Archive

We’re All Friendless Losers

Posted 11:45am Sunday 6th September 2026 by Saraia Allais

Every morning I wake up and check in on my friends.  One’s in New York making a protein smoothie. Another's in LA getting her biweekly spray tan. A third is in London telling me how their ex traumatized them. None of these people know who I am.  I’m spending my time Read more...

The Brunch Theory

Posted 11:26am Sunday 6th September 2026 by Imogen Perry

Relationships are out. Brunch is in. Everyone knows it. But what about those brave soldiers trapped somewhere in the in-between, balancing the orgasmic elation of overpriced breakfast foods, with the heavy burden of commitment, co-dependence and having regular sex with the same person? Don’t Read more...

5 Thing I Think the Man Had a Hand In

Posted 1:19pm Sunday 23rd August 2026 by Saraia Allais

For legal purposes, I reject the term “conspiracy theorist”. It makes people think about ol’ Uncle Jack sitting on his front porch in a tinfoil hat with a rifle across his lap. That’s not me. I am a well-educated, highly suspicious, and arguably brave Read more...

Home

Posted 11:32am Sunday 23rd August 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

I have spent five years ruminating on the idea of home. On where it is, what it is, and what it means to me, and to those around me. I was lucky. I grew up in a happy family who lived in the same house from when I was six months old until I left for uni, so I had never really needed to question Read more...

Red Card Inspo

Posted 9:58am Sunday 16th August 2026 by Stella Weston

This one is specifically for the 26.1% of the 2026 Critic Census respondents who, when asked if they’d participated in a red card in the last year, responded “What’s a red card?”  Disgusting.  The red card is a cornerstone of the mythical institution that is Read more...

How To De-AI-ify Your Life

Posted 9:53am Sunday 16th August 2026 by Hanna Varrs

AI tools are pretty much everywhere, and Big Tech has done a stellar job in normalising their incorporation into just about every digital product we use.  What I will say is that I am not anti-AI in any blanket statement sense. I do believe that there are applications of AI that will do Read more...

Which Shrek Character Are You?

Posted 3:44pm Saturday 8th August 2026 by Saraia Allais

With Shrek 5’s teaser trailer finally out, it was only a matter of time before Critic Te Ārohi asked the important questions. Are you an emotionally stunted ogre? A professional yapper? Or just Lord Farquaad with a student loan? There's only one way to find out.  1. Read more...

Potion Recipes

Posted 3:36pm Saturday 8th August 2026 by Stella Weston

Sometimes no amount of logical thinking, communication, or personal growth can save you. Sometimes you need something a bit stronger: a little divine intervention, a sprinkle of fairy dust, and true manifestation. After years of research (and several misfortunate magical accidents), Critic Te Read more...

We Cursed the ODT Via Etsy Witch

Posted 3:34pm Saturday 8th August 2026 by Critic

There comes a point in every publication's life where conventional dispute resolution has run its course. In Critic Te Ārohi’s case, it happened one hundred and one years in. You can write a letter to the editor. You can request a correction. You can complain privately in the Read more...

40 Ways to Start a Conversation

Posted 11:27am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

As many of you will have experienced recently, tutorials have just started back up. And with the return of tuts comes one of university’s most painful traditions: the dreaded ice breaker. It always starts the same way. “Tell us your name, where you’re from, and what you did over Read more...