Sexual Awakenings and The On-Screen Characters That Inspired Them

Posted 5:25pm Sunday 25th July 2021

Embarrassing to some, enlightening to many, the moment of sexual awakening is an almost universal experience. For many of us, our first crush was from a show or a film, and often defied logic in every way. Some people were turned on by turtles. Some by women old enough to be their mum. Critic Read more...

No Fines for Lawn Litter

Posted 3:23pm Sunday 25th July 2021

A proposed change to the Code of Conduct would have made it possible for the Uni to fine you for having a littered front lawn. The University didn’t go through with that change after receiving negative feedback from students, releasing their response on 10 July. Ultimately, the University Read more...

No Backpay for Offshore PhD Students

Posted 3:19pm Sunday 25th July 2021

Remote PhD students will not be receiving a stipend from the University, even with a scholarship. 89 students have commenced their PhD at Otago remotely since the pandemic began. 13 have managed to enter New Zealand, and only seven of those students will be receiving a monthly stipend, according Read more...

Otago Students Apparently Doing Great

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 18th July 2021

Otago Uni topped the charts in three of four “key indicators” of success at New Zealand universities, according to the annual ranking published by the Tertiary Education Commission. We had the best rates of qualification completion, first year retention, and progression.  People Read more...

What’s (Still) Wrong with Freshers?

Posted 2:37pm Sunday 18th July 2021

Six months ago, we asked O-Week freshers what the biggest problem in their life was. Most of them said that their biggest problems were making friends, missing family, or other social issues. Critic hit up the line outside Union Hall on 14 July to check back in, and see if anything had changed. One Read more...

No Arrests After Rugby

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 18th July 2021

Nobody was arrested at the stadium following the All Blacks vs Fiji game on Saturday, 10 July. Great job, everyone. There were still some dickheads, though. A statement from the Police said that “several people” had to be removed from the stadium by staff or officers for “poor Read more...

The Exec Did Stuff and Wrote About It, Now Read About Us Reading About It

Posted 11:00am Tuesday 13th July 2021

Nobody set the minimum page count of the Exec’s second quarterly reports of 2021 at seven pages, but they chose to write that much, anyway. We read through all of them to let you know who’s doing what. Points were given exclusively for brevity, because that’s the only thing we can Read more...

The Royal Treatment

Posted 1:33am Monday 31st May 2021

Critic Te Arohi offered to treat two lucky flats like the British Royal Family. Instead of providing them with billions in inherited wealth and a sense of ownership over entire countries, we followed them like paparazzi for a few days and made wild and problematically intrusive speculations about Read more...

No Redemption for Sunk Pong Star

Posted 7:33pm Sunday 30th May 2021

Once on top of the world, beer pong star Barry BonGlover has had quite the fall from grace. Ever since a manicure-gone-wrong rendered both of his hands useless, Barry has gone through alcoholism, jail, and divorce. And we were there for all of it! Let’s take a look back at some of his greatest Read more...

“Our Marriage Was A Sham!”: BOMBSHELL interview reveals SHOCKING details of Bill and Bill’s messy divorce

Posted 5:24pm Sunday 30th May 2021

The Bills have divorced, Critic Te Arohi can reveal. When first contacted for comment, Bill insisted the divorce was amicable, but a later interview shows that the truth is far more complicated. We sat both ducks down for an exclusive tell-all interview. Shit hit the fan, and the truth finally came Read more...

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