Archive

Local Produce | Neive Strang

Posted 9:51pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Caroline Moratti

Writing about music can be hard sometimes, much like a perfume commercial - how do you convey a sound, a smell, a sense? But to me, listening to Neive Strang is the same sensation as the first sizzle of onions in a pan. It’s delicious, intoxicating and it’s only the beginning. The Read more...

Alcohol Intervention

Posted 9:49pm Thursday 6th August 2020 by Naomii Seah

“Alcohol in Aotearoa is super prevalent in all our social activities and our lifestyle. When you want to celebrate a good day, you sink some piss; if you want to get over a bad day, you sink some piss; if you’re bored, you sink some piss. That social behaviour around drinking is Read more...

Let Them Eat Cabbage: The Wheres, Whats and Hows of Community Gardens Near Campus

Posted 8:25pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

No one ever told me how much admin making food would be. I miss the years of meals just manifesting before me three times a day. Now it’s up to ME to find fresh produce and limit my hot chip intake. Fortunately, hunting and gathering for yourself three times a day isn’t nail-pullingly Read more...

It’s Time to Duel: Meet Dunedin’s Tabletop Tycoon

Posted 2:35pm Thursday 30th July 2020 by Oscar Paul

Gregory Mansfield probably came out of the womb wearing a DuelDisk on his arm and Exodia in hand. At an older age, Gregory and his mates got back into YuGiOh! and all of its nostalgic glory. They were hooked on watching card unboxing videos, making their own decks and competing in and judging local Read more...

Curing the Common Cold

Posted 1:07pm Sunday 26th July 2020 by Naomii Seah

I’m sitting in my room with a friend, having a perfectly pleasant and innocuous conversation when I feel it. The little tickle in my throat. The wind in my windpipe. There’s a little moment where I think it won’t happen, and then it does: a sneeze, a cough, another sneeze and a Read more...

CRIME? Gay Paradise Ducks Relocated from Campus

Posted 1:04pm Sunday 19th July 2020 by Erin Gourley

Disclaimer: Please do not harass anyone mentioned in this story. Everyone is just doing what they think is best for the boys. Bill and Bill, the iconic gay paradise ducks that liked (PAST TENSE) to chill out on Union Lawn, were controversially uplifted and relocated by Bird Rescue Dunedin after Read more...

How to Tell if Your Flat is Haunted

Posted 10:32pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Ah, Dunedin houses. Since most of the houses in Studentville are a little (a lot) old, the usual quirks of ancient houses are common, slanted floors, water stains, and of course, ghosts. Not all ghosts are mean and dramatic, some are merely vibing on the astral plane and sometimes stir up some funky Read more...

The Great Critic Garlic Bread Review

Posted 7:49pm Thursday 16th July 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Garlic bread has to be one of the most humbling foods out there. On the outside it is but a simple meal of garlic butter and toasted bread. Yet, any garlic bread fan understands that there is much complexity to the dish. The pungent sting of garlic, coddled with the smooth undertones of butter, Read more...

The Tale of Two TJs: The Otago Student Living the Best of Both Worlds.

Posted 2:26pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Annabelle Vaughan

TJ Zee, better known by his stage name “ZExII” is one of Dunedin’s best emerging music acts, and is also just a generally cool guy. A Physiotherapy student by day, and a performer by night, one could even go as far to say that he is Dunedin’s very own Hannah Montana. Who, in Read more...

A White Woman With Bangs Tells You Which Planets Are Making You Sad

Posted 12:59pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Astrology is like a personality test, but cosmic and mean. In the stars lies a horribly accurate character analysis chart that will expose your flaws and potentially make you reevaluate your past relationships. You haven’t lived until you have your ass handed to you by the fucking planets. As Read more...

Tired of Tinder: A Return to The Dating Websites of Our Forefathers

Posted 12:47pm Sunday 12th July 2020 by Naomii Seah

It’s 2am, and I’m lying in bed swiping through Tinder for what feels like the 100th time this week. It’s post lockdown, and my rotation is getting a bit tight. At this point in my university career, it feels like I’ve gone through half the dating pool in Dunedin, and every Read more...

Poll: 91% of Otago Students Support Factory-Farming Kiwis on Stewart Island

Posted 3:26pm Sunday 5th July 2020 by Fox Meyer

Data doesn’t lie. More Otago students support factory-farming Kiwis on Stewart Island than legalising cannabis. These young patriots have a keen eye on creating a booming economy in the Southland/Rakiura area, with 100% responding that they’d support increasing jobs in the area. 100% Read more...

UniMart RTD Coffee Review

Posted 1:32am Friday 3rd July 2020 by Sinead Gill

Most people have never tried an RTD coffee (ready to drink. No, it doesn’t mean it is alcoholic), but you should. They are revolutionary. If I’d known they were a thing in first year, it might not have taken me five years to finish my degree. UniMart is full of them, and most of them are Read more...

