Archive

Harlene Hayne's Salary

Posted 12:57am Friday 26th July 2019 by Critic

1. 196,969 x 5 pack noodles 2. 2167 ounces of marijuana 3. 20,312 boxes of Billy Mavs 4. 4,333,333 minutes on a Lime scooter 5. 325,000 McDonalds cheeseburgers 6. 503,875 Bic pens 7. 34,228 boxes of Durex classic condoms 8. 520,000 boxes of Space Man Candy Sticks 9. 144,444 Read more...

Pretty Fly For A WiFi

Posted 6:05pm Thursday 25th July 2019 by Sinead Gill

It’s that time of the year where your landlord (while simultaneously ignoring your texts about the broken freezer and mould) asks you if you want to sign on for 2020. But how do you know if you should stay in your shithole flat, or risk it all for greener pastures? Surely not with this guide. Read more...

Critic Reviews More Drum and Bass

Posted 3:25am Friday 19th July 2019 by Alex MacKygee

Sachi (NZ) 10 July, Union Hall Sachi, named for that noise where you try and say ‘sup’ but end up sneezing, are an Auckland-based duo who have mastered melding groovy synth melodies with upbeat vocals. Possibly not the right concert for someone as old as me, which was a feeling Read more...

Students to Watch: Meg Goodman

Posted 1:53am Friday 19th July 2019 by Wyatt Ryder

Meg Goodman started baking around the same time she started to walk. In high school she was nicknamed ‘Cake Girl’, and she had queues of people eager for birthday cakes. Now she’s started her own business where she can put her skills towards good causes. Goodman Goodies has Read more...

A Meaningful Interview With Meaningful Confessions

Posted 11:34pm Thursday 11th July 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

“What does my super religious girlfriend and medicine have in common? I don't think I'll ever get in either of them,” is one of the latest confessions received by UoO: Meaningful Confessions. With over 17,000 likes on Facebook, the page was set up for students to anonymously Read more...

Students to Watch: Laura Anderson

Posted 11:30pm Thursday 11th July 2019 by Caroline Moratti

Laura Anderson found her passion in the most unusual of places, a university paper. While most of us slouch in the back of lectures on Facebook, or are even lucky if we attend the damn thing in the first place, Laura was busy listening and learning. Her 200-level politics paper about political Read more...

Students to Watch: Jess Thompson

Posted 11:39pm Thursday 4th July 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

“What’s in the blood? What’s in a name? A whenua split for Pākehā gain, a bone or a skull for museums to claim, continue to sing past abuse and the blame, we have to create to stay sane,” the Māori Mermaid sings. Jessica Thompson is an English and Art History Read more...

Which Dunedin Student Archetype Are You?

Posted 11:21pm Thursday 4th July 2019 by Critic

Breatha Probably called Josh, Luke or Tom A feen for the sesh Has four true loves: gear, D&B, piss, and the boys. Doesn’t fear God   ‘Alty’ Owns at least one pair of Nom*D socks Spotted at either Kiki Beware, Aika, or RdC “What gigs are on Read more...

Bespoke Quotes from Soaked Oats

Posted 11:19pm Thursday 4th July 2019 by Fox Meyer

When Oscar was a kid, he bumped ‘90s hip-hop. He ran on the sidewalks of St. Albans in Christchurch. Now, he’s in a band with three of his mates. You might’ve heard of them - Soaked Oats. Soaked Oats are the brains behind songs like “Avocado Aficionado” and Read more...

I Fucked a Fleshlight and it Was the Most Depressing 34 Minutes of My Life

Posted 6:25pm Thursday 13th June 2019 by Critic

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not out here trying to act like I’m some stud. A cute girl looks at my dick and it’ll go off like Mentos in a Coke bottle. But damn… this Fleshlight is. Not. The. Move. I’m a tried and true five finger veteran (at least 10 years of Read more...

A conversation with Tracey Crampton Smith, Otago’s Pagan chaplain

Posted 11:34pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Erin Gourley

Organised religion is fine, but you have to admit it’s clingy. There’s a lot of reading, a church with real walls (as opposed to a circle of salt on the ground), and convoluted hierarchies of people who tell you what to think. In contrast, Tracey Crampton Smith is the Read more...

Students to Watch | Aidan Barbour-Ryan

Posted 8:45pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Nina Minogue

In June last year, Aidan Barbour-Ryan set himself a personal challenge to run every day for a year. One month in, the 21-year-old marketing student decided that his challenge could benefit more people than just himself. Aidan decided that he would raise money to increase mental health and suicide Read more...

