Archive

Turning Back the Pages of Time: Critic Through the Ages

Posted 8:31pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Callum Doyle

Well, it’s come to this. We ran out of drugs to do, weird artists to interview and ways to make fun of commerce students. So, what do you do when you run out of ideas? When sitcoms ran out of ideas they’d string together clips from older episodes (or just put Joey and Rachel together, Read more...

The Eternal Flame of Couch Burning

Posted 7:41pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Caroline Moratti

When I envision how couch burning started in this glorious city we call home, a couple of scenarios go through my mind. Maybe our young hero who, sick of having flat arguments about heat pump usage, had a fit of rage and decided to burn the living room furniture as if to say “Fuck you ya cheap Read more...

The Top Things of 2018

Posted 6:56pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Joel MacManus

Here at Critic, we consider it our job to tell you what to think so that you don’t have to. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves while we eat fish n chips and get on the piss and then justify it as journalism by writing about it afterwards. Anyway, here’s a list of the best Read more...

The History of the Critic/ODT Journalism Turf War

Posted 11:43pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

New Zealand is a small country. We’d fit in the pocket of a real country and be indistinguishable from lint. Our small population moulds our news outlets into unusual beasts. One of the most unusual is the Otago Daily Times, the hyper-local community newspaper that in the midst of the digital Read more...

I Tried the Vogue White Wine & Eggs Diet and It Nearly Killed Me

Posted 10:33pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Saskia Rushton-Green

I am not a resilient person, spiritually or physically. I become distressed when I don’t get my 5+ a day and I cried the other day because I remembered the time six months ago that an old lady was mean to me.  So, I thought that doing this objectively bad diet would be great. You know, Read more...

Do You Even Lift, Sis?

Posted 5:52pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Powerlifting is a rapidly growing sport among women in Dunedin. Chelle Fitzgerald chats to five badass local competitors about the rise of female lifters.     Weightlifting is currently one of the fastest growing female sports. Stereotypes around what a female lifter looks like Read more...

How To Find A Boyfriend

Posted 8:52pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Alice is your typical depressed, thot 2nd year student. She’s never had a boyfriend, something to do with “focusing on her studies in high school”. However, it’s been fucking cold outside and with the plummeting temperatures comes an increased desire to spoon that random guy Read more...

How to Drop out of Uni and make a living in porn

Posted 8:48pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Callum Doyle

Porn is a strange thing. Right now, Pornhub is the 14th most popular website in the world and 8thin New Zealand, right behind Netflix and just in front of the Wikipedia page for the under-arm bowling incident. Everyone does it, your flatmate who just came downstairs to grab his laptop for Read more...

The Great New Zealand Drug Review

Posted 8:22am Tuesday 18th September 2018 by Critic

Experimenting with altered states of consciousness is part of the human condition. Even in prehistoric times, scientists believe humans took ancient drugs to get high.  With this in mind, Critic decided to conduct a highly scientific review of some drugs, for your enjoyment (but Read more...

Getting High on History at the Whakamana Cannabis Museum

Posted 2:59pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Callum Doyle

It’s one of those things that shouldn’t exist but somehow still does, like my girlfriend. Yet somehow, in the middle of Dunedin’s central business district, beside the finest sex shop Princes Street has to offer, sits the only weed museum in the southern hemisphere (well, Uruguay Read more...

I Led a Police Hunt Through the Botans When I Was High

Posted 2:58pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Anonymous

Put down your Billy Mavs, put away your study notes and buckle in because I am about to tell you the greatest story of all time.  It all started two months after a nasty breakup. I still missed my ex. I missed his eyes, his flakiness, his unwashed foreskin, his intense fear of commitment. I Read more...

I Accidentally Smoked Laced Weed and It Fucked Me Up

Posted 2:55pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Anonymous

Weed is fucking terrifying.  Not a statement that you hear very often as for most people who use the drug it is a relatively positive experience, for me however this is not the case. Here is my story of a 2-day drug trip that has put me off any other illicit substances for life, which Read more...

I Was the World’s Worst Drug Dealer

Posted 2:54pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Chelle Fitzgerald interviews a self-confessed “terrible” former drug dealer. For anonymity’s sake, we’ll call him “Mr Drugs.”      Chelle: What drugs did you deal?  Mr. Drugs: Throughout the years I sold marijuana, (REAL)LSD, Read more...