Types of Sweater Boys

Posted 10:52pm Thursday 2nd July 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

The classic David Bain sweater These boys are omnipresent in your Politics, English, or Anthropology lectures. They think the bags under their eyes from staying up til 4am looking at Reddit threads makes the interesting and different, but it actually just makes them look tired. They WILL ask Read more...

A-Z OF DUNEDIN ARTISTS

Posted 4:33pm Sunday 24th May 2020 by Critic

Adelaide Cara: Alternative Pop Bad Sav: Alternative Rock Captain Saturated Planet: Indie Rock Death and the Maiden: Alternative Rock Élan Vital: Dark Disco Flyspray: Post-Punk Gulls: Ambient Electronica  Hot Donnas: Alternative Rock  Iron Mammoth: Alternative Read more...

Don't do the 30 Day Squat Challenge

Posted 7:23pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Ever since Dame Queen Nicki Minaj’s music videos emerged, I think a piece of all of us dreamt of having an ass so fat, so bodacious, that we would cry in the shower while doing a mere 15 squats naked to achieve what she has. Or maybe that was just me. Drenched in sweat from the gym that I Read more...

Critic Reviews Mayor Aaron Hawkin's Critic Music Reviews

Posted 6:56pm Thursday 21st May 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Aaron Hawkins: Mayor of Ōtepoti, antagonist of Dunedin News. Before his career in local government took off, Aaron was the Music Director and Breakfast Show Host for Radio One 91FM, and the Music Editor for Critic. 14 years later, it’s safe to say that Radio One and Critic now has a Read more...

Period Underwear: Worth it?

Posted 1:04am Friday 15th May 2020 by Andy Randell

Try something for me: what do you think of when I tell you to think of period products. You will have, no doubt, had tampons and pads spring to mind, maybe even the more recently popular moon cup, but how many of you thought of underwear itself? Probably very few of you did, unless you read the Read more...

Gender Diverse Takes On Periods

Posted 5:22pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Sinead Gill

There is a lot of stigma around periods. Not as much stigma as there is around gender diversity, though. So what if you were stuck in the middle of both discourses? This would be a shit menstruation issue without talking to the one group of menstruators who are most excluded when it comes to period Read more...

PMDD: PMS’s Evil Twin

Posted 4:30pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, more commonly known as PMDD, is a disorder that affects 1 in 20 people with uteruses but is relatively unknown. The symptoms of PMDD are extensive and can cause serious disruptions in day to day life, that often require medication. What is PMDD? Well, most people Read more...

Colonisation Made Periods Gross

Posted 4:16pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Waiwhero, mate marama, mate wāhine, paheke, te awa atua. There are many ways to describe menstruation for Māori, because it is an important part of life. It is a sign of whakapapa, connection to the land, connection to the gods. Menstruation was power - until Read more...

How to Free Bleed

Posted 4:14pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Naomii Seah

Periods are rough, messy, and miserable. Sanitary items are no better. Sometimes it’s just too much effort to find one, let alone buy them. Sometimes your flow is so light that a sanitary product just doesn’t seem worth it. Sometimes, you just need to free bleed. Here’s Read more...

How to Get $50 Worth From a Moon Cup When You Don’t Bleed Four Days a Month

Posted 4:01pm Thursday 14th May 2020 by Fox Meyer

Moon cups are great. They’re inconspicuous, reduce plastic waste, and they’re easily distributable to people with uteruses in developing nations. All my female friends were raving about them, and not one to miss out on the latest trend, I decided to invest and see what all the hype was Read more...

Fostering Animals: Yes or Yes?

Posted 4:59pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

It might sound obvious, but if you have a secure home and love animals, but don’t see yourself living in Dunedin forever, fostering is a great option. Fostering is a great way to get a cuddle fix while also socialising an animal so they are ready for a forever home. Depending on who you foster Read more...

UoO Hunger Games: Sims 4 Edition

Posted 2:57pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Critic

With (from left top:) Law Student, Girl Who Sleeps, Country Boy, A+ Student, Breatha, Thrifty Artsy Girl, and Jock   Sims 4 has made a resurgence during the lockdown. With no social interaction and nothing to do; what else will kill five hours in the blink of an eye? Killing sims is a Read more...

How to Look After House Plants

Posted 2:51pm Monday 11th May 2020 by Asia Martusia King

Congratulations, you have a bouncing baby houseplant. Doesn’t it look divine amongst your fairy lights and polaroids? Here’s how to keep it big, strong and alive so that it can one day look after you in your old age. Light of my life, fire of my loins Different plants require Read more...

YOU SHOULD KNOW THE NAME ROBERT LAWSON.

Posted 4:48pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Caroline Moratti

His name should be on your lips when you kiss your lover. There should be tattoos, monuments, babies, decorative gardens, all named in his honour. Robert Lawson carved the very fabric of Dunedin, sculpted our culture in his muscled hands. He designed the buildings you love, literally the only Read more...