A Satanic Solution

Posted 7:16pm Thursday 23rd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

Click here for the mystery   “Chad, you son of a bitch!” you yell. “You said your vape had melon flavor, didn’t you? You worship the Great Melon King!” “Yeah that’s right, loser,” says Chad. “Melon’s my favorite flavor Read more...

Fish and Chips and Feminism with Clementine Ford

Posted 11:41pm Thursday 16th May 2019 by Erin Gourley

Clementine Ford is cool. During our Sunday afternoon interview, the feminist writer ordered fish and chips, gave me all of the chips, and offered me wine twice.  We launch right into rape culture on university campuses. “It’s always existed and people will try as hard as they can Read more...

Students to Watch | Adam Currie

Posted 11:40pm Thursday 16th May 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Creating change and empowering others to do the same has been a key theme in Adam Currie’s life. Growing up in Nelson passionate about environmental issues, Adam moved to Dunedin for university. While also studying a mixture of politics and art, he is busy working as the co-convenor for Read more...

Flameboi: the Legend, the Lie

Posted 11:36pm Thursday 16th May 2019 by Nina Minogue

Hailed as New Zealander of the Year by Critic Booze Reviews, Flameboi rose to fame through spending $1,000 of his course-related costs on Flame beer. I caught up with the man, the myth, the legend himself, only to discover that his story was in fact an elaborate ploy. A Flameploi by Flameboi, if you Read more...

Dusty Dunedin Delicacies: Critic’s Guide to Hangover Food

Posted 11:34pm Thursday 16th May 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Saturday night was wild. Kick ons went hard, but your mate’s party went harder. The night was fuzzy, but judging by the amount of seedy “up2 x” messages you sent and lack of cards in your wallet – it must’ve been a good night. You wake up on Sunday with a light amount Read more...

Critic Reviews Drum and Bass Gigs That Are Yet to Happen

Posted 1:27am Friday 10th May 2019 by Alex MacKygee

Christchurch and Dunedin have two intense rivalries dominated by sweaty men: that sports one, and then the one for the title of New Zealand’s Drum and Bass Capital. While nothing will quite match the vibe from hooning down the Four Avenues at 130kph (as I pour one out for FUSION Car Audio), Read more...

Students to Watch – Andrew Rudolph

Posted 12:29am Friday 10th May 2019 by Sinead Gill

Andrew Rudolph has done a lot in his time. After working in hospitality, banking, radio and human resources, he is now a third year Social Work student here at Otago. Alongside his studies, Andrew is also the secretary of the Dunedin Multi-Ethnic Council, the treasurer of Students Against Sexual Read more...

Can we all just admit that the Selwyn Ballet sucks?

Posted 8:51pm Thursday 9th May 2019 by Joel MacManus

At the 2019 Capping Show, the Selwyn Ballet will take to the stage for its 91st year. This year’s troupe got a warm-up on a big stage, performing for Forsyth Barr Stadium at the Highlanders game last week. The Selwyn Ballet is a large group of first year boys wearing tutus and excessive Read more...

Whatever Happened to Dane Rumble?

Posted 8:47pm Thursday 9th May 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

It’s May, which means it is officially New Zealand Music Month. New Zealand and the creative field of music go together like a bottle of Cleanskin and a BYO at India Gardens – terrifically. We have seen so many great musicians and bands come out of New Zealand who have shaped the Read more...

Students to Watch: Taylor Rose Terekia

Posted 10:09pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

While Taylor-Rose Terekia is working hard to become the next Taika Waititi studying Indigenous Development, Film and Media Studies, and Marketing, she is also Tumuaki (President) of Te Roopū Maori. Her role involves providing support and community for Māori students at Otago, “in a Read more...

Michael Rose: Life in Biro

Posted 9:53pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Art has always been something Michael Rose has been drawn to, but he has recently found his niche in embroidery and pen illustration. “I enjoy the intricacies of these mediums, and the control that I am able to achieve with them. Control over my medium is particularly important to me as I have Read more...

Going Hard: The Rowing Club’s Paralympian Programme

Posted 7:09pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Oscar Francis

Down at the waterfront, where the University Rowing Club has monopolised the OUSA aquatic centre, every Monday evening an elite group of athletes push themselves to their limits and go beyond. “Special Olympics are more about doing it, rather than the result,” Glen, the manager of the Read more...

Superfly Superspy - The Conclusion

Posted 7:07pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

Return to Superfly Superspy     “Lovestorm!” you yell, “this mission was top secret, but you said you knew I was ‘messing around with some Yakuza’. You betrayed me!” “Sorry, baby doll,” says Lovestorm, smirking. They slap a Read more...

