Sagittarius
Sag, you have a big week of walking ahead of you. Maybe your car breaks down or you're invited to a bunch of events on the opposite sides of town. Whatever it is, it's time to get some calf and quad stretches in because this is going to be a big week.
Your Queer awakening: Timothée Chalamet in Call Me By Your Name
Aquarius
Big things are happening and everything will come together like a good batch of scones. You have been putting yourself through hell to get everything done and finally you're getting a good result. Just be sure not to let this success go to your head.
Your Queer awakening: Velma from Scooby Doo
Scorpio
Your sex life is peaking so hard rn, no pun intended. Make sure to write about it in full detail in your diary so that when your libido dips later next month you will have some content to remind you of the good times.
Your Queer awakening: Han Solo
Cancer
With the new moon on Tuesday bringing you to the forefront of celestial power, be cautious of the way your body reacts. Your health has been a little precarious lately and this surge of energy has a lot of potential to get you real down bad. Stay safe xx
Your Queer awakening: Critic Bachelor
Leo
The really intense friendship you had in Year 9 will come back to haunt you this week. Watch out for a rogue Facebook request or a quick add, be sure to not fall back into that trap. Nothing good will come of this.
Your Queer awakening: Charli XCX
Capricorn
Capricorn, you have had a big few weeks of carrying the convo with your situationship. It's time to put them to the ultimate test and to stop texting first. This will really shed some light on how invested in this situation they are in comparison to you.
Your Queer awakening: Elastigirl from The Incredibles
Taurus
This week you have a lot to say, and that is not a common trait for you – at least saying stuff that people actually want to hear. Something has clicked for you and you have a deeper understanding of the world and social interactions around you. Just be sure to use this to help those around you, not to just get free drinks… or do both?
Your Queer awakening: Jacob Elordi from Euphoria
Virgo
As someone who is relatively in tune with your surrounding, you are being a fucking idiot this week. There is someone who feels some pretty strong feelings towards you and you are paying them absolutely no attention. Open your eyes and look around.
Your Queer awakening: Your flatmate’s older sibling
Gemini
It’s time to take a break from smoking and vaping. You have been wheezing as you walk up the two flights of stairs to your lecture and it’s not a cute look to be huffing and puffing your way around Central. It's probably also a good way to show your friends that you can really ‘give it up whenever you want.’
Your Queer awakening: Fireboy and Watergirl in the water temple (wet)