Horoscopes: Issue 12 2025

Posted 10:27pm Sunday 18th May 2025

Pisces Start a business! There's no time like the present to pile another thing onto your plate and at least you will be motivated by your bank account's potential for exponential growth. Get creative with it and be sure to invest in Instagram ads. Old media to revive: Print TV Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 11 2025

Posted 2:57pm Sunday 11th May 2025

Pisces Invest in fruit during this week's grocery shop. Your memory and mind is stronger than ever and you will definitely not forget about the fruit and let it rot in the back of your fridge for three weeks. Now is also a good time to pick up a new hobby – maybe crosswords. Instrument Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 10 2025

Posted 9:26pm Sunday 4th May 2025

Pisces Pisces, time to go out and purchase some craft supplies. Everything is falling apart this week and your Duct Tape stockpile is dwindling.  Study Fuel: Three red kiwifruit and a Zombie Chew Libra Your condoms have holes in them, and you have been having a whole lot of sex. Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 9 2025

Posted 9:36pm Sunday 27th April 2025

Pisces You had as relaxing of a break as someone with three assignments due the first week back can have. Try not to take your lack of break out on those around you, they don't deserve to feel your wrath just because you're averaging five hours of sleep a night. Susty activity rec: Bike to Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 8 2025

Posted 10:46pm Sunday 13th April 2025

Pisces You have assignments due this week that you have forgotten about. Time to reread the course outline and fill in that calendar your aunt gave you for Christmas.  What flat archetype are you: Doesn't do dishes Libra Libra, this week you are going to be pushed to the edge. Your Read more...

Tell Us How You Really Feel: 100 Years of Hate Mail

Posted 10:25pm Sunday 6th April 2025

Critic’s had haters in our inbox right from day dot. Within the first few issues in 1925 there were letters predicting Critic’s downfall. Now in our 100th year, let’s have a toast for the douchebags, assholes, scumbags and jerk-offs who’ve penned objectively hilarious and Read more...

40 Ways Critic is the Worst Student Magazine in the World

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 6th April 2025

40 Ways was Critic’s weekly listicle, popular in the early 2000s and maybe even the 1990s – the halcyon days when men were men, women were women, men were also women, women were also gender constructs, and introductory blurbs were worth reading. Critic is the school lunch programme Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 7 2025

Posted 6:29pm Sunday 6th April 2025

Pisces Now is the time to start picking up a bit more responsibility. You have coasted along as a ‘teenager’ for long enough, your resume is looking a little light and applications for summer internships open soon. You as party food: Lamingtons Libra A little birdy told me that you Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 6 2025

Posted 10:56pm Sunday 30th March 2025

Pisces Don't eat that yogurt that has been sitting in your fridge since the start of uni. You have created a new kind of bacteria that will either make dicks double in length or kill someone. While fun and awesome, it's kind of gross.  Your joint to crack: Neck Libra Libra, Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 5 2025

Posted 10:18pm Sunday 23rd March 2025

Pisces This week's weather will be your downfall. Make sure that the first thing you do in the morning is check the MetService app – no one wants to be the person who gets caught in the rain in a t-shirt or forgets to put a top under their hoodie on what feels like the hottest day Read more...