Moaningful Confessions: Always Have a Plan B

Posted 9:58pm Saturday 4th October 2025

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. So I was all set to fly up to Christchurch – flights booked, outfits planned – all to see this guy I’d been chatting with. Two days before I’m meant Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Blocked and Cocked

Posted 10:59pm Sunday 28th September 2025

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. Last year, I made out with a guy in town I’d never met before. I thought it was a random, throwaway moment – until he tried to follow me home. Romantic? Creepy? Read more...

Moaningful Confession: Play It Cool

Posted 6:06pm Saturday 26th July 2025

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. Two weeks ago, I met the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. Our chance encounter outside the Clubs & Societies building led to two weeks of flirting more skillful than Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Acquaintance with Disadvantages

Posted 5:08pm Saturday 19th July 2025

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. When I was 19, I started sleeping with a 29-year-old man who thought he was incredibly charming in a sort of post-ironic, tortured-intellectual kind of way. I mostly just Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: “Caught, Clawed, and Chlorinated”

Posted 1:12pm Monday 14th July 2025

Have something juicy to tell us? Send your salacious stories to moaningful@critic.co.nz. Submissions remain anonymous. There’s something about Mediterranean air that turns you into the kind of girl who says yes to Jägermeister and public fingering. I was on a family holiday – Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 14 2025

Posted 12:48pm Monday 14th July 2025

Pisces This week you’ll find the thing you so desperately need to fill that hole in your heart. You’ve felt a little ‘out of sorts’ lately and crave stability; this will come from the most unexpected of places. Mistake to Avoid: Getting addicted to vaping… Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 13 2025

Posted 5:14pm Sunday 25th May 2025

Pisces Assignment grind has been getting you down, but now is the time to treat yourself to a big present. Who cares if it will put you into financial ruin in the very near future, put that purchase on Afterpay and never look back. Your Queer awakening: Glee Libra PLEASE GO TO THE TOILET AFTER Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 12 2025

Posted 10:27pm Sunday 18th May 2025

Pisces Start a business! There's no time like the present to pile another thing onto your plate and at least you will be motivated by your bank account's potential for exponential growth. Get creative with it and be sure to invest in Instagram ads. Old media to revive: Print TV Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 11 2025

Posted 2:57pm Sunday 11th May 2025

Pisces Invest in fruit during this week's grocery shop. Your memory and mind is stronger than ever and you will definitely not forget about the fruit and let it rot in the back of your fridge for three weeks. Now is also a good time to pick up a new hobby – maybe crosswords. Instrument Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 10 2025

Posted 9:26pm Sunday 4th May 2025

Pisces Pisces, time to go out and purchase some craft supplies. Everything is falling apart this week and your Duct Tape stockpile is dwindling.  Study Fuel: Three red kiwifruit and a Zombie Chew Libra Your condoms have holes in them, and you have been having a whole lot of sex. Read more...