Horoscopes: Issue 25 2026

Posted 11:41am Sunday 4th October 2026

Aquarius Having trouble deciding which personality to go with today? The allegations of you being “pretentious” and “vapi” are not going to go away unless you lock in and find a bit of inner peace. So take a minute and try finding yourself before you forget who you actually Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 24 2026

Posted 3:48pm Saturday 26th September 2026

Libra: Your love life has been on life support in 2026. It’s time to start thinking about dipping your toes back in the water, before your flatmates start feeling bad for you. Ask someone on a date – the stars promise that it’s time.  Hangxiety-inducing moment in town: Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 23 2026

Posted 11:57am Sunday 20th September 2026

Capricorn Mid-sem is over, which means this is the one golden week where going to Central might not send you into a full panic attack. Capitalise on this tiny window of freedom before exams ruin your life again. Head to St Kilda at the witching hour and scream your woes into the waves. School Club Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 22 2026

Posted 11:13am Sunday 13th September 2026

Libra: Your brain might be yelling at you to start early prep for finals, but your wairua is screaming to pick up a pencil, knitting needles, or literally anything with slightly more whimsy than grinding out Quizlet flashcards. Give in to the art before the study burnout sets in.  Your Bratz Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 21 2026

Posted 11:49am Sunday 6th September 2026

Pisces Everyone knows that you want that Capricorn bad, despite your attempts to act aloof and professionally detached. Stop pretending you don’t care because out of fear caring might make you look stupid. You already look stupid. You may as well get what you want. Your Brunch Order: Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 20 2026

Posted 12:34pm Sunday 23rd August 2026

Leo The slopes are calling your name – the Ōtepoti snow day gave you hunger for the alps. You're ready to sell your sanity, fill a five-seater car with eight of your friends and make the long road trip to Queenstown. Beware: there will be at least three arguments on the way!! Your Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 19 2026

Posted 10:15am Sunday 16th August 2026

Cancer The break’s coming up, and all you can think about is how time is slipping right through your fingers. Stock up on your favourite chocolate to stress eat now, because even though your brain is fried, we both know you’re still going to try to shove more lectures into Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 18 2026

Posted 3:32pm Saturday 8th August 2026

Aries Fire burns bright in your heart, yet the one you seek may be blinded by flames. You leap toward peaks high in the heavens, but mind thy step – don’t mistake treacherous lands for a safe haven.  Your fairytale: Thumbelina Taurus Your pocket has been swindled of copper, Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 17 2026

Posted 11:42am Sunday 2nd August 2026

Aries You’ve been running on less than empty lately. Sleeping on your laptop in lectures just isn't the same as hitting your pillow at home, even if the lecture theatre is warmer and your lecturer’s voice is basically free ASMR. Go home and get some rest. Your party game: Arm Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 16 2026

Posted 9:32am Sunday 26th July 2026

Aries It’s time to cultivate more than just black mould in your bedroom. Grab those stolen plant clippings and turn your flat into a greenhouse. The best part? You can blast your heater to a ‘tropical’ level and blame the power bill on your green thumb.  Your cleaning Read more...