What It’s Like To Be On Anti-Depressants

Posted 2:52pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Anonymous

For the past couple of years, I’ve had a consistent low mood; not showering, eating junk food, staying in bed all day. Yeah, I’m single boys, come and get it. However, despite all this, it was also kind of manageable. Dry shampoo and Blackboard slides were my sweet, sweet Read more...

Top 10 Mysteries of Otago University

Posted 12:18am Friday 7th September 2018 by Molly Codyre

In her final weeks of university, resident fourth year Molly Codyre set out to finally get to the bottom of the most mysterious, unexplainable and often annoying things about life at our beautiful, vomit scattered campus.    1. Why is the only tropical holiday I’m getting this Read more...

Dunedin Ghost Tours: A Journey Through a City’s Dark Past

Posted 10:01pm Thursday 6th September 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

On a still, chilly Wednesday night, fellow Critic writer Caroline Moratti and I find ourselves standing underneath a streetlamp in the Octagon. The pavement glitters with a sense of anticipation, hiding the untold stories of the night.  Waiting for Andrew “The Hair Raiser” Smith, Read more...

NZ Idol Winner Ben Lummis on Fame, Hummus, and a Comeback Tour that is DEFINITELY happening

Posted 12:13am Friday 31st August 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

Looking back, 2004 was the golden era for New Zealand television. We were so blessed by great faces appearing on our screens, such as DJ Vinyl Richie, Drew Neemia, Erin Simpson – it truly was the best of times. But since 2004 was such a long time ago, so many of these familiar faces have Read more...

I Made My Dad Join a Cult

Posted 12:09am Friday 31st August 2018 by Callum Doyle

You might know something about Scientology. Like, Tom Cruise is a part of it. And didn’t South Park do an episode on it or something? Bet you didn’t know, however, that the second ever Church of Scientology was based in New Zealand. That’s right, even when it comes to starting Read more...

Meet the People Who Protest Abortion Outside the Dunedin Hospital

Posted 8:50pm Thursday 30th August 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

The majority of abortions in New Zealand are deemed acceptable on the grounds of “serious danger to mental health”. I should know; I’ve had one myself. Conceiving on my 18th birthday during O-Week, what are the odds? Pretty high, if you’re me. Regardless, there would Read more...

The Carpet Critic – an Exposé on the Carpets of Otago

Posted 5:47pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by Sophia Carter Peters

Central Library Not the most appealing, but clean and does the job. Fantastic water absorption, your tears will just sink right in. Ruined somewhat by the obnoxious presence of AskOtago. Design: 2.5/5 Texture: 1/5 Aroma: 5/5 Cleanliness: 4.5/5 Water absorption: Read more...

The Great Critic Pub Crawl

Posted 5:22pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Three of our intrepid reporters went on a walk from Central Library to the Octagon. They came back five hours later, about $80 poorer, and much drunker.   Ombrellos This place is delightful and wholesome, like my kindergarten or my grandparents’ sex life. The main bar was closed Read more...

Critic Reviews: The Best Chinese Food in North Dunedin

Posted 4:56pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by David Emanuel

Chinese food is amazing. Simply relegating the entire genre to two words is a grave injustice. Anthony Bourdain said you can spend a lifetime studying Chinese culture and you won’t even scrape the surface. In Dunedin we are lucky to have a few good Chinese restaurants whilst having the ethnic Read more...

The People Behind Otago’s Favourite Facebook Pages

Posted 11:30pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Critic

In the glory days of the early 2000s, Facebook pages earned your likes by having hilarious names such as “I could tell you, but I’d rather show you through INTERPRETATIVE DANCE” and other such bizarro crap set loose upon the random XD quirky youths of the decade. Nowadays, no Read more...

Uncovering the Guys Behind New Zealand’s Craziest Conspiracy Website

Posted 11:19pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Joel MacManus

Trigger Warning: This article deals with anti-Semitic and transphobic conspiracy theorists. They are directly quoted, in their own words, using a number of offensive words and phrases.      January 19 2018 was a day that changed what normal meant in New Zealand’s Read more...

David with the Stars: Dance Superstar David Seymour strips his soul bare

Posted 11:08pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Editor’s Note: I just want to make it 100% clear that this is a real interview. All the quotes were actually spoken by David Seymour to Critic reporter Caroline Moratti, in a very awkward interview.  In 2018 a star was born. Dancing with the Stars was a life changing experience for Read more...

