Archive

Left in the Lurch: What Happens When Your Flatmate Stops Paying Rent

Posted 6:39pm Thursday 7th March 2019 by Erin Gourley

There are a lot of ways to waste your money (daily coffees, essential oils, cheap shots that are mostly syrup, fancy peanut butter from the Farmers Market). But there are none worse than paying off the rent that your flatmate didn’t pay. Ari Cameron-Smith lived out that scenario. This year, he Read more...

Revisiting the Riots

Posted 6:35pm Thursday 7th March 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald

As our 150th anniversary dawns, it seems only fitting that we honour all of Otago’s past – not just the fancy past that the weird 150th anniversary merchandise gift shop in the Link wants you to know about.  Critic talked to students and police who were present at the three Read more...

The Best Vending Machine on Campus: A Critic Investigation

Posted 6:23pm Thursday 7th March 2019 by Wyatt Ryder

University is hard work. Fortunately, our corporate overlords have placed easy access to delicious food and refreshing beverages all over campus. Quenching yourself has never been easier, but how do you know which machine to use?  The nearly twenty vending machines available on campus can be Read more...

The Great Critic Party Review

Posted 9:11pm Thursday 28th February 2019 by Critic

Back To School – The Courtyard  Ah the first night of Flo Week, when second years shed their fresher skins and emerge like butterflies from their chrysalises. They are dirtied and hardened; many are health sci veterans who have acquired a taste for pingas, Long Whites and Billy Read more...

Drunk Interviews With Drunk People

Posted 8:29pm Thursday 28th February 2019 by Owen Clarke

Drunk Scottish Girl Found Pissing Behind Bushes on Castle Hey, I’m with Critic, was hoping to ask you some questions. Ayeee, alright! *waves off two friends who are staggering in a rough semicircle nearby* Great. Do you have much interest in foreign affairs? How do you feel about Read more...

The Night’s Watch

Posted 8:23pm Thursday 28th February 2019 by Erin Gourley

“We’re not expecting a big night,” Pete from Campus Watch tells me, making a bold prediction that turns out to be way off the mark. We’re standing on the corner of Albany Street and Forth Street, watching a procession of drunken students in Highlanders jumpsuits leaving the Read more...

Which Hall Has the Loosest Drinking Rules: A Critic Investigation

Posted 9:53pm Thursday 21st February 2019 by Charlie O’Mannin

Residential colleges: the places where you made your first adult friend, both got and gave your first disappointing oral sex, and then stopped talking to said adult friend, leading to many many awkward hallway interactions.   They’re also the places where most students have their first Read more...

Nags to Riches: How I Tried (and Failed) to Game the Omakau Horse Races

Posted 8:31pm Thursday 21st February 2019 by Winnie Red

One sunny Dunedin day, I was enjoying my freedom with some leisurely drunk reading of Carl Sagan’s “Billions & Billions”, when I came across a story about the invention of the chessboard: Once upon a time, the Counsellor to a King gave the King a new game: chess. In a fit of Read more...

How to Get Through University Doing as Little Work as Possible

Posted 8:22pm Thursday 21st February 2019 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Let’s face it, everyone’s dream paper is one where you can spend all your time in some state of intoxication and still pass with ease.  Since not everyone has an older sibling who can give them some realistic course advice, Critic thought we would do a bit of the legwork and Read more...

Adam Sandler is the Karl Marx of our Generation: A Critical Analysis

Posted 11:01pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

18 films. Two psychoanalyses. One terrible comedy album. We have now reached the end of our time here at Mr. Sandler, Bring Me a Dream. What a journey we have been on together. To be honest, there was a period in which I didn’t even know if I would be writing this. But here we Read more...

Harleneing With The Stars

Posted 10:55pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

With a nervous gait, Harlene approaches my table of destiny (we couldn’t actually get her to do it, so we just got Chelle to pretend to be her). Trembling, she sits down. Harlene is seeking divine answers. I tell her I am most willing to oblige (for international fees). Harlene reluctantly Read more...

Turning Back the Pages of Time: Critic Through the Ages

Posted 8:31pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Callum Doyle

Well, it’s come to this. We ran out of drugs to do, weird artists to interview and ways to make fun of commerce students. So, what do you do when you run out of ideas? When sitcoms ran out of ideas they’d string together clips from older episodes (or just put Joey and Rachel together, Read more...

The Eternal Flame of Couch Burning

Posted 7:41pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Caroline Moratti

When I envision how couch burning started in this glorious city we call home, a couple of scenarios go through my mind. Maybe our young hero who, sick of having flat arguments about heat pump usage, had a fit of rage and decided to burn the living room furniture as if to say “Fuck you ya cheap Read more...