Superfly Superspy

Posted 7:06pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Owen Clarke

Tokyo. 2019. Three men in suits sit around a wooden table in the dimly lit room. Lamplight reflects off the velvet curtains and the tattoos spidering up each man’s neck. They grin at each other, whispering evil things and just being bad guys in general. Each are clan leaders in the Yakuza, Read more...

The Best Places to Cry Around Uni: A Critic Investigation

Posted 6:50pm Thursday 2nd May 2019 by Phillip Plant

Those of you who know me, and that’s hardly anyone, will know that I am a master of rating things. As a serious investigative journalist, I have tirelessly devoted the past fortnight to unravelling the mysteries of crying places, otherwise known as “wet spots”. Also, I had a whole Read more...

Scarfie Flats of Dunedin with Sarah Gallagher

Posted 9:46pm Thursday 25th April 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Flatting while studying is one of the most important parts of student life and flat names are a big part of Dunedin flatting culture. Near campus, there is an abundance of named flats, each with their own history. From Pink Flat The Door on Clyde Street, to Legendairy on Duke Street, each named flat Read more...

Students to Watch | James Heath

Posted 9:43pm Thursday 25th April 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

You may have seen his iconic black puffer jacket around campus, or his face on some election still in the Richardson building, but who is James Heath? Is he the vigilante hero we all need? Or is he secretly the admin behind UoO: Meaningful Confessions? Surprise! James is actually the President of Read more...

Thank You For Not Smoking: University of Otago Inspired Vape Flavours

Posted 9:23pm Thursday 25th April 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

We’re back with yet another vape article. Honestly, vaping is my favourite past time at the moment. When I was an avid smoker I thought I’d never be caught dead ripping a phat vape. But I’ve seen the light of day; now you’ll never catch me without my Smok Novo in hand. Vaping Read more...

Pole Dancing: Like Dancing, but on a Pole

Posted 9:14pm Thursday 25th April 2019 by Sophia Carter Peters

When I think ‘pole dancing’, I think a combination of  ‘strip club’ and those insane videos from ‘Somewhere’s Got Talent’, that defy the laws of gravity and human flexibility. What I ended up experiencing was somewhere in that spectrum, but also Read more...

Straight Out the Oven Cooked: King REX

Posted 9:09pm Thursday 25th April 2019 by Oscar Francis

The first time I saw King REX play live was at Inch Bar. The thing about Inch Bar is that I haven’t been to many good gigs there. Most of my memories of the venue are of sitting around, bored out of my mind, as greying men pluck away at ukuleles haphazardly and beat congas halfheartedly. King Read more...

Māori Meets Metal: Alien Weaponry

Posted 1:23am Friday 12th April 2019 by Sophia Carter Peters

The D&B that usually fills the Octagon is infiltrated by the intense throbbing of heavy metal as Alien Weaponry begin their set at 50 Gorillas. The seemingly flimsy double doors give way to a wave of deafening drums, intense riffs and language-swapping vocals. Packed to the rafters, Read more...

Students to Watch | Tanya Findlater: Thursdays in Black

Posted 6:06pm Thursday 11th April 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

CW: Sexual assault     Tanya Findlater is a Willowbank loving, third year Media Film and Communications student here at Otago. Aside from her studies, Tanya is also the head of Thursdays In Black at Otago, as well as a board member for Dunedin Pride. For Tanya, community Read more...

Which Degree has the Most Big Dick Energy?

Posted 6:01pm Thursday 11th April 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Let’s make this clear; no degree is better than another because they’re all shit. However, some do tend to have more Bick Dick Energy than others. So what is Big Dick Energy? Many people have tried to find a definition for this ambiguous term but, for most, it simply means the Read more...

Students to Watch | Zoë Hayes and Anna Hendry – Rape Crisis

Posted 2:13am Friday 5th April 2019 by Oscar Francis

Zoë Hayes and Anna Hendry both wear a lot of hats. They both maintain a busy workload as they work towards their respective Masters degrees. They also work at Rape Crisis. Anna’s role is that of financial administrator. She’s studying full time towards her Master in Applied Read more...

Queers Do It Better: What We Can All Learn From Gay Sex

Posted 9:05pm Thursday 4th April 2019 by Anonymous

It's easy to think that being queer is all tragedy all the time, but it has upsides too. Being free from mainstream expectations around sex has made my life a whole lot better — and even if you're straight, it can help yours too. As a bisexual trans man, I've been pretty damn Read more...

