Pisces
This week you’ll find the thing you so desperately need to fill that hole in your heart. You’ve felt a little ‘out of sorts’ lately and crave stability; this will come from the most unexpected of places.
Mistake to Avoid: Getting addicted to vaping… AGAIN
Libra
Its time to romanticise the fuck out of life. Libras are particularly susceptible to seasonal depression and this season is the absolute pits of Dunedin weather. So when you turn on the heat pump at 9pm, think about streaming a 12 hour continuous loop fireplace to your tv, just for the ‘vibes’.
Mistake to Avoid: Spending your paycheck in one day
Aries
It's time to create a new password that you will use for everything. Data leaks are happening everywhere and your Instagram DMs have some juicy secrets that would ruin some relationships if they got out. So add a ‘#’ to the end of your current password or if you're really serious about cybersecurity come up with a whole new one!
Mistake to Avoid: Spilling tea that isn't yours to pour
Sagittarius
Sagittarius, you love a fresh start, and for a uni student there is no fresher start than a new semester. So get everything in line, order a whole new wardrobe, read some self help books to form a new personality – do honestly anything to distract you from those disappointing exam grades you have been avoiding telling your parents about.
Mistake to Avoid: Farting while sitting in a lecture theatre
Aquarius
You are going to accidentally get in contact with someone you want to avoid. Stay clear of putting your phone in your back pocket just in case you butt dial your old boss or someone equally as awkward. Other than that, this week all your umming and ahhing about the future will settle and you finally feel comfortable with your decisions.
Mistake to Avoid: Putting too much on your plate and crying in the shower about it
Scorpio
This week is going to run rampant with strange encounters. Be sure to see the good in the people you meet, you never know what lesson you could learn from them, or the connections that they have.
Mistake to Avoid: Drinking four coffees before lunchtime
Cancer
It's time to go through your shoe collection and get rid of those musty, stinky, dirty shoes that you never even wear but keep them around because they “hold memories”. The only thing they hold is most likely the Covid-19 virus and about three shots worth of various spirits.
Mistake to Avoid: Bottling it all up and letting your vape take the stress away
Leo
Your plans for the week are going to change quite a lot, so don't get attached to how they are now. There is something waiting for you if you roll with the punches and stay positive about the fact that not everything will always go the way you want it to.
Mistake to Avoid: Not packing your bag the night before
Capricorn
This week you are accidentally going to get too high and experience ego death. Coming out the other side is going to be rough, and you will be way too self aware, but it will also make you a bit more compassionate and caring for those around you. Maybe lay off the weed for a bit though.
Mistake to Avoid: Relying on others to tell you what your responsibilities are
Taurus
Avoid the kitchen this week, nothing good will come from your attempt at meal prep and it's just easier to rely on your flatmates or the local fish and chip shop. However your creativity will come out in other ways so get ready to be covered in paint, paper cuts and glue.
Mistake to Avoid: Not realising that this is what it's all about
Virgo
Your rage runs deep this week, and even the tiniest of grammatical errors will set you off. Try channeling the rage into something productive, like creating a list of all of your enemies and trying to figure out if they really are connected and all plotting your downfall.
Mistake to Avoid: Forgetting to buy toilet paper until you are stuck up shit creek with no paddle
Gemini
You're feeling a little bit homesick this week, so try to treat yourself the way your parents do when you're home. Take yourself out for brunch, buy 3-ply toilet paper instead of two and let yourself turn your heater on a little bit before the free power.
Mistake to Avoid: Not wearing enough layers of clothing