The Most Pointless Phrasebook You’ll Ever Read

The Most Pointless Phrasebook You’ll Ever Read

None of these phrases will help you find a train station. But at least you’ll learn some Arabic slang, a few Cherokee phrases, and a selection of Japanese inspirational quotes.

 

German

Er ist dumm wie Bohnenstroh.

Pronunciation: Ur ist dumm vee Bor-nen-straw.

He is as dumb as a bean straw. 

 

Da steppt der Bär!

Pronunciation: Da stept dear bear!

The bear dances there! (It will be a good party!)

 

Kein Schwein war da.

Pronunciation: Kyne shvyne vah da.

There weren’t any pigs there. (It was a shit party.)

 

Ist es klar wie Kloßbrühe?

Pronunciation: Ist es klah vee kloz-brew-yeh?

Is it as clear as dumpling broth? (Do you understand?)

 

Cherokee

Galiheli tsidenalv.

Pronunciation: Gah-lee-hay-lee jee-day-nalv.

Nice to meet you.

 

Osda nadvneha.

Pronunciation: O-sta nah-duh-nay-ha.

You’re doing well!

 

Agigage ogana jigotiha.

Pronunciation: Ah-gee-gah-gay o-gah-nah jee-go-tee-ha.

I see a red groundhog.

 

Kowisg tsaduliha?

Pronunciation: Ko-weesk ja-doo-lee-ha.

Do you want a coffee?

 

Spanish

Es como echar agua al mar.

Pronunciation: Ess koh-moh eh-char ah-gwa al mar.

It’s like throwing water in the sea. (It’s pointless.)

 

Tu eres mi media naranja.

Pronunciation: Two ear-es me may-dee-ah nah-rahn-ha.

You are my half orange. (You are my other half.)

 

Estoy temblando como un flan.

Pronunciation: Es-toy tem-blan-doh koh-moh oon flahn.

I am shaky like a flan pudding. (I am nervous.)

 

Necesitamos dar la vuelta a la tortilla.

Pronunciation: Ne-ce-see-tar-mohs darr lah vwelt-ah ah lah tort-eeya.

We need to flip the omelette. (We need to turn the situation around.)

 

Arabic

بعض أيام العسل، وبعض البصل أيام

Pronunciation: El donya badal, yom asal we yom basal.

Some days honey, some days onion. (You win some, you lose some.)

 

الجزمة

Pronunciation: Ya gazma!

You shoe! (An insult.)

 

صباح أل خير

Pronunciation: Sabah al Kheir.

Good morning. (Sarcastic, the equivalent of duh/wake up.)

 

شكو ماكو

Pronunciation: Shaku maku?

What is everything and nothing? (Not an existential riddle, actually just means ‘What’s up?’ in Iraqi slang.)

 

Japanese

石の上にも三年

Pronunciation: Ishi no ue nimo san nen.

Sit on a rock for three years and eventually it will warm up. (Hard times will soon be over.)

 

がんばって

Pronunciation: Ganbatte.

Do your best. (Good luck!)

 

鯛も一人はうまからず

Pronunciation: Tai mo hitter ha umakarazu.

Eaten alone, even sea bream loses its flavour. (Stick together.)

 

猿も木から落ちる

Pronunciation: Saru mo ki kara ochiru.

Even monkeys fall from trees. (Everybody makes mistakes.)

 

十人十色

Pronunciation: Jyunin toh iro.

Ten people, ten colours. (Respect our differences.)

 

Māori

Maramara keke.

Piece of cake.

 

Ka pai hoki koe!

Good on ya!

 

Tune tō pane ki te kōhua.

Cook your head in the pot. (An insult.)

 

Kāore te kumara e kōrero ana mo tōna ake reka.

The kumara doesn’t brag about its sweetness. (Stay humble.)

 

French

Je m'en moque comme de ma première chemise.

Pronunciation: Je mon mock comm der mah promi-ere che-mee-sa.

I care about this like I care about my very first shirt. (I don’t care.)

 

Va te faire cuire un œuf!

Pronunciation: Va tu fay-ir queer oon oh-iff.

Go and cook an egg! (Leave me alone!)

 

Ça n’a rien à voir avec la choucroute.

Pronunciation: Sah nah ree-en ah vwahr ah-veck lah shook-root.

That has nothing to do with sauerkraut. (That’s totally out of the blue.)

 

Autant pisser dans un violon!

Pronunciation: Ooh-tont pee-sear dons oon vee-oh-lon.

Pissing in a violin! (This is so pointless!)

This article first appeared in Issue 5, 2019.
Posted 11:36pm Thursday 21st March 2019 by Erin Gourley.