The Top Things of 2018

Posted 6:56pm Thursday 4th October 2018 by Joel MacManus

Here at Critic, we consider it our job to tell you what to think so that you don’t have to. At least, that’s what we tell ourselves while we eat fish n chips and get on the piss and then justify it as journalism by writing about it afterwards. Anyway, here’s a list of the best Read more...

The History of the Critic/ODT Journalism Turf War

Posted 11:43pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

New Zealand is a small country. We’d fit in the pocket of a real country and be indistinguishable from lint. Our small population moulds our news outlets into unusual beasts. One of the most unusual is the Otago Daily Times, the hyper-local community newspaper that in the midst of the digital Read more...

I Tried the Vogue White Wine & Eggs Diet and It Nearly Killed Me

Posted 10:33pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Saskia Rushton-Green

I am not a resilient person, spiritually or physically. I become distressed when I don’t get my 5+ a day and I cried the other day because I remembered the time six months ago that an old lady was mean to me.  So, I thought that doing this objectively bad diet would be great. You know, Read more...

Do You Even Lift, Sis?

Posted 5:52pm Thursday 27th September 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Powerlifting is a rapidly growing sport among women in Dunedin. Chelle Fitzgerald chats to five badass local competitors about the rise of female lifters.     Weightlifting is currently one of the fastest growing female sports. Stereotypes around what a female lifter looks like Read more...

How To Find A Boyfriend

Posted 8:52pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Alice is your typical depressed, thot 2nd year student. She’s never had a boyfriend, something to do with “focusing on her studies in high school”. However, it’s been fucking cold outside and with the plummeting temperatures comes an increased desire to spoon that random guy Read more...

How to Drop out of Uni and make a living in porn

Posted 8:48pm Thursday 20th September 2018 by Callum Doyle

Porn is a strange thing. Right now, Pornhub is the 14th most popular website in the world and 8thin New Zealand, right behind Netflix and just in front of the Wikipedia page for the under-arm bowling incident. Everyone does it, your flatmate who just came downstairs to grab his laptop for Read more...

The Great New Zealand Drug Review

Posted 8:22am Tuesday 18th September 2018 by Critic

Experimenting with altered states of consciousness is part of the human condition. Even in prehistoric times, scientists believe humans took ancient drugs to get high.  With this in mind, Critic decided to conduct a highly scientific review of some drugs, for your enjoyment (but Read more...

Getting High on History at the Whakamana Cannabis Museum

Posted 2:59pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Callum Doyle

It’s one of those things that shouldn’t exist but somehow still does, like my girlfriend. Yet somehow, in the middle of Dunedin’s central business district, beside the finest sex shop Princes Street has to offer, sits the only weed museum in the southern hemisphere (well, Uruguay Read more...

I Led a Police Hunt Through the Botans When I Was High

Posted 2:58pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Anonymous

Put down your Billy Mavs, put away your study notes and buckle in because I am about to tell you the greatest story of all time.  It all started two months after a nasty breakup. I still missed my ex. I missed his eyes, his flakiness, his unwashed foreskin, his intense fear of commitment. I Read more...

I Accidentally Smoked Laced Weed and It Fucked Me Up

Posted 2:55pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Anonymous

Weed is fucking terrifying.  Not a statement that you hear very often as for most people who use the drug it is a relatively positive experience, for me however this is not the case. Here is my story of a 2-day drug trip that has put me off any other illicit substances for life, which Read more...

I Was the World’s Worst Drug Dealer

Posted 2:54pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Chelle Fitzgerald interviews a self-confessed “terrible” former drug dealer. For anonymity’s sake, we’ll call him “Mr Drugs.”      Chelle: What drugs did you deal?  Mr. Drugs: Throughout the years I sold marijuana, (REAL)LSD, Read more...

What It’s Like To Be On Anti-Depressants

Posted 2:52pm Friday 14th September 2018 by Anonymous

For the past couple of years, I’ve had a consistent low mood; not showering, eating junk food, staying in bed all day. Yeah, I’m single boys, come and get it. However, despite all this, it was also kind of manageable. Dry shampoo and Blackboard slides were my sweet, sweet Read more...

Top 10 Mysteries of Otago University

Posted 12:18am Friday 7th September 2018 by Molly Codyre

In her final weeks of university, resident fourth year Molly Codyre set out to finally get to the bottom of the most mysterious, unexplainable and often annoying things about life at our beautiful, vomit scattered campus.    1. Why is the only tropical holiday I’m getting this Read more...

