Archive
Oops, Newshub Reported on My Fake Landlord Post
Posted 3:40pm Monday 20th September 2021 by Asia Martusia King
It all began when my flatmate didn’t do the dishes. I wondered what would happen if she died under mysterious circumstances. Would the rest of us get free rent, or would we have to cover our deceased flatmate’s share while mourning? It’s a deeply upsetting scenario. When Read more...
Which form of home-made coffee is the best?
Posted 2:08pm Monday 20th September 2021 by Sean Gourley
Coffee is the peak of caffeinated beverages. Tea is too weak and British; energy drinks are for incels and children. Coffee is a gateway drug to becoming a functional member of society. Most students wouldn’t be able to take their exams or morning shits without it. But which method of brewing Read more...
Holding Out For a Hero
Posted 2:03pm Monday 20th September 2021 by Susana Jones
Essential workers are out there grinding despite the drama of lockdown, providing us with food, healthcare, petrol, and all the essentials. As I sit up in my room doing my daily tasks, eating my daily food, going on my daily walks, watching my daily updates, I wonder what it might be like to live a Read more...
Local Produce: Adelaide Cara
Posted 4:04pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Sean Gourley
Adelaide Cara is an Ōtepoti musician who recently recorded their debut album ‘How Does This Sound?’ The album is nostalgic and dreamy, perfect to listen to while you drive around at night, with haunting vocals. Thankfully they released it on cassette tape, so even my very old car Read more...
When Worlds Collide: Overcoming Technological Hurdles to Te Reo
Posted 3:57pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Elliot Weir
The digital world can provide a place for te reo Māori to thrive, but a number of technological hurdles stand in the way. One of the largest problems is with autocorrect and spell check. Students found it annoying when te reo words autocorrected to English words. Other times, kupu have Read more...
“What percentage are you?”
Posted 3:47pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
Why the colonial concept of blood quantum doesn’t define indigenous people By Annabelle Vaughan People sometimes ask weird questions, that’s how life is. However, for many Māori here in Aotearoa, or any indigenous person, a common question we often receive is “so Read more...
Iwi Dialects: Because Te Reo Isn’t the Same Everywhere
Posted 3:34pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Students of Te Roopū Māori
Growing up in Aotearoa, chances are you’ve learned a bit of te reo here and there. While you might think there is a one-size-fits all approach, that’s not the case. All across Aotearoa, different iwi in different regions each have their own individual dialects of te reo. Listed below are Read more...
A Brief History of Ngāi Tahu: Things you should probably know about the land you’re on
Posted 3:21pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
If you’ve come to study at Otago University from up North, picked fruit in the sweltering heat of Central Otago, gone skiing on the slopes in Wānaka, or gone stargazing at Lake Tekapo, it’s important for you to know about Ngāi Tahu. Ngāi Tahu, also known as Kāi Tahu, Read more...
How Pākehā can better honour Te Tiriti o Waitangi
Posted 3:10pm Sunday 12th September 2021 by Tessa Dalgety-Evans
CW: Racism, colonisation, discussion of Pākehā dominance Definitions Pākehā: English, foreign, European. Despite the claims of some non-Māori speakers, the term does not normally have negative connotations. Tauiwi: foreigner, European, non-Māori, Read more...
Local Produce: Black-Sale House
Posted 3:37pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
Best known for their funky, genre-spanning sound and playing plenty of pint nights, Dunedin band Black Sale House are leaving a major mark on the Dunedin music scene. The group of five, made up of Masin on vocals, Samuel on keyboards, Finn on guitar, Joshua on drums, and Sol on bass, sat Read more...
The Politics of Flat Mugs
Posted 3:30pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Keegan Wells
Unless you’re a soulless robot, you have a favourite mug. So do all your flatmates, and they are different mugs. The politics of flat mugs are an underlying, unspoken rule amongst flatties in Dunedin. Conflict begins to brew when someone steals another person’s mug, or said cup is Read more...
OPINION: Please Don't Get Pets in Lockdown
Posted 3:29pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Asia Martusia King
Mamma mia, here we go again. Some people thrive in lockdown. If you are anything like me (condolences) you get lonely and sad instead. You begin to think, wouldn’t it be nice to adopt a gorgeous fuzzy son/daughter? You’d have the benefits of pet therapy. You’d be giving an animal a Read more...
K9MD: The Clever Canines That Can Help Combat Cancer
Posted 3:25pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Asia Martusia King
Levi von Heisenberg’s work day is as follows. He wakes up, carpools to work in rural Mosgiel, and smells jars of piss. Levi is a German Shepherd and member of K9MD, a team of darling medical detection dogs who are learning to sniff out cancer in human urine. Could a dog save your life? Read more...
