Are You In A Relationship?

Are You In A Relationship?

Have you slept with them?

  1. In my dreams (1)
  2. Once or twice (2)
  3. A few times but wouldn’t say often (3)
  4. At least twice a week (4)


Do you stay the night?

  1. Definitely not - that’s a no go (1)
  2. Sometimes after a night on the piss (2)
  3. Most times but I leave before noon (3)
  4. Hell yeah, I’d leave at 3pm if I wanted (4)


Are cuddles a thing between you two?

  1. Only after sex (1)
  2. If I’m in the mood (2)
  3. All the bloody time (3)
  4. Hell yeah, we cuddle in public too (4)


Would you hang out with them in public?

  1. Definitely not (1)
  2. I try not to (2)
  3. Here and there (3)
  4. Yeah we’re comfortable (4)


How often would you chat on FB?

  1. Only an up2 (1)
  2. Possibly but mainly to organise our dates (2)
  3. Always, gotta lay the groundwork (3)
  4. Yeah, constant updates (4)


Would you get with anyone else at the same time?

  1. 100% will (1)
  2. Not sure we haven’t talked about it (2)
  3. Most definitely NOT (3)
  4. I don’t want to (4)


If you were with them and you bumped into an old friend, how would you introduce them?

  1. “Uh this is” pause awkward look before just saying their name (1)
  2. “This is my mate …” (2)
  3. “This is my boy/girl friend” (4)



Fuck Buddies

Score: 7-9

Straight up no one has feelings right now. If you do, run. Or have the talk.


Friends with Benefits

Score: 10-14

Just two old mates getting together. If you like them more than a friend, have the talk. If you’ve been in this situation for longer than a month or so, you’re fucked; they are not interested in a relationship.



Score: 15-17

You two haven’t quite figured it out yet but at least one of you has feelings for the other. Be bold and make a move.


Seeing Each Other

Score: 18-21

Definitely exclusive. Do not sleep with someone else; you will break their heart.



Score: 22-27

You’re locked in for the long haul. Good luck to you and your lover. Remember me on your wedding day.

This article first appeared in Issue 7, 2019.
Posted 8:54pm Thursday 4th April 2019 by Caitlin Barlow-Groome and Norhan El Sanjak.