Horoscopes: Issue 11 2026

Posted 10:07am Sunday 10th May 2026 by The Orb

Gemini As a potent full moon takes its effect on you this week, you're going to feel drawn to address the hidden cravings you've been pushing to the back of your mind. Acknowledge these desires before the energy causes disruption in your life. Flatmate stereotype: The free spirit – Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 10 2026

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by The Orb

Pisces The world sometimes feels like it’s working against you. You apply for 100 jobs, and only get one interview – you’re scared it’s your destiny to be unemployed. A panic masters might be in your future. Surely the job market will have recovered by then. Go to study Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 9 2026

Posted 1:09pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by The Orb

Aries You're gonna go to a pub quiz this week, and feel like an absolute genius when you get the most random question right. Watch out though, cause at the rate you're drinking, you're going to wake up with the fattest hangover in history on a Wednesday or something.  Your Monster Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 8 2026

Posted 1:23pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by The Orb

Pisces With things getting increasingly out of budget, it might be time to turn one of your hobbies into a side hustle for the next R1 Market Day. Wrangle your flatmates into helping, pay in drinks and start a makeshift factory line during free hour of power. Your character from The Office: Kelly Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 7 2026

Posted 3:51pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by The Orb

Taurus Your current employer is making you wanna quiet quit, or even just straight-up ghost them. Even though the job market is fucked, it can’t be worse than your current job. The next desk your resume lands on will be the right one. You deserve higher than minimum wage anyway. Your Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 6 2026

Posted 12:12pm Sunday 29th March 2026 by The Orb

Pisces As you hear the Clock Tower strike twelve at Pint Night, you’ll rush to buy another shot. However, in your haste to get drunk, you will lose your three year old Converses. It’s not guaranteed your Prince Charming will find them, but maybe your next two-week situationship Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 5 2026

Posted 12:04pm Sunday 22nd March 2026 by The Orb

Taurus Your inner child is running away from you. As you sit through your unnecessarily long lecture, you will wish you were still a kid who didn't have to put up with lectures and assignments. But enjoy the phase you're in right now, because you'll graduate eventually and forget all Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 4 2026

Posted 7:40pm Saturday 14th March 2026 by The Orb

Pisces You're going to get ragebaited beyond belief this week. Seeing that your dealer has a 50-inch TV, while you had to sell your soul for the $50 note in your hand, will cause you to question if your degree is worth it. It's probably not, but you have started, so may as well Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 3 2026

Posted 11:53am Sunday 8th March 2026 by The Orb

Scorpio Your lecturer keeps mumbling and refuses to wear their mic right, causing that all-too-familiar antsy feeling to creep back in. So this time, rather than changing your whole degree again, try going to UniPol and get that serotonin hit that makes you feel grounded. Your perfect crime: Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 2 2026

Posted 2:39pm Sunday 1st March 2026 by The Orb

Pisces It's time to go for another round of groceries, because that fuzzy mush in the back of your fridge will not sustain you. Break open your piggy bank and have a cry in New World when you see how much eggs cost this week. If you were a drug you'd be: Ritalin Capricorn Your Read more...