Posted 11:26pm Thursday 26th September 2019

Read the mystery here     At that moment, Kyle opens the door. He sniffs, then looks at the table, then at you. “What the fuck?” he says. “That’s exactly what I said,” you say. “But I wasn’t here. It wasn’t me. It was one of Read more...

The Shittiest Study Session

Posted 11:25pm Thursday 26th September 2019

It’s a rainy Saturday evening in Dunedin. You took five too many nangs last night, forgot there was a hole in the butt pocket of your jeans and, as a result, lost your car keys. You’ve also been ghosted by your last five Tinder matches, three of whom have unmatched you altogether. In Read more...

A Satanic Solution

Posted 7:16pm Thursday 23rd May 2019

Click here for the mystery   “Chad, you son of a bitch!” you yell. “You said your vape had melon flavor, didn’t you? You worship the Great Melon King!” “Yeah that’s right, loser,” says Chad. “Melon’s my favorite flavor Read more...

A Satanic Setup

Posted 6:27pm Thursday 23rd May 2019

“The night is dark, and full of terrors,” whispers Leroy. “Fuck off, Leroy,” you respond. “I’m tired of hearing about that Game of Thrones bullshit.” Your group of friends crosses the field, dark clouds massing above, blocking out the stars and Read more...

A Herbal Hellscape

Posted 6:17pm Thursday 23rd May 2019

It’s common knowledge that humans don’t know everything. We might have figured out how to make handheld phones with cameras so that we can take pictures of our junk and send them to people on the other side of the world, but there’s a lot we still don’t know. This is Read more...

I Sat in the Library and Reviewed Some Textbooks for Fun on a Friday Night

Posted 10:50pm Thursday 16th May 2019

There’s not a whole lot of positive shit I can say about academic textbooks. They’re heavy, boring, and smell like an old folks home. That said, I did enjoy wanking to page 44 of our Biology textbook back in Year 7 and Year 8, and maybe a few times in Year 9. Aside from that, and the Read more...

Saving Private Quackers: Otago DebSocís Multi-Day Search and Rescue Operation to Save an Injured Duck

Posted 9:13pm Thursday 9th May 2019

Say you’re a duck, right? Say you’re a duck, and your leg is busted up. Classic. Probably got into a fight with an evil goose gang while trying to defend some helpless babies or something. Either way, on most University campuses, you’d probably be out of luck. But not at Otago, Read more...

The University is Selling Your Email Account to Evil Corporations That Are Trying to Steal Your Soul and Turn You Into a Corporate Drone

Posted 10:06pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

Over the course of the year, you may have received emails on your Otago student email account advertising for various postgraduate jobs and entry-level positional vacancies. Or maybe you haven’t, which probably means your degree (like mine, Interpretive Pole Dancing) is so useless that no Read more...

Superfly Superspy - The Conclusion

Posted 7:07pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

Return to Superfly Superspy     “Lovestorm!” you yell, “this mission was top secret, but you said you knew I was ‘messing around with some Yakuza’. You betrayed me!” “Sorry, baby doll,” says Lovestorm, smirking. They slap a Read more...

Superfly Superspy

Posted 7:06pm Thursday 2nd May 2019

Tokyo. 2019. Three men in suits sit around a wooden table in the dimly lit room. Lamplight reflects off the velvet curtains and the tattoos spidering up each man’s neck. They grin at each other, whispering evil things and just being bad guys in general. Each are clan leaders in the Yakuza, Read more...

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Owen Clarke

Staff Writer