Nurse Joy?

Posted 8:12pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Callum Doyle

After a day-long strike and nearly a year of negotiations, New Zealand Nurses Organisation has accepted the latest pay offer from their DHB employers, ending the threat of further strikes. Callum Doyle went to the Duendin protest to find out what it means and why it was necessary in the first Read more...

The Rookie’s Guide to Art Galleries

Posted 8:03pm Thursday 2nd August 2018 by Joel MacManus

The OUSA Art Gallery Crawl is back this Thursday. If you’re not an “art person” it can seem like a strange new world tomanoeuvre. But the payoff is huge. Not only will you impress potential sexual partners with your worldiness, but sometimes there’s free Read more...

I Live to Back-Trend

Posted 7:09pm Thursday 2nd August 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis

Fashion at Otago University in 2012 meant jeans and puffer vests as far as the eye could see. 2015 saw the rise of the striped top and activewear, a look which became so iconic that everyone was soon afraid to wear it.  In 2018 it’s looking like denim with block coloured tops, Read more...

Shiraz Sharon & Pinot Gris Paula : A Detailed Guide of Various Wine Mums

Posted 12:46am Monday 30th July 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

A couple of Fridays ago, I had the divine honour of seeing Dave Dobbyn live at The Cook. Aside from all the whipping and inappropriate “CHEEEAAAAHOOOOOS” that occurred, I felt myself more captivated by the audience around me than by Dave’s performance. We were the youngest in a sea Read more...

Dogs of Dunedin

Posted 12:29am Monday 30th July 2018 by Jessica Thompson Carr

Tom Tremewan runs the adorable Instagram page Dogs of Dunedin NZ, chronicling the bestest boyes and gurls in Dunedin. Critic caught up with him for a hard-hitting interview.    Where did the idea for this gram come from? It started off with me sending snapchats to my friends of Read more...

Meet the Conservation Dogs

Posted 5:55pm Friday 27th July 2018 by Ellen Rykers

You’ve probably met those nosy beagles at the airport. Those doe-eyed dogs that’ll sit earnestly next to your luggage while you protest your innocence, until the long-forgotten apple festering in the bottom of your backpack is revealed. Or maybe you’ve slunk past the doggos with a Read more...

Money and Bitches: Meet the Guy Who Makes a Living Rating Dogs on Twitter

Posted 6:41pm Thursday 26th July 2018 by Callum Doyle

If you’ve ever heard someone say the nonsensical words doggo, woofer or pupper, they may have suffered a serious stroke and require medical attention immediately. Or, they may have just been using some of the new slang words for “dog” that have become so popular that they’re Read more...

Chlöe Swarbrick wants to “make politics cool”

Posted 7:38pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Esme Hall

Chlöe Swarbrick says she’s “the perfect flatmate”. She’s out the door of her Wellington flat at 7am and back after 11pm. She has no time to cook, so never leaves dirty dishes. That is, of course, because she’s a Green MP in an eight-person caucus and handles nine Read more...

Accessible Sex

Posted 7:36pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Is sex a basic human right? Not for your parents hopefully, don’t picture that.  To access sex remains a struggle that plagues most of our lives. It involves showering regularly, wearing inappropriate amounts of deodorant, and forcing yourself to make small talk about their degree. But Read more...

Dunedin's Bar Stereotypes

Posted 5:46pm Thursday 12th July 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Starters: Name: Jess 18 years old. Has a REAL I.D. Also seen in: St David, Arana, Central Library. Lives on Vodka Cruisers and Jägerbombs. Shows up at 9:30. Has way too much energy. Puts everything on daddy’s credit card but still complains about being “a broke Read more...

Telephones to Another World

Posted 5:43pm Thursday 12th July 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

Bruce Mahalski collects skulls. Porcupine, tui, crocodile, human, cow and giraffe skulls decorate the front half of his Dunedin home, which he has turned into the Dunedin Museum of Natural Mystery, showcasing his skulls next to bones, fossils, “ethnographic” art, and whatever weird or Read more...

Reviewing Dunedin’s C-Graded Restaurants

Posted 9:57pm Thursday 5th July 2018 by Joel MacManus

Our intrepid reporters put their lives on the line to bring you cutting edge reviews of the eateries that Dunedin’s Health Inspectors have deemed least safe for human consumption.    Doughbin – The Bin This place is weird. As a bakery/Japanese restaurant, The Bin is Read more...

