Which Uni Building Are You?

Which Uni Building Are You?

1. How old are you? 

a.             A literal baby (1)

b.             A teenager (2)

c.             Early 20s (3)

d.             A Mature Student (4)

e.             142 years old (5)


2. How popular are you? 

a.             I think everyone is a little jealous of me (1)

b.             All my friends are freshers (2)       

c.             So goddamn popular, you have no idea (3)

d.             I come off as stand-offish, but have some very loyal friends (4)

e.             I’m always the centre of attention, but no-one actually comes to visit (5)

3. What TV show fits your aesthetic? 

a.             Phineas and Ferb (1) 

b.             Grey’s Anatomy (2)

c.              Twin Peaks (3)

d.              Chernobyl (4)

e.              Bridgerton (5)

4. Favourite part of a sausage sizzle? 

a.              The mustard (1)

b.             The tomato sauce (2)

c.               The sausage (3)

d.              The onions (4)

e.              The bread (5)

5. Favourite music microgenre? 

a.             Simpsonwave (1)

b.             Kawai-core (2)

c.              Hyperpop (3)

d.              lowercase (4)

e.              Bardcore (5)

6. How should Game of Thrones have ended? 

a.              The ending was fine the way it was (1)

b.             Jon Snow should have ruled Westeros (2)

c.              I stopped watching after season 3 (3)

d.              I don’t care (4)

e.              I literally don’t care (5)

7. What kind of Puffle did you have on Club Penguin? 

a.             The stegosaurus one (1)

b.             The rainbow one (2)

c.              The green one (3)

d.              The white one (4)

e.              Wtf is Club Penguin? (5)

8. What are you addicted to? 

a.             Clout (1)

b.             Looking like you study (2)

c.             Iced Coffee (3)

d.             Your originality complex (4)

e.             Sex (nice) (5)


Your Uni Building:

8 - 18: Otago Business School 

Yes it’s the fancy new kid on the block, but it also looks exactly like Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated™. You’re probably there because you’re doing a BCom, or just for the good wifi and seats. Either way, you’re not actually studying.

19 - 23: St David Lecture Complex

No one is jealous when you brag about how late you stay up studying. Campus Watch knows you by name, and it’s not a good thing. Your friends are getting worried. Please, eat a vegetable.

24 - 26: Central Library

You’re basic, through and through. That’s okay though, you know what you like. And what you like is exactly what thousands of other students like. There’s a reason for that though. Central is big. Central is warm. Central is spacious. Central has a sandwich shop, a snack shop, and soon enough a bubble tea shop too. What’s not to love? Maybe try venturing out of your comfort zone every once in a while though. I hear the Robertson Library is cool.

27 - 32: Richardson Building

Oh you’re a bit edgy are you? Either that or you’re a law student. But if you’re not a law student, then you’re a connoisseur of style and you don’t mind being drab so long as you’re different. The towering brutalism of Richardson is polarising, and you love the controversy. You must also love heights. Or hate heights, but hate yourself ever-so-slightly more. 

33 - 40: Clocktower

Ugh we get it, you’re beautiful. You catch everyone’s eyes as they walk past, and that’s why you’re the Clocktower. But would you ever study in the Clocktower? I didn’t think so. You’re iconic and everybody knows who you are, but does anybody really know you?

This article first appeared in Issue 3, 2021.
Posted 1:29pm Sunday 14th March 2021 by Elliot Weir.