Endo is My Safe Word: Having Sex With Endometriosis

Posted 9:00pm Thursday 4th April 2019 by Katie Plant

I didn’t expect that I’d be writing this directly after being excellently shagged by my incredible partner; thankfully I didn’t have to use my safe word. See, I have a problem. I love fucking my partner, and he loves fucking me, but my endometriosis loves fucking me over. While Read more...

Are You In A Relationship?

Posted 8:54pm Thursday 4th April 2019 by

Have you slept with them? In my dreams (1) Once or twice (2) A few times but wouldn’t say often (3) At least twice a week (4)   Do you stay the night? Definitely not - that’s a no go (1) Sometimes after a night on the piss (2) Most times but I leave Read more...

A Shitfest On Wheels: I Went For A Ride On On Te Roopū Māori’s Party Bus

Posted 11:40pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Tukukino Royal

Soon the days of being acceptably trashed on a bus will be gone. According to my shit sources (Whatu and Zaine), these shitfests on wheels may be served the same fate as law camp. For years Te Roopū Māori (TRM, the Māori Students’ Association) have been running their bus trips Read more...

Students to Watch: Emily and Sophie Martin (AKA the Tasty.Twinsss)

Posted 11:36pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Emily and Sophie Martin are two third year students at Otago. However, most people know them best as popular food Instagrammers Tasty.Twinsss. In their first year of Uni, Emily and Sophie created an Instagram account to share their love of food and places to eat around Dunedin. Now with 7,000 Read more...

Milpool

Posted 9:41pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Have you ever wondered what it would sound like if Kate Bush covered Modest Mouse in a semi-ironic emo way? That is how the Dunedin band Milpool best describes their sound. Comprised of Adelaide Dunn on vocals, Tom Monaghan on guitar, Josh Howley on bass and Hamish Morgan on drums, Milpool has been Read more...

Ko Roimata, ko Hūpē ngā kaiutu i ngā patu a Aituā

Posted 9:38pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Tama Tū

Kua heke iho a Roimata rāua ko Hūpē, kātahi ka puawai te aroha ki runga i te whenua nei. Ehara i te mea, he māmā noa te wiki kua pāhure mai nei. E tohaina ana āna kino, āna hūngeingei, āna mauāhara e Hātana i waenganui i te hunga ora. Read more...

Ketamine

Posted 9:37pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Anonymous

Ketamine, You are a friend. A somewhat confusing friend. Your effect brings me everything and nothing, both the riddle and the answer for every question I never asked. You are different every time and every line, but in all these differences I find one similarity. The feeling I was searching Read more...

Too Ruff Too Tuff: Dunedin’s Bootleg Toy Maker

Posted 9:35pm Thursday 28th March 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

Abram Hunter has always been drawn to sci-fi and fantasy, and has been a collector of toys and action figures his whole life. But being a collector while studying is no cheap thrill, given the amount of money that figures can cost. He was at a crossroads. “Do I want to be one of those dudes Read more...

Towel Folding Tutorial: Penis

Posted 1:22am Friday 22nd March 2019 by Nina Minogue

If you rate your rolling ability, have started watching Marie Kondo on Netflix or just want to try something new, then I highly recommend you try towel folding. Through my extensive research, I’ve found towel folding a great way to relax, an excellent flat bonding activity and an impressive Read more...

Students to Watch | Cameron Jardell

Posted 6:55pm Thursday 14th March 2019 by Owen Clarke

Like most students at uni, Otago third year Cameron Jardell admits he just loves “getting high”. But Cameron isn’t taking bong rips out in the back room of his flat while eating nachos and playing Fortnite. He’s climbing mountains (though he might also be taking some major Read more...

The Top 10 WatchMojo Top 10 Videos

Posted 6:41pm Thursday 14th March 2019 by Henessey Griffiths

I have a confession to make. I watch at least one WatchMojo video every day. WatchMojo, a YouTube channel with over 20 million subscribers, is the pinnacle of shitty clickbait. Their videos focus on aspects of popular culture and analyse them through top 10 countdown lists. Their videos are Read more...

Pike ake, kake ake ki Te Māhia e!

Posted 6:37pm Thursday 14th March 2019 by Tama Tū

(brackets are Māori translations)     My head and body break the cloudy surface. A fear of drowning brings me up quickly. Blurred vision, and a salty gasp of air. I dive and I dive. Something erupts inside me and I roar triumphant! Flesh is goosebumped and muscle is defined Read more...

Best Study Cafes Around Here

Posted 6:14pm Thursday 7th March 2019 by Florence Dean

Sometimes when you’re studying, the concrete jungle called “central library” just doesn’t cut it. I don’t know about you, but I can’t study without noise. I’m not talking about people talking obnoxiously loudly (I’m looking at you second years on the Read more...