The Guy with the Suit and the Synagogue: Peter Grace
Posted 3:23pm Sunday 5th September 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
Peter Grace is known to most as a lecturer of New Zealand foreign policy at the Department of Politics, or the mysterious 100-level International politics tutor. Grace is best known for his kind and soft spoken demeanor, his dedication to his students, and a penchant for Savile Rowe Read more...
Local Produce: Teddy Penrose, aka Logan Burrell
Posted 4:06pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
Image credit: Rosa Nevison Otago student Logan Burrell is well accustomed with the Dunedin music scene. After playing in several local bands, he has since branched out on his own solo project, releasing music under the pseudonym Teddy Penrose. Critic sat down with Logan to chat about his creative Read more...
Bruce Mahalski’s Amazing Animal Mural-skis
Posted 4:05pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Asia Martusia King
Living in Dunedin, chances are you've seen a variety of street art — a couple of hoiho beside Market Kitchen, or the rooster outside of CJ’s supermarket. Bruce Mahalski is the artist behind these creations, performing necromancy on the Animal Attic’s ailing taxidermy, bringing Read more...
You’ve been hired to write a news article for Critic Te Arohi’s next issue.
Posted 4:03pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Elliot Weir
Your Birth Month January - Breatha February - Grange Street Flat March - MFCO lecturer April - Renowned stoner May - Nerd June - Wholesome grandma July - OUSA Exec August - Broke Castle Street resident September - Student journalist October - Environmental activist Read more...
Māori Hour Wholesomeness
Posted 3:22pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Susana Jones
Māori hour is an incredibly wholesome phenomenon. I am not Māori and am not speaking on behalf of Māori and never will. I am just here to comment on a cultural phenomenon I’ve observed, one which is interesting, special, and unique to Aotearoa. Imagine this. You’re at a Read more...
Mixer Review
Posted 3:20pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Chug Norris
Mixers are the unsung heroes of alcohol, the pleasure to balance the pain of spirits. Anything can be a mixer if you’re brave enough, but I really did have to narrow down the selection to only the most practical options. Rather than going through every type of soft drink and fruit juice, I Read more...
Ain’t No Party Like a Meatloaf Party
Posted 3:17pm Sunday 22nd August 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan, Fox Meyer, and Keegan Wells
Much like Regina George’s hair, Otago University is full of secrets. Tucked away in the streets of North Dunedin, there exist all kinds of weird and wonderful traditions. One of them is the Meatloaf Party. Critic Te Arohi attended the 30th anniversary of the event, which means that meatloaf Read more...
Local Produce: Jacob Koopman | @Koops_Art
Posted 2:25pm Monday 16th August 2021 by Keegan Wells
Jacob Koopman is one of the newest creatives emerging onto our local art scene. Jacob is currently blessing the eyes of many with his work, which blends realism and surrealism. Jacob is an artistic powerhouse who enjoys painting, usually while lying on the floor of his “poor-lit and mostly Read more...
Which Famous Artist Are You?
Posted 2:18pm Monday 16th August 2021 by Otago Art Club
What do you study? Muscles Numbers Green things (includes shrek) 2D shapes Society How much do you like to get naked? If it were legal, I would not wear clothes My birthday suit is the only suit I own I wear clothes in the shower Towel runs give me a rush of Read more...
Daniel Vernon: Artist, musician, bird conspiracy theorist
Posted 2:15pm Monday 16th August 2021 by Elliot Weir
Pōneke-based Daniel Vernon is a man of many talents. He’s an artist, a podcaster, and is in a band. He writes and plays music in Dartz, makes political satire comics as yeehawtheboys, and talks about sex, love, and relationships on the Just The Tips podcast. Daniel took some time out of Read more...
Local Produce: Tom Sharp - Going Solo as beatvandal
Posted 2:14am Monday 9th August 2021 by Sean Gourley
Tom Sharp is a musician well-acquainted with the Dunedin scene. For his latest project he has decided to go solo and give Dunedin a taste of his own unique style. He has released two singles and an EP under the name beatvandal. Tom started taking law at Otago after a gap-year in 2018, but Read more...
Which Study Spot Are You?
