The Critic Mid-Sem Haiku Competition

The Critic Mid-Sem Haiku Competition

Nothing screams Easter like a haiku competition. We asked you to send in haikus and you did, in moderate numbers, so thanks. While only the top 20 could be published and only the top 5 get tote bags, we were in equal parts inspired and depressed by all of them. If you wrote one of the poems in the top 5, email or message our Facebook to claim your tote bag.


You sent us haikus

We laughed, counted syllables

Art is beautiful

-     Critic Te Arohi


Top 20


I shit my pants on 

Castle street I regret it 

drugs can suck my nuts

  • A participant of sex


winter draws near now

time to stop buying long whites

here come the long nights

  • Oscar


Health scis in the lib

Body parts on MacBook screens

When will their dreams die?

  • Sean


Drinking all break long

get my school shit done in time?

Not a fucking chance

  • Jesse





  • Nicholas


Friend request from Kate-

Invite to join Sign-Up Club.

Unfriend. Fuck off Kate.

  • Ben


My flatmates never

Change the toilet paper roll

I want to change flats

  • Briar


I run up and down

Flights of stairs in Richardson, 

Because lifts scare me.

  • Lauren


The UberEats guy,

On my front doorstep again.

(I just love dumplings)

  • Lauren


Sexy rubber shoes

Good for sleeping or standing

Have sex in your crocs

  • Ku


I wrote a haiku

I wrote it for the Critic

They did not like it

  • Dave


In my flat alone

I will study for mid terms

Oops I am now drunk

  • Matt


Bless that one student

Asking dumb questions again,

So we don’t have to.

  • Lauren


To the bestest Bills

Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack 

Spread the love my dudes

  • Karna


Goon mixed with a sprite

A cheap way to get wasted

Dollar per standard

  • John




My flat loves hummus 

We have a big wall of lids

There are thirty lids

  • Avery


Write your wanton words

A harsh critic tells the truth;

Mullets are not hot

  • Phoebe


There is nothing like 

A Crown, for picking it up

And putting it down

  • Liam


It's so long and hard

And I'm about to get fucked

Essay due midnight

  • Romy


Richardson Building

Comfortingly robust frame

Cold concrete tower

  • Simon
This article first appeared in Issue 6, 2021.
Posted 12:30am Sunday 11th April 2021 by Critic.