Dunedin Ghost Tours: A Journey Through a City’s Dark Past

Posted 10:01pm Thursday 6th September 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

On a still, chilly Wednesday night, fellow Critic writer Caroline Moratti and I find ourselves standing underneath a streetlamp in the Octagon. The pavement glitters with a sense of anticipation, hiding the untold stories of the night.  Waiting for Andrew “The Hair Raiser” Smith, Read more...

NZ Idol Winner Ben Lummis on Fame, Hummus, and a Comeback Tour that is DEFINITELY happening

Posted 12:13am Friday 31st August 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

Looking back, 2004 was the golden era for New Zealand television. We were so blessed by great faces appearing on our screens, such as DJ Vinyl Richie, Drew Neemia, Erin Simpson – it truly was the best of times. But since 2004 was such a long time ago, so many of these familiar faces have Read more...

I Made My Dad Join a Cult

Posted 12:09am Friday 31st August 2018 by Callum Doyle

You might know something about Scientology. Like, Tom Cruise is a part of it. And didn’t South Park do an episode on it or something? Bet you didn’t know, however, that the second ever Church of Scientology was based in New Zealand. That’s right, even when it comes to starting Read more...

Meet the People Who Protest Abortion Outside the Dunedin Hospital

Posted 8:50pm Thursday 30th August 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

The majority of abortions in New Zealand are deemed acceptable on the grounds of “serious danger to mental health”. I should know; I’ve had one myself. Conceiving on my 18th birthday during O-Week, what are the odds? Pretty high, if you’re me. Regardless, there would Read more...

The Carpet Critic – an Exposé on the Carpets of Otago

Posted 5:47pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by Sophia Carter Peters

Central Library Not the most appealing, but clean and does the job. Fantastic water absorption, your tears will just sink right in. Ruined somewhat by the obnoxious presence of AskOtago. Design: 2.5/5 Texture: 1/5 Aroma: 5/5 Cleanliness: 4.5/5 Water absorption: Read more...

The Great Critic Pub Crawl

Posted 5:22pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by Swilliam Shakesbeer

Three of our intrepid reporters went on a walk from Central Library to the Octagon. They came back five hours later, about $80 poorer, and much drunker.   Ombrellos This place is delightful and wholesome, like my kindergarten or my grandparents’ sex life. The main bar was closed Read more...

Critic Reviews: The Best Chinese Food in North Dunedin

Posted 4:56pm Thursday 16th August 2018 by David Emanuel

Chinese food is amazing. Simply relegating the entire genre to two words is a grave injustice. Anthony Bourdain said you can spend a lifetime studying Chinese culture and you won’t even scrape the surface. In Dunedin we are lucky to have a few good Chinese restaurants whilst having the ethnic Read more...

The People Behind Otago’s Favourite Facebook Pages

Posted 11:30pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Critic

In the glory days of the early 2000s, Facebook pages earned your likes by having hilarious names such as “I could tell you, but I’d rather show you through INTERPRETATIVE DANCE” and other such bizarro crap set loose upon the random XD quirky youths of the decade. Nowadays, no Read more...

Uncovering the Guys Behind New Zealand’s Craziest Conspiracy Website

Posted 11:19pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Joel MacManus

Trigger Warning: This article deals with anti-Semitic and transphobic conspiracy theorists. They are directly quoted, in their own words, using a number of offensive words and phrases.      January 19 2018 was a day that changed what normal meant in New Zealand’s Read more...

David with the Stars: Dance Superstar David Seymour strips his soul bare

Posted 11:08pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Editor’s Note: I just want to make it 100% clear that this is a real interview. All the quotes were actually spoken by David Seymour to Critic reporter Caroline Moratti, in a very awkward interview.  In 2018 a star was born. Dancing with the Stars was a life changing experience for Read more...

Nurse Joy?

Posted 8:12pm Thursday 9th August 2018 by Callum Doyle

After a day-long strike and nearly a year of negotiations, New Zealand Nurses Organisation has accepted the latest pay offer from their DHB employers, ending the threat of further strikes. Callum Doyle went to the Duendin protest to find out what it means and why it was necessary in the first Read more...

The Rookie’s Guide to Art Galleries

Posted 8:03pm Thursday 2nd August 2018 by Joel MacManus

The OUSA Art Gallery Crawl is back this Thursday. If you’re not an “art person” it can seem like a strange new world tomanoeuvre. But the payoff is huge. Not only will you impress potential sexual partners with your worldiness, but sometimes there’s free Read more...

