Pisces
Start a business! There's no time like the present to pile another thing onto your plate and at least you will be motivated by your bank account's potential for exponential growth. Get creative with it and be sure to invest in Instagram ads.
Old media to revive: Print TV guides
Libra
Go out of your way to learn something new about someone you love. You’re usually a super attentive person but life has been getting in the way of that lately. The people around you will love and appreciate you even more, and you need a little loving.
Old media to revive: Chain emails
Aries
It's been a hard few weeks of forgetfulness, but it's imperative that you don't forget to take your washing out of the machine while it's wet. Mould grows quickly in Dunedin and a wet load of washing is the ideal breeding place for that shit.
Old media to revive: Shortland Street
Sagittarius
Wear blue this week. It makes your skin glow and gives your eyes an extra little pop that hides the dark circles underneath them.
Old media to revive: Anarchist zines
Aquarius
Eat a vegetable, otherwise there will be a disease named after you, and that is not something that can (or should) be put on your LinkedIn profile for prospective employers to see.
Old media to revive: Tumblr fanfic
Scorpio
This year has felt a little bit like walking up a hill with a tonne of bricks strapped to your back, but never fear… it's nearly exam season. While it will get worse before it gets better, the break will rejuvenate you beyond belief and you will come back cooler than a cucumber. Just hold out for that!
Old media to revive: Yahoo answers
Cancer
As your book turns to the next chapter it's time to really show yourself you are ready for the next step. That means a trip to Farmers to pick out your new signature scent of the season. Will you pick something spicy that shows how mature you are or will you go fruity to show that you like to have lots of fun? That's for you to decide.
Old media to revive: Buzzfeed quizzes
Leo
God you have had a shit week, but it's okay. The year is going pretty fast for you so the shittyness wont last too much longer. Right now if your life had a soundtrack it would just be the bridge to ‘Party 4 you’ by Charli XCX. Maybe it's time to try to change the song.
Old media to revive: Pirated films
Capricorn
A big secret is coming your way that will absolutely throw you off balance but also give you so much social clout. Try not to spread the secret-telling too thick with this one, you want people to keep telling you stuff.
Old media to revive: Cassettes
Taurus
Try a little more fibre in your diet, your tummy problems are starting to affect not only you but those around you too. If the fibre doesn't work then drinking enough to onset the booze poos will, with the added bonus of a fun night.
Old media to revive: TV infomercials
Virgo
Try spending a little more time in the communal areas of your flat, your flatmates miss you. Uni has started to take its toll on your social life but don't let it ruin your home life.
Old media to revive: Flip phones
Gemini
It’s time to reconnect with Papatūānuku. Go outside, get some fresh air and say “hi” to the sun. Slowing down and appreciating the world around you makes for a hell of a lot nicer day than bedrotting for 32 hours straight.
Old media to revive: Choose your own adventure books