Posted 2:12am Monday 9th August 2021 by Critic
1. It’s a Thursday night. What are you doing? a. Getting wasted and heading to a gig b. Read more...
Mako Road: On their upcoming tour, the makings of ‘Stranger Days,’ and post-show rituals
Posted 2:06am Monday 9th August 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
Four-piece indie rock band Mako Road have been making festival headlines and blasting through radio airwaves across New Zealand for a couple of years now. Their debut album, ‘Stranger Days’, has just been released and the group is set to tour around New Zealand this month. Critic Te Read more...
Cook Islands Language Week: Time to Learn About the Cook Islands
Posted 2:04am Monday 9th August 2021 by Susana Jones
Kia orāna all! Last week, from Sunday 1 August to Monday 7 August, was Cook Islands language week. To celebrate, we bring you this piece about one of the few places you might be able to travel to within the next year or so (thanks Miss Rona). To learn more about the Cook Islands, I Read more...
DSC Voted Best Bar
Posted 2:00am Monday 9th August 2021 by Fox Meyer
Well, here we are. DSC won Critic’s inaugural Bar Bracket. We started this bracket because we thought DSC’s third-place ranking by our staff was too high, and now it has come out on top. Democracy doesn’t always lead to the results you want. The bracket system and bar selection Read more...
What’s Hiding On Top Of University Buildings?
Posted 1:45am Monday 9th August 2021 by Asia Martusia King
When you’re a teenager, you hide your questionable content beneath the bed. When you’re a university, you hide them on the roof. Here are some of the things lurking above you right now. Microbiology — Covid Do you love scrumptious diseases? Wish you could Read more...
Local Produce: Emerik Wallace - The Fade Master
Posted 5:33pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Sean Gourley
Emerik Wallace is a very chill guy, who loves cutting hair. He runs @fat_emz_cuts cutting hair on weekends for customers and a few mates. Alongside this, he studies physio right here at Otago. Emerik started out cutting his own hair, he says. “I used to try to do short sides and fades Read more...
Huzur Kebab: Why have abs when you can have kebabs?
Posted 5:30pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Sean Gourley
Huzur Kebab is the newest kebab place in town. They opened on June 12. Owned and run by Mustafa Boztas, Huzur is located just north of fatty lane. It has provided much-needed, late-night Turkish food north of the Octagon, and brings something to the table that fatty lane has always been lacking: Read more...
Mother I’d Like to Fathom: The MILF Conundrum
Posted 5:28pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Asia Martusia King
May 19 2003 should be a national holiday. Stacy’s Mom by Fountains of Wayne was released and the MILF was born. But, what defines a MILF? The dictionary definition, if Merriam-Webster had the balls, would be “mother I’d like to fuck”. A hot woman with kids. A yummy mummy. Oh, Read more...
Dunedin Bar Bracket
Posted 5:25pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Fox Meyer
I love numbers, and I love beer. Here’s a bit of both. Behold: The Bar Bracket. We realized that allowing one reporter to rank the bars of Dunedin was a terrible idea, so we gave the power to you, the people, to decide which bar ranked supreme. As you may have noticed, not every Read more...
Water Into Wine: The Tasting Notes of Otago's Water Fountains
Posted 5:22pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Susana Jones
Water fountains are a staple all around campus. They are one of our most reliable and vital resources. There’s just one problem: They all seem to taste different, despite being on the same campus, and presumably being attached to the same pipes. I put my scientific skills to the test, and Read more...
Secret Ingredients to Spice Up Your Flat Cooking
Posted 5:19pm Sunday 1st August 2021 by Elliot Weir
Stuck in the same dull routine of pesto pasta, nachos, KFC and Domino’s? Looking to take your flat cooking up a notch and go outside your comfort zone? This list is for you. Critic has compiled a few secret ingredients that you can use in everyday recipes to give them some extra flavour, all Read more...
Local Produce: Rezzy Crooks
Posted 5:44pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Sean Gourley
Image credit: Rosa Nevison Rezzy Crooks are now one of the OG bands on the Dunedin scene well established by many a pint night. There are four members Sam, Jamie, Toby and Josh in a classic two guitar, bass, and drums set-up. We checked in with them to see what it takes to make it to the Read more...
How Otago students got it on in the 19th century
Posted 5:41pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Runze Liu
The lads and lasses of Dunedin have a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to dating and hookups. But how did students do it back in the day, before the technological lubrication of Tinder and Snapchat? Critic did a deep dive into old school dating, circa the 1800s, and here’s what we Read more...
Where were you conceived?
Posted 5:38pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Critic
You can tell a lot about a person based on where they cum from. Go through these questions and select as many answers as you feel apply to you, and then total the score. For example, if answers 1, 2, and 4 applied to you, you’d score 7 for that question. Get out your calculator, and Read more...