I Live to Back-Trend

Posted 7:09pm Thursday 2nd August 2018 by Zoe Taptiklis

Fashion at Otago University in 2012 meant jeans and puffer vests as far as the eye could see. 2015 saw the rise of the striped top and activewear, a look which became so iconic that everyone was soon afraid to wear it.  In 2018 it’s looking like denim with block coloured tops, Read more...

Shiraz Sharon & Pinot Gris Paula : A Detailed Guide of Various Wine Mums

Posted 12:46am Monday 30th July 2018 by Henessey Griffiths

A couple of Fridays ago, I had the divine honour of seeing Dave Dobbyn live at The Cook. Aside from all the whipping and inappropriate “CHEEEAAAAHOOOOOS” that occurred, I felt myself more captivated by the audience around me than by Dave’s performance. We were the youngest in a sea Read more...

Dogs of Dunedin

Posted 12:29am Monday 30th July 2018 by Jessica Thompson Carr

Tom Tremewan runs the adorable Instagram page Dogs of Dunedin NZ, chronicling the bestest boyes and gurls in Dunedin. Critic caught up with him for a hard-hitting interview.    Where did the idea for this gram come from? It started off with me sending snapchats to my friends of Read more...

Meet the Conservation Dogs

Posted 5:55pm Friday 27th July 2018 by Ellen Rykers

You’ve probably met those nosy beagles at the airport. Those doe-eyed dogs that’ll sit earnestly next to your luggage while you protest your innocence, until the long-forgotten apple festering in the bottom of your backpack is revealed. Or maybe you’ve slunk past the doggos with a Read more...

Money and Bitches: Meet the Guy Who Makes a Living Rating Dogs on Twitter

Posted 6:41pm Thursday 26th July 2018 by Callum Doyle

If you’ve ever heard someone say the nonsensical words doggo, woofer or pupper, they may have suffered a serious stroke and require medical attention immediately. Or, they may have just been using some of the new slang words for “dog” that have become so popular that they’re Read more...

Chlöe Swarbrick wants to “make politics cool”

Posted 7:38pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Esme Hall

Chlöe Swarbrick says she’s “the perfect flatmate”. She’s out the door of her Wellington flat at 7am and back after 11pm. She has no time to cook, so never leaves dirty dishes. That is, of course, because she’s a Green MP in an eight-person caucus and handles nine Read more...

Accessible Sex

Posted 7:36pm Thursday 19th July 2018 by Caroline Moratti

Is sex a basic human right? Not for your parents hopefully, don’t picture that.  To access sex remains a struggle that plagues most of our lives. It involves showering regularly, wearing inappropriate amounts of deodorant, and forcing yourself to make small talk about their degree. But Read more...

Dunedin's Bar Stereotypes

Posted 5:46pm Thursday 12th July 2018 by Chelle Fitzgerald

Starters: Name: Jess 18 years old. Has a REAL I.D. Also seen in: St David, Arana, Central Library. Lives on Vodka Cruisers and Jägerbombs. Shows up at 9:30. Has way too much energy. Puts everything on daddy’s credit card but still complains about being “a broke Read more...

Telephones to Another World

Posted 5:43pm Thursday 12th July 2018 by Charlie O’Mannin

Bruce Mahalski collects skulls. Porcupine, tui, crocodile, human, cow and giraffe skulls decorate the front half of his Dunedin home, which he has turned into the Dunedin Museum of Natural Mystery, showcasing his skulls next to bones, fossils, “ethnographic” art, and whatever weird or Read more...

Reviewing Dunedin’s C-Graded Restaurants

Posted 9:57pm Thursday 5th July 2018 by Joel MacManus

Our intrepid reporters put their lives on the line to bring you cutting edge reviews of the eateries that Dunedin’s Health Inspectors have deemed least safe for human consumption.    Doughbin – The Bin This place is weird. As a bakery/Japanese restaurant, The Bin is Read more...

I See Music: What It’s Like Living with Synesthesia

Posted 9:53pm Thursday 5th July 2018 by Adelaide Dunn

The view from the living room window of my childhood home looks across Kaikorai Valley, a perfect skyline of hills rising to meet Flagstaff. As a four-year-old, I would trace my finger along the line of trees on top of those hills. Every now and then, the sound of a horn from the nearby train-tracks Read more...

A Good Keen Club: The Group That Is Changing The Way Students Eat At Otago

Posted 9:52pm Thursday 5th July 2018 by Jim Eunson

Many students are still struggling to afford healthy, nutritious meals on the daily. Rent, power, and other living expenses have an impact on the average student’s ability to eat meat and fish. Some would call on students to stop eating animal products altogether, and perhaps this is an Read more...