I Sat in the Library and Reviewed Some Textbooks for Fun on a Friday Night

Posted 10:50pm Thursday 16th May 2019

There’s not a whole lot of positive shit I can say about academic textbooks. They’re heavy, boring, and smell like an old folks home. That said, I did enjoy wanking to page 44 of our Biology textbook back in Year 7 and Year 8, and maybe a few times in Year 9. Aside from that, and the Read more...

Saving Private Quackers: Otago DebSocís Multi-Day Search and Rescue Operation to Save an Injured Duck

Posted 9:13pm Thursday 9th May 2019

Say you’re a duck, right? Say you’re a duck, and your leg is busted up. Classic. Probably got into a fight with an evil goose gang while trying to defend some helpless babies or something. Either way, on most University campuses, you’d probably be out of luck. But not at Otago, Read more...

The University is Selling Your Email Account to Evil Corporations That Are Trying to Steal Your Soul and Turn You Into a Corporate Drone

Posted 10:06pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

Over the course of the year, you may have received emails on your Otago student email account advertising for various postgraduate jobs and entry-level positional vacancies. Or maybe you haven’t, which probably means your degree (like mine, Interpretive Pole Dancing) is so useless that no Read more...

Superfly Superspy - The Conclusion

Posted 7:07pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

Return to Superfly Superspy     “Lovestorm!” you yell, “this mission was top secret, but you said you knew I was ‘messing around with some Yakuza’. You betrayed me!” “Sorry, baby doll,” says Lovestorm, smirking. They slap a Read more...

Superfly Superspy

Posted 7:06pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

Tokyo. 2019. Three men in suits sit around a wooden table in the dimly lit room. Lamplight reflects off the velvet curtains and the tattoos spidering up each man’s neck. They grin at each other, whispering evil things and just being bad guys in general. Each are clan leaders in the Yakuza, Read more...

Critic Goes to Hyde

Posted 9:34pm Thursday 25th April 2019

April 13. The infamous Hyde Street Party started off for me with a bit of a whimper. Our photographer, Aiman, and I were shown around, stone sober, by someone from OUSA, along with a bunch of other old-fart media guys from around town. It was 9:15am and nothing had kicked off yet - nobody was really Read more...

Bagpipers Bail on U-Bar

Posted 9:33pm Thursday 4th April 2019

Bagpipers took over Dunedin’s airwaves (and sanity) last weekend. Though they appeared to be very dedicated to their rehearsals and performances, the pipers apparently weren’t as committed to keeping up with their reservations at U-Bar. The Annual Pipe Championships hosted by the Read more...

The Conclusion to the Bed Sheet Wanker

Posted 9:09pm Thursday 4th April 2019

Read the mystery here   “Ass, you sneaky bugger,” you say, pointing. “You said you were stargazing, but there aren’t even any stars out tonight! It’s too cloudy!” “Fuck,” says Ass. He shrugs and kicks at the floor. “To be fair Read more...

The Scandal of the Bed Sheet Wanker

Posted 9:07pm Thursday 4th April 2019

It’s dark. The sun has set, and thick clouds obscure any light from the stars and moon above. Streetlights are being lit, horse drawn carriages are clacking across cobblestones, people are wearing dumbass wigs, and it smells like shit everywhere because, well, people are basically throwing Read more...

Donít Fuck With Me! I Learned Kung Fu in a Shipping Container

Posted 11:21pm Thursday 28th March 2019

Shipping containers. “The melting pot of the human condition,” said Nietzsche. The “ultimate proving ground for the spirit of mankind,” said Kierkegaard. Or were both those quotes from my high school weed dealer, Big Steve, who lived in a shipping container himself? When I Read more...

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Owen Clarke

Staff Writer