Horoscopes: Issue 18 2026

Posted 3:32pm Saturday 8th August 2026 by The Orb

Aries Fire burns bright in your heart, yet the one you seek may be blinded by flames. You leap toward peaks high in the heavens, but mind thy step – don’t mistake treacherous lands for a safe haven.  Your fairytale: Thumbelina Taurus Your pocket has been swindled of copper, Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 17 2026

Posted 11:42am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by The Orb

Aries You’ve been running on less than empty lately. Sleeping on your laptop in lectures just isn't the same as hitting your pillow at home, even if the lecture theatre is warmer and your lecturer’s voice is basically free ASMR. Go home and get some rest. Your party game: Arm Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 16 2026

Posted 9:32am Sunday 26th July 2026 by The Orb

Aries It’s time to cultivate more than just black mould in your bedroom. Grab those stolen plant clippings and turn your flat into a greenhouse. The best part? You can blast your heater to a ‘tropical’ level and blame the power bill on your green thumb.  Your cleaning Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 15 2026

Posted 9:31am Saturday 18th July 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn Stop overbooking yourself before you have a public meltdown in Central Library. Nobody expects you to be a CEO, and burning out before midterms will tank your GPA. Pace yourself, breathe, and accept you don't need to make millions. Yet.  Your Greek God: Hermes Ares The Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 14 2026

Posted 3:57pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by The Orb

Cancer This week it’s time to let your hair down and embrace some cultish behaviour. Don’t sacrifice the family pet goat, but skipping around a beach bonfire while cross-faded with friends might do the trick. Your Otago canon event: Never being satisfied by your degree Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 13 2026

Posted 12:02pm Saturday 23rd May 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn You've been running on feet that are one step away from giving out from beneath you, and everyone’s concerned with the amount of caffeine you have been downing lately. Paired with your “I’ll sleep after my exams” attitude, you should be careful and sleep off Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 12 2026

Posted 11:46am Sunday 17th May 2026 by The Orb

Capricorn With exams around the corner, your anxiety has been running high. Although patronising to hear, try to take a minute and actually breathe. Pinky promise that it’ll be easy to remember the things you're trying to shove into your mushy brain if you’re a bit calmer. Your Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 11 2026

Posted 10:07am Sunday 10th May 2026 by The Orb

Gemini As a potent full moon takes its effect on you this week, you're going to feel drawn to address the hidden cravings you've been pushing to the back of your mind. Acknowledge these desires before the energy causes disruption in your life. Flatmate stereotype: The free spirit – Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 10 2026

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by The Orb

Pisces The world sometimes feels like it’s working against you. You apply for 100 jobs, and only get one interview – you’re scared it’s your destiny to be unemployed. A panic masters might be in your future. Surely the job market will have recovered by then. Go to study Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 9 2026

Posted 1:09pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by The Orb

Aries You're gonna go to a pub quiz this week, and feel like an absolute genius when you get the most random question right. Watch out though, cause at the rate you're drinking, you're going to wake up with the fattest hangover in history on a Wednesday or something.  Your Monster Read more...