A pai mai ki te mārama, Bring it into the light: Approaching the taboo of sex in Pasifika cultures
Posted 5:34pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Susana Jones
“Kissy kissy, huggy huggy, but no fucky fucky.” My strong, brown mum’s words echo through the empty depths of my brain as she sends me off to Dunedin from Auckland at the prime age of 17. For all I can remember, this is the complete extent of my at-home education about sex, Read more...
I Tried Retro Cosmopolitan Sex Tips So You Don’t Have To
Posted 5:31pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
If there is one thing that all students can universally agree on, it’s that sex is one of life’s greatest pleasures and priorities. Sex can be fun and exciting, or icky and underwhelming. One source of information which has always offered a wide range of sex advice is the sex tips column Read more...
Wrapping Up the History of Condoms
Posted 5:22pm Sunday 25th July 2021 by Sean Gourley
Condoms could be a lot worse. The colourful history of humans trying to find a way to have sex without consequences highlights how appreciative we should be of current advances in technology, which have allowed us to have sex without dipping our penises in tar. It really makes you Read more...
Local Produce: Alex Dykes
Posted 4:28pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
Singer-songwriter Alex Dykes is loud, full of life, and new to the Dunedin music scene. His upcoming album, The Dunedin Study, is set to be released this summer. Critic sat down to chat with Alex on his upcoming projects, his time at Otago, and his creative process. Alex started playing Read more...
Recycle A Device: Otago students are running one of New Zealand’s raddest social enterprises
Posted 4:23pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
If there is one thing every student has, it’s an old laptop or phone collecting dust in a drawer. Maybe you just don’t know what to do with it, or the thought of recycling it seems like too much admin, or maybe you’re hoping one day your old device will suddenly come back to life. Read more...
OPINION: Middle Aged Drunks Are the Problem, Not Students
Posted 4:21pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by Asia Martusia King
There’s a rugby match tonight. Shona’s left Xavier with a babysitter, and she’s going fucking rogue. For one night and one night only, her pent-up midlife chaos will be free. Her husband, Murray, is also gearing up for the game. Murray and his corporate buddies will indulge in too Read more...
Hot Chicken & Spicy Bants with Ocean Alley’s Mitch Galbraith
Posted 4:19pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by Elliot Weir
Aussie psychedelic rock band Ocean Alley have jammed their way into our playlists, festivals, and hearts in recent years with hit singles like ‘Confidence’ and ‘The Comedown’. In light of their upcoming tour across Aotearoa, guitarist Mitch Galbraith sat down with Critic Te Read more...
Kiribati Language Week
Posted 4:17pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by Susana Jones
Mauri everyone! Kiribati language week was from Sunday 11 July to Saturday 17 July, and is a time to celebrate and engage with the language of our Pacific neighbours. (We’re a week late, but still committed to bringing you this celebration of Kiribati language). Kiribati is a three Read more...
The Great Annual Critic Bar Review: Part 2
Posted 4:15pm Sunday 18th July 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
We’ve established that it is impossible to agree on the best bar. But here a washed-up fourth year with an alcohol problem continues to assess the general vibes of our most iconic drinking spots. This is Part Two of the controversial Great Annual Critic Bar Review. (If you think everything Read more...
The Great Annual Critic Bar Review: Part 1
Posted 1:27pm Tuesday 13th July 2021 by Annabelle Vaughan
In this issue, we begin a review of all the bars in Dunedin assessing the general vibes with some first-hand experiences. Until we put together a scientific ranking, who better to review our bars than myself, a washed up fourth-year with a mild drinking problem? Dunedin Social Club Going Read more...
The Cultural Phenomenon That Is Dunedin Shitposting
Posted 1:23pm Tuesday 13th July 2021 by Daniel Fitzpatrick
Ah, shitposting. Nothing compares to opening Facebook and seeing a low quality attempt at humour brightening up your newsfeed. Dunedin is fortunate to be home to a number of shitposting pages, each varying in size, audience, genre, and quality. Some of Dunedin’s most iconic Read more...
Reading Croak: A Book of Fun for Frog Lovers and Remembering Phil Bishop
Posted 1:21pm Tuesday 13th July 2021 by Asia Martusia King
Croak is a “book of fun for frog lovers”, compiled by Phil Bishop and published by Exisle. Phil was a beloved Zoology Professor at Otago, the Co-Chair of the International Union for Conservation of Nature’s Species Survival Commission Amphibian Specialist Group, and the Chief Read more...
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