Aquarius
Having trouble deciding which personality to go with today? The allegations of you being “pretentious” and “vapi” are not going to go away unless you lock in and find a bit of inner peace. So take a minute and try finding yourself before you forget who you actually are.
Your love language: Deep chats (aka ‘DMCs’)
Cancer
The lock in hath begun! Exam season is right around the corner, but remember time flies when you spend your days in the library. Trust in your prep and your hard work will not forsake you. Keep grinding and one day you'll finish the hundred lectures you have to watch.
Your love language: Sharing your vape
Virgo
The semester is dying, yet your group chat is full of half baked plans. As midnight approaches, please solidify your agenda before you turn back into a pumpkin. If you hesitate now then all the ideas will stay just that – ideas.
Your love language: Chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate
Capricorn
It's time to admit that you may just be a weirdo. Embrace the independence it brings and let the normies continue in their ignorant bliss. It’s okay if you find discussing nuclear physics more interesting than what happened over the weekend.
Your love language: Gift-giving – even when you're broke
Taurus
Have you ever not been sick? Asking your Health Sci friend for a diagnosis won't get you that extension for your assignment. Stop avoiding the month-long queue, and commit to waking up early enough to nab an appointment at Student Health.
Your love language: Quality time spent rotting
Scorpio
You’ve gone completely off the grid lately and your friends are slowly starting to wonder if they need to start pinning missing posters on the overcrowded lecture hall noticeboards. Reclaim your social life and answer the texts before everyone assumes you've dropped out.
Your love language: Acts of service
Sagittarius
Take a chill pill, try to focus on your own work, and see that the library is a silent zone, not the most recent opportunity to practice your stand up routine. Please sit down and zip it before the library staff kicks you out – with silent cheers from all.
Your love language: Love bombing
Gemini
Good karma is heading straight for you after all that positive energy you’ve dumped into the universe. Soak up the good vibes, and enjoy the payoff you've thoroughly earned. Your contagious kindness keeps lifting up everyone around you until they practically float.
Your love language: Letting people ‘borrow’ your clothes
Libra
Feeling restless? Half the club execs you overloaded yourself with are wrapping up for the year, so try to channel that energy into something new. Whether it’s studying or knitting, try to not let it fully consume your every waking moment.
Your love language: Hugs and kisses and…
Pisces
If you haven't booked your flight home yet, you're pretty much fucked! Check Skyscanner right now, and launch a tearful video call with your parents to try guilt-trip them into funding it. Who knows – if your acting is up to par you could even spring for Air NZ this time.
Your love language: Being an active listener
Leo
You’re perceived as an extrovert by most, so don't be surprised when party invites pile up despite you being an introvert at heart. Either take the red pill and crawl out of your shell, or the blue pill and remain in bed happily doom scrolling. The decision is yours!
Your love language: Teasing and taunting
Aries
The world feels completely unpredictable right now – and honestly, fair enough. Remember to keep your head up as you wade into the chaotic turn of events that is coming next. You are in for a treat, but you’ll make it through!
Your love language: Being loyal asf
