Horoscopes: Issue 9 2025

Horoscopes: Issue 9 2025

Pisces
You had as relaxing of a break as someone with three assignments due the first week back can have. Try not to take your lack of break out on those around you, they don't deserve to feel your wrath just because you're averaging five hours of sleep a night.
Susty activity rec: Bike to Andy Bay

Libra
This week your savings are at risk, so be sure to be cautious of any hidden cost that may affect you and your wallet. This is where your habit of not reading the fine print will bite you in the ass.
Susty activity rec: Glowworm hunting at Nicols Creek

Aries
As a fresh start to the semester, it's time to come up with some new-half-of-the-sem resolutions. Whether it's kicking your Cola addiction or actually writing notes in class and not just doing the Wordle, any improvement is a positive!
Susty activity rec: DIY name plates with old Critics

Sagittarius
Lately, your grades have been slipping a wee bit. The orb’s advice? Read through your assignments before you hand them in. Some mistakes make it through the cracks and are absolutely tanking your GPA; even if you just put it through Grammarly, something needs to change.
Susty activity rec: Visit the Dunedin City Library

Aquarius
Aquarius, you're so much closer to your goals than you think; it's time for that final push to reach your dream result. Stick with your plans and remember that you want this, don't just do what your lazy brain wants and go back to bed. 
Susty activity rec: Grab some vege from the farmers market

Scorpio
A lump has settled in your guts and you're feeling anxious about everything this week. Remember that a lack of eye contact does not mean that someone works for the KGB and wants you dead, some people just can't handle looking into your beautiful eyes for too long.
Susty activity rec: Donate your old clothes

Cancer 
This week you will discover your all-time favourite movie! Others won't understand why you like it but it will become your new hyperfixation. You have always been a little alty with your choice of media, and this new fave is no exception. 
Susty activity rec: Make your own chili oil 

Leo
Your fridge is in desperate need of a deep clean. If you fail to do it this week, then you will fail your flat inspection. Rotting fruit that you bought in your ‘healthy’ era is not a nice smell for your flatmates every time they need milk for their coffees.
Susty activity rec: Picnic at the Botans

Capricorn
Take a trip outside of Dunedin this week. You’ve been at Otago for far too long to have travelled as little as you have around the region. So load up your Bee card and jump on the first bus you see. You may end up stranded in a place called Balaclava ( but hey, it will be a good story.
Susty activity rec: Host a potluck with friends

Taurus
As the bull of the zodiacs, you are often seen as temperamental and quick to judge but this week you are just a big softy. Life has been taking it out of you lately and sometimes you just want a hug. Just remember that it's weird to hug strangers…
Susty activity rec: Try dying old clothes with veggies

Virgo
Maybe give up drinking for a little bit, you have been feeling a little off and it feels even worse after a night out on the town. Try going California sober, you'll feel as awesome as everyone else in the club but 1000x better than them the next day.
Susty activity rec: Yoga at OUSA

Gemini
Your music taste has been garbage as of late and you can't stop listening to the same three songs over and over again. It’s time to branch out because at this point your Spotify Wrapped is completely fucked.
Susty activity rec: Swap some books at a Lilliput Library

This article first appeared in Issue 9, 2025.
Posted 9:36pm Sunday 27th April 2025 by Critic.