Capricorn
With exams around the corner, your anxiety has been running high. Although patronising to hear, try to take a minute and actually breathe. Pinky promise that it’ll be easy to remember the things you're trying to shove into your mushy brain if you’re a bit calmer.
Your phobia: Peniaphobia (being broke lol)
Libra
All the roads are beginning to frost over, and you're wrangling your ratty puffer jacket out on a daily basis. Your power bill may make you feel like a double decker bus has hit you, but it'll be worth it to avoid a cough you can't shake off for the rest of the year.
Your phobia: Moral scrupulosity (lying)
Scorpio
Someone’s forgotten to take their chill pill! Your furious spirit has often landed you in a bit of a pickle, but if you don't mellow out, you're going to make being in said pickle look like a walk in the park. Sort it out before you land yourself a semi-permanent stay in the dog house.
Your phobia: Ornithoscelidaphobia (dinosaurs)
Aquarius
Your hunger strike has been going on long enough – binge watching muckbangs in place of cooking is just getting depressing. We all know groceries are expensive, but try moving some of the weekly energy drink budget into something that will actually nourish you.
Your phobia: Koumpounophobia (buttons)
Taurus
Someone from your past may try contact you again – and it’s lowkey your fault! Why didn't you block them when you had the chance? Please remember why they’re in your past and not your future, and delete the pic of them on your feed – you’re leaving a door open.
Your phobia: Androphobia (MEN!)
Gemini
This week you will embarrass yourself to a seismic level – whether it's falling down the stairs in Central, or pulling on a push door. Try to play it cool like the main character from a 2000’s rom com – there’s never been a better time to try being more nonchalant.
Your phobia: Carnophobia (eating meat)
Leo
You've been romanticising things for far too long, and all your friends are well aware. It gets to a point where this kinda shit isn't cutesy anymore and your actions are just plain wrong. Please, for the love of god, find your limit – AND STICK TO IT!
Your phobia: Papophobia (The Pope)
Virgo
The echoes of a past decision haunt your dreams to this day. My advice is that you may never know whether you did the right thing, but it's important to let things go. Free up the mental load of your past decisions and put it towards studying instead.
Your phobia: Tubariphobia (pickles)
Pisces
Usually you thrive on gossip, but this particular pot of tea isn't to your taste. The amount of grey hairs the gossip train has caused should be criminal. I am prescribing you at least 48 hours of gossip free time. It's okay to feel lonely, but also normal to sit in occasional silence.
Your phobia: Astrophobia (space)
Aries
You've recently been on a winning streak. Although it’s tempting to try to take on the world, be sure not to try your luck too often – it might just run out. No one wants to be 10k in debt because you tried to be a finance bro and invest in a new startup you heard about on Reddit.
Your phobia: Athazagoraphobia (being forgotten or ignored)
Cancer
You've been putting things off for too long – procrastination wasn't meant to become as normalised as it has. Try starting slow and just hacking away at the pile of assignments. The more you work at it, the better it'll become. The stars told me! But time is ticking.
Your phobia: Nifaliophobia (being sober)
Sagittarius
It may be time for a painfully honest reflection into your inner psyche. People tend to take your words seriously so think before you speak! This will help keep you from saying something you regret forever.
Your phobia: Phobophobia (phobias)