I See Music: What It’s Like Living with Synesthesia

Posted 9:53pm Thursday 5th July 2018 by Adelaide Dunn

The view from the living room window of my childhood home looks across Kaikorai Valley, a perfect skyline of hills rising to meet Flagstaff. As a four-year-old, I would trace my finger along the line of trees on top of those hills. Every now and then, the sound of a horn from the nearby train-tracks Read more...

A Good Keen Club: The Group That Is Changing The Way Students Eat At Otago

Posted 9:52pm Thursday 5th July 2018 by Jim Eunson

Many students are still struggling to afford healthy, nutritious meals on the daily. Rent, power, and other living expenses have an impact on the average student’s ability to eat meat and fish. Some would call on students to stop eating animal products altogether, and perhaps this is an Read more...

How To Take Mushrooms and Not Die

Posted 10:54pm Thursday 24th May 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

So, the weather’s getting cold, you’ve already failed two of your semester one papers and life’s looking pretty dusty. What’s a student to do? Well, if you’ve attended any parties lately, you’d know that at this time of year the breathers like to turn some Read more...

Dumpster Diving: A Beginner’s Guide

Posted 7:38pm Thursday 24th May 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Poverty for students is often so fundamentally ingrained that it can be hard to recognise — we make jokes about the lads who live off two-minute noodles and inhabit flats with holes in the walls. It’s scarfie culture down to the bone; golden and beloved. It’s easy to forget that Mi Read more...

We Crashed The Beatles

Posted 7:33pm Thursday 24th May 2018 by Critic

Well, we did it. We sent two of our intrepid, expendable reporters to the City Hotel – not to join the rest in the boozer – and told them to “see the Beatles.” What actually rocked us on our heels was that they did. Our newspaperman and news hen walked in between the Read more...

Sexing It up in Shark Week

Posted 6:10pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Maddie Grant

Considering lesbians probably have this shit down - this one is for the cis heteros who for some reason are still queasy when it comes to periods and sex. The only time anyone is ever excited about a period is after a pregnancy scare. However, just because periods can ruin your underwear Read more...

Red Alert

Posted 6:08pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis

Menstruation is a complicated thing: the biology, the mess, the weird food cravings, the sexual urges, and, most of all, talking about it. Periods are like Superman – you never know who is hiding the suit under their clothes. They could strike anytime, anywhere. Before we continue, it needs to Read more...

Bloody Hell: 18 Students Share Their Best Period Stories

Posted 6:07pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Bleeding like a stuck pig for approximately 1/6th of our lives (which is around 15 years of solid bleeding, btw) isn’t an awful lot of fun. So just for a moment, let’s rejoice in, or recoil aghast at, these tales of menstrual treachery that our readers have so kindly Read more...

Dunedin’s Cheapest Alcohol: An Investigative Investigation

Posted 6:00pm Thursday 17th May 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Life on the student allowance is a constant struggle to balance those optional extras, like rent and food, with the essentials, like caffeine and alcohol. The ultimate goal in life is to get fucked up without fucking up your finances. You want to drink to forget your money troubles, not create new Read more...

The Capping Show Cult

Posted 11:01pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Jacob Houston

“You’ve just woken up, and you realise the world is in slow motion,” says the director. All right, I’ll play George Bush just doing his regular thing. That’s pretty funny. But I guess that’s been done before; maybe I should just make a character. Yeah, Read more...

Midwife Crisis

Posted 10:59pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Callum Doyle

Babies are the shitty, screaming, harbingers of shit that are one of the ‘perks’ of settling down and becoming an actual adult. Luckily most of us are not in Gore, so it’s not something we have to consider for at least a few more years. And even better, there’s a whole Read more...

The Mystery of The Disappearing Fuckboi or: The Narrow Escape In The Hyde Street Sex Attic

Posted 10:55pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Critic

OK boys and girls, ladies and gents, strap yourself in because boy do I have a story for you. I am a first-year health science student who has recently been freed from a messy relationship, and I’ve been looking to get back on the horse - so naturally I turned to Tinder. Armed with a witty Read more...

CROSSFAT

Posted 10:49pm Friday 11th May 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

I’m the first to admit it; I’ve gone incredibly soft and sedentary since high school. What used to be a capable and fit dancer’s body has slowly deteriorated into good hugs and heavy partying, usually accompanied by carb-laden food and quality banter, which is not actually a thing Read more...