Pisces
Pisces, time to go out and purchase some craft supplies. Everything is falling apart this week and your Duct Tape stockpile is dwindling.
Study Fuel: Three red kiwifruit and a Zombie Chew
Libra
Your condoms have holes in them, and you have been having a whole lot of sex. Therefore, to be a tidy Kiwi you are in need of a second method of contraception.
Study Fuel: Mandarins and custard
Aries
Life has been getting you down lately, but big things are in store for Aries this week. Visit the Microbiology building for a surprise that will rock your world so hard you won’t be able to walk straight for a week… if you're picking up what I’m putting down.
Study Fuel: Peanut butter crumpet
Sagittarius
It’s been a hard few weeks of semester, time to relax, unwind, and drink as many goons of wine as your stomach will allow. A bender is definitely a good way to shake off the stress.
Study Fuel: Fear of failure
Aquarius
Babe, you have been going hard on that special thing you’re addicted to. It's not hitting and is really making you realise that sometimes all good things must come to an end. You don't need to give up this addiction, just maybe take a tolerance break.
Study Fuel: Homemade frooze balls
Scorpio
This week the sinking feeling in your stomach will hit rock bottom. Every morning will be a wave of hangxiety, even if you stayed in the night before, and the overall tone of the week will be ‘Regret’. But just keep trucking along and one day you will wake up fine.
Study Fuel: Weetbix and cows milk
Cancer
It's time to become a vegan: a) fruit shops are so much cheaper than supermarkets and as a vegan, you could do your whole shop at Veggie Boys; b) fibre and gut health are important; c) no more “did I cook the chicken enough” anxiety.
Study Fuel: Creamed corn and mac and cheese
Leo
Okay, so here’s the situation: every time you find a new crush you act like the biggest fucking virgin, and while it’s not a bad thing to be a virgin, it’s bad to act like one. So stop being such a stage five clinger and let loose.
Study Fuel: Two mouldy hot cross buns
Capricorn
This week calls for reflection and closure. Sometimes all you do is look back and see the good stuff, but really you need to remember the bad too. Not everything is always sunshine and rainbows and every experience should be judged on a scale of good and bad.
Study Fuel: Your vision board
Taurus
Your need for control is at an all time high this week. Whether it's the order of your pencils or how your flatmate scrubs the dishes clockwise when they really should do it anti-clockwise, this week will be a bit of a battle for you. But hey, isn't every week?
Study Fuel: Half a bottle of wine and three Panadols
Virgo
Virgo, this week you are being visited by lady luck herself. So go buy a Lotto ticket and kiss your stepmum, no consequences will get you (this week at least). Now is also a good time to practise your back flips, with no mats to soften your landing.
Study Fuel: Too many rice balls
Gemini
Comfort and nostalgia are calling to you this week. So fill up your hot water bottle, make your favourite meal and binge watch your favourite shows. It's your last week of mild calmness before the wind up to exams and final assignments, so use it wisely.
Study Fuel: Three lolly snakes and a jet plane