Capricorn
You've been running on feet that are one step away from giving out from beneath you, and everyone’s concerned with the amount of caffeine you have been downing lately. Paired with your “I’ll sleep after my exams” attitude, you should be careful and sleep off the burn out.
The shoe you'd be: Puma Wildcats
Libra
Scurvy should be something that is obsolete in the modern age. Unfortunately, you are living proof that it’s still kicking about in the big ‘26. Get your 5+ a day and some sun on your face – even if the rest of you is bundled up.
The shoe you'd be: Dr Marten Sandals
Leo
Your hormones are running rampant, and emotions are bubbling up like a messy volcano. Your phone minutes are going to take a hit when you cry your heart out to your best mate and your mum, even if you're probably in the wrong.
The shoe you'd be: Uggs
Taurus
If you had a penny for every time your friends tried to guilt trip you into coming out, you’d be able to pay off your student loan. Alas, you’ll keep racking it up – although your heart yearns for the clubs, your GPA yearns for a study sesh.
The shoe you'd be: Vintage Mary Janes
Sagittarius
I sense that you may be awaiting a very important email. As nervous anticipation eats at you and time feels like it's ticking slower, hold steady and don’t spam them. You’re too nonchalant for people to think you’re desperate.
The shoe you'd be: Birkenstock Bostons
Gemini
Usually, you're the first person to be up for a DIY home project. However, a leaking pipe may be better handled by a qualified plumber – even if your mend has some wabi-sabi to it. Time to put down your duct tape and TikTok tutorial, and call in the pros.
The shoe you'd be: Nike Air Jordans
Aries
This week you're going to be itching for a night out! Begging your friends to go out with you even when exams are a few weeks away may be a tad bit cheeky, but hey – a wee bit of vodka and dancing never hurt anyone… Right?
The shoe you'd be: Barefoot shoes (specifically the kind look like gloves)
Pisces
It's time to pamper yourself! I'm not talking about a small sweet treat or something – no no no. For the amount of stress you're about to be in, you deserve a full makeover. Play an early 2000’s movie montage playlist, start spending, and get fabulous!
The shoe you'd be: Adidas Campus 00’s
Aquarius
Your heart is yearning for some time with furry friends – pics of the family critter isn’t cutting it anymore. Unfortunately, the spider that's been lurking in the corner of your lounge just isn’t as loveable. Maybe upgrade the flat pet to something that the flatties don’t live in fear of.
The shoe you'd be: Nike Air Force Ones
Scorpio
This week, Tinder seems to be the home of every fine single individual who has ever graced the streets of this great city. Update those pics and put yourself out there. It’s not often that not every viable option for a night of fun is totes chopped.
The shoe you'd be: Boat shoes
Cancer
Your room has been collecting more than just dust recently – you’re a total hoarder. The best method is to get rid of anything which doesn't bring you joy anymore – Marie Kondo that shit. A bonus is that you’ll have less stuff to get infested with mould this winter!
The shoe you'd be: Vans Sk-8 Hi
Virgo
With more hours of unwatched lectures than time left in the semester, you’re going to regret the “chill” approach you took to uni this year. I advise selling your soul to the Otago ghosts that roam the halls of the library to scrape by.
The shoe you'd be: DIY custom Converses
