If you've found yourself chain smoking outside Woof! or neck deep in an americano at Yours, you may have spotted a slim, lipstick-red booklet amongst the anarchist clutter. No, it's not Mao’s Little Red Book, but it has just as much revolutionary energy. It’s Bussy Galore: Winston Peters’ Self-discovery scandal, written by an author known only as Dirty Talk.
The obvious question from any boomer or stray NZ first voter might be: What is a bussy? While Urban Dictionary will tell you it’s “a gay term used for a man's anus”, that definition barely scratches the surface of what Bussy Galore is.
Dirty Talk (also known as DT) is a pseudonymous writer with a passion for salacious content. With a background in editing for other zine-type works, DT describes their work as “political smut [...] it isn’t a very big genre”. We didn't ask for this, but we’re so glad we got it.
On the surface, Bussy Galore is a piece of erotic political fanfiction. Dig a little deeper and you'll find a scandalous satire, and a queer reimagining of politics, all about a deeply weird dinosaur age artefact, Winston Peters. The NZ First leader is often referred to as “the kingmaker” in New Zealand, however here that title is given to Winstons willy. “It's important that in the story, he starts jerking off to gay porn. But then by the end of it, he's kind of jerking off to his own political success,” DT explains.
Asked what sparked the inspiration to make this happen, DT reveals, “I was having some beers with some friends and I whipped out my typewriter and just wrote the whole first draft right there and then.” And yes, DT really did send copies to Winston Peters’ home address. “I think it's saying that if it doesn't make a big bang, at least I'd like it to kind of slowly haunt Mr Peters throughout his life,” DT says with a smirk. And haunt it might: “I did get an ISBN for it, and it's in the National Library. So it's kind of part of the permanent record of New Zealand literature, I guess.”
The zine also features an original illustration by Critic Te Ārohi’s very own Ash McFarlane, who was commissioned to depict Winston Peters in the midst of a salacious act. “It’s the weirdest thing I’ve been asked to draw,” Ash admits. “But once DT gave me a little Sharpie sketch, I just ran with it.” The final image – Winston sitting in his office, jerking off to gay porn, as a portrait of himself smiles down on him – perfectly captures the tone of the story.
Looking ahead, DT is planning a follow-up zine, this time a collection of interviews exploring sexual encounters with police and military personnel. It’s all part of what Dirty Talk is becoming: a pen name, a publishing plant, and a platform for others to share. “I can’t create fast enough to meet my desire to publish,” DT says. “So now I’m just talking to people, seeing if they want to contribute. I want it to be a collaborative, community thing.”
Ōteopoti has long been a place where the independent arts flourish on the fringe, and this work reminds us that in the tense societal and political times, a captivating commentary can come in the least expected forms. Bussy Galore is available at Woof! and Yours (most of the time). But honestly, if you're meant to read it, it will find you.