Which Degree has the Most Big Dick Energy?

Which Degree has the Most Big Dick Energy?

Let’s make this clear; no degree is better than another because they’re all shit. However, some do tend to have more Bick Dick Energy than others.

So what is Big Dick Energy? Many people have tried to find a definition for this ambiguous term but, for most, it simply means the “quiet confidence and ease with oneself that comes from knowing you have an enormous penis and you know what to do with it” – which doesn’t just mean the size of one's dick, but also the vibe that comes with it. BDE doesn’t mean one is super cocky, but rather exemplifies low-key confidence. They don’t need to be chauvinistic and overly exert themselves, because the BDE oozes out of them naturally. So let us break down the tiresome debate of the best degree in terms of Big Dick Energy.



Will say they have Big Dick Energy in theory, however no amount of lab reports can back up their claims.


Health Science

Small Dick Energy - it’s being crushed by the weight of UMAT and their parents’ disappointment.



Small Dick Energy - however they will pull out endless case files to explain how they’re above average.



Small Dick Energy - the amount of radiation from X-rays really shrinks it down.



Small Dick Energy – but they will try and show their working to prove they have the largest mass.



Mythical Dick Energy - too busy explaining the importance of Socrates and Alexander the Great to be concerned with dick energy levels.



Medium-sized Dick Energy - the kind of energy that would pay for dinner, but at La Porchetta.


History/Art History

Medium Dick Energy - too busy analysing their past energy levels and their action’s socio-political consequences to be concerned with having BDE.



Medium Dick Energy - will probably have created some new hormone compound steroid to enhance their energy.



Medium Dick Energy - they’re a Stuart Hall in the streets, and a Foucault in the sheets.



Big Dick Energy - they’re hard.



Probably has Big Dick Energy but is commonly confused with their inflated ego. BCom students encompass all the components of BDE but aren’t able to execute it. They’ll like all your old Instagram photos at 3am but will blank you in the library.



Biggest Dick Energy. These are the ones to watch out for. They have the natural confidence to exert high BDE levels, but are self-aware enough to know when they’re being a wanker. They’ll stop and chat to you at the supermarket for fifteen minutes, but still crave the thrill of the chase.

This article first appeared in Issue 8, 2019.
Posted 6:01pm Thursday 11th April 2019 by Henessey Griffiths.