Libra:
Your brain might be yelling at you to start early prep for finals, but your wairua is screaming to pick up a pencil, knitting needles, or literally anything with slightly more whimsy than grinding out Quizlet flashcards. Give in to the art before the study burnout sets in.
Your Bratz doll: Kumi
Capricorn:
Homesickness is hitting you harder than any wave of fresher flu ever could. Calling your parents once a week isn’t cutting it anymore, and you’re probably going to spend a solid two hours on Skyscanner staring at inflated ticket prices in hopes of getting back home for a proper hug from Mum.
Your Bratz doll: Nevra
Taurus:
You finally got the job you were praying for, only to realise it’s not all that. It’s time to draft up yet another two-week notice email, hit send, and spend the rest of your shifts skulking around trying to avoid eye contact with your manager. But don't worry, the crystal ball says that your next job won't be so shit.
Your Bratz doll: Raya
Gemini:
You’ve been rotting in your whare for way too long, and your friends are starting to think you’ve vanished into thin air. Pull on your least dirty socks and make the agonising, wind-swept trek down to civilisation before your metes forget what your face looks like.
Your Bratz doll: Fianna
Cancer:
Assignments are piling up, and with the absurd amount of responsibility you’ve taken on, it’s a miracle you’re still functioning. You don’t need to say yes to every committee, shift, or favour. Drop something before your back actually breaks under the weight of it all.
Your Bratz doll: Sasha
Scorpio:
You usually have more unhinged energy than a raccoon that's snorted a fresh line of coke, but recently life has been doling out one hit after the other. It's time to stock up on the cheapest energy drink you can find, and just keep swimming till the wīkene hits again.
Your Bratz doll: Tiana
Sagittarius
Don't get too whakahīhī and start slacking the basics of your routine. This week (and every other week), it's important to remember your meds, because they are not a placebo. So please don't ignore your 7pm reminder telling you to take them – unless you want a very expensive reality check.
Your Bratz doll: Yasmin
Aquarius:
Word on the street is you're in an age-gap situationship; the pātai is whether you're drawn to the sweet candy under a wrinkled wrapper or just doing it purely for the plot. It’s prime time to lean into those fantasies and knock a few questionable items off your Rice Purity test.
Your Bratz doll: Felicia
Virgo:
A day of immense importance approaches, youngling. You’re about to turn another year older and somehow remain infinitely wiser than half the people in your life. Celebrate the fact that you are officially one year closer to retirement, where you will finally find peace. Wūhū!
Your Bratz doll: Phoebe
Pisces:
Things are finally settling down after a few weeks of absolute chaos. Isn’t it nice to go back to your normal day-to-day life and be able to not be constantly hungover? I wish you luck on your journey of sobriety, as I know the road is not easy.
Your Bratz doll: Dana
Aries
Get your funky pāti glasses out of the drawer; it's time to go to a function or two. Just try not to get pushed through a window at the clurbs. Instead, make sure the pantry is fully stocked with 2-minute buldak noodles, so you're ready for when the 1am munchies inevitably hit.
Your Bratz doll: Cloe
Leo
It's time to get those borderline mouldy panana out of your fridge and try baking some banana cupcakes. The lessons you learn about trusting the process while doing your baking may just give you a new outlook on life.
Your Bratz doll: Jade
