Capricorn
Mid-sem is over, which means this is the one golden week where going to Central might not send you into a full panic attack. Capitalise on this tiny window of freedom before exams ruin your life again. Head to St Kilda at the witching hour and scream your woes into the waves.
School Club You'd Join: Debate Team
Aquarius
You’ve been sly lately, and you're giving major two-faced energy. Take a hard look at how you’ve been acting around your inner circle before people start calling you out on it. Don’t be too hard on yourself though, your mates know you have a lot on your plate <3
School Club You'd Join: Photography Club
Cancer
It’s time to host that iconic mega potluck you keep talking about. Half your friends will bring hearty soup and bread, while the other half brings cheap wine and fancy cheese. Stories will be told of this night for years to come and people will beg for a monthly redo.
School Club You'd Join: Knitting/Crochet Club
Taurus
Making massive weekend plans sounds great in theory, but try not to over-coordinate every single detail. You’re surrounded by people who just go with the flow, leaving you stressed out and playing group mum. Let go of the itinerary and let the chips fall where they may.
School Club You'd Join: Journalism Club
Sagittarius
The distance between you and your love interest just got bigger, so it might be time for a reality check. Don't waste your week weeping, because long distance rarely works out. Take a deep breath, cut the cord, and enjoy being single without the massive phone bill.
School Club You'd Join: Study Club
Virgo
Lincraft is whispering for you to go see its eternal closing sale. Go scout out some cheap fabric that looks suspiciously like your mother’s living room drapes. You might not know the hills are alive, but you’ll look like you’ve mastered every single word to do-re-mi.
School Club You'd Join: Magazine Committee
Aries
Your dream flat situation has turned out to be a slightly chaotic variant of what you originally signed up for. It’s basically an episode of Adults, but at least it keeps life interesting. Just refrain from dropping acid and letting wild animals take over.
School Club You'd Join: Coding Club
Gemini
It's time to strengthen your relationship with your toes, so head to your local yoga studio and test out how much flexibility you’ve actually kept over the years. As you reach down, you’ll realise it’s been way too long since your last pedicure – treat yourself to a trip to the salon.
School Club You'd Join: Art Club
Pisces
Flu season is officially ravaging Ōtepoti again, so please, for the love of God, just stay in bed. Stop dragging your sick self to the library all day to cough over the communal desk space. You aren't earning any extra credit by dying in a study cubicle.
School Club You'd Join: Hiking Club
Scorpio
It's been a minute since you spread it open and flicked the bean – but you are still the pussy queen. Go have a scroll online for some new toys and forget about the order until it arrives. Just remember to double-check the delivery address before it winds up at your parent’s house instead of the flat.
School Club You'd Join: Drama Club
Leo
The stack of assignments due this week is giving you major procrastination paralysis while time speeds on by. It may feel impossible, but you just have to eat this apple one tiny bite at a time. Keep nibbling away until you can finally close your laptop and breathe again.
School Club You'd Join: Cheese-making Club
Libra
You’ve been hurting lately, but opening up and actually seeking help was the right move. Healing isn't instant, but the pain is going to dull down to a manageable hum real soon. Keep being honest with yourself, and let the people who care about you help carry the weight.
School Club You'd Join: Jump Jam