How to Feng Shui Your Bedroom

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Naomii Seah

Every culture has its own superstitions. You’ve probably heard some of these from your grandma, or your mother or father, or your auntie. For me, it’s always been Feng Shui. My dad touts it like no tomorrow, and whenever I tell him something that’s going wrong in my life, his Read more...

Eating My Backyard: Can Foraged Foods Make a Delicious Dinner?

Posted 3:58pm Sunday 10th May 2020 by Wyatt Ryder

I’ve always liked the idea of growing my own food, but I am a very lazy man. Last week, though, I had a realisation: I’m already growing food. If animals can eat weeds, why can’t I? I grew up rural, so I had a vague idea of what was out there in terms of edible weeds. I did a Read more...

Dunedin TradeMe for 10 Dollars or Under

Posted 4:16pm Thursday 7th May 2020 by Saskia Rushton-Green

Here’s some of what’s currently available on trademe in Dunedin for 10 dollars and under.    1. These sexy belly button rings     2. This 75g container of spreadable chicken   3. Wow These ARE a bit Cute Bead Read more...

How to Make a Bong out of Literally Anything

Posted 5:33pm Thursday 30th April 2020 by Naomii Seah

I wasn’t the cool kid in high school. I had a few close friends, and lots of classmates, but I didn’t have status. I went to maybe a few high school parties, usually as a plus one, and lots of tame birthdays. The rest of the time, I was studying. Maybe that’s why it took me until Read more...

Living Without Time

Posted 12:30pm Friday 24th April 2020 by Fox Meyer

I’ve been wanting to live without time for a while now. I’d heard about a petition by a Noweigin town called Sommarøy, north of the Arctic Circle, which called for the abolishment of the 24 hour clock. The campaign asked: “Why do we need time and clocks when there is no Read more...

Surviving Long Distance

Posted 12:10pm Friday 24th April 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

For almost all couples, going long distance is generally the last thing you want to do. Critic spoke to couples who moved in together for lockdown to avoid doing just that. But what if you weren’t ready, or able, to do that with your partner? Or what if your significant other is your best Read more...

How to Hide Your Vaping From Your Parents

Posted 11:36am Friday 24th April 2020 by Caroline Moratti

During your tender, sweet time at the University of Otago, it’s highly probable that you’ve picked up a nicotine addiction. Let’s face it, sometimes there are parties so shit that you just need to smoke/vape outside in order to avoid your 2nd cousin making ‘come fuck Read more...

Which Witch is Which?

Posted 10:55am Thursday 23rd April 2020 by Fox Meyer

Spiritualism always seems to be in style. It’s time Critic provided a guide for the most common types of modern witches. If any of this makes you rethink your beliefs, you’re probably a shit witch.   The E-Witch Dresses in flowy, raggedy clothing that looks antique but was Read more...

The Scientist and Her Thirteen Ant Colonies

Posted 12:04pm Tuesday 21st April 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

The transition to online classes has been difficult for many students. But what if your studies required access to labs and materials that you can’t recreate from home? What if, say, your research included looking after live creatures? Critic spoke to Eloise Lancaster, an ecology Masters Read more...

How to Spice Up Your Zoom Lectures

Posted 10:42am Tuesday 21st April 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

It's been a few weeks now, and Zoom lectures have well and truly lost their novelty. Lecturers are trying their best, but like some in-person lectures, classes can get boring. Here are some proven ways to spice up your Zoom lectures, keeping yourself alert and ready to learn. Put a Read more...

How to Find a Boyfriend in Club Penguin

Posted 3:28pm Tuesday 14th April 2020 by Caroline Moratti

With Club Penguin back up and running (praise be), I thought I would use this bountiful opportunity to get something I’ve only ever dreamed about: a boyfriend.  The new CP is slightly different: there’s ads on the loading page for one matter and everyone is a member. The class Read more...

A Definitive Ranking of the Uni Clocktower Bongs

Posted 3:38pm Tuesday 7th April 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Everytime I sit in my room, the clocktower’s flat chimes remind me that my time in this world is fleeting. Every bong that rattles through my window slowly drives me insane.  Because I have nothing else to do, and to help you all feel a little bit closer to campus, I have categorised Read more...

A Tale of Two Servers: UniCol and Locals

Posted 8:48pm Thursday 2nd April 2020 by Wyatt Ryder

Good and evil. Light and dark. Yin and yang. Mine and craft.  There are few things in life more wondrous than the joy of sharing a beautiful blocky world with your friends. All the epic gamers who haven’t got the new Animal Crossing are spending their lockdown on Minecraft. This Read more...

Essential Dealing: How Unlicensed Pharmacists Ensure a Clean Supply

Posted 8:23pm Wednesday 1st April 2020 by Sinead Gill

If there is ever a time for weed to be legal, it is during a pandemic. Personally, my anxiety has been at an all time high, though I am slowly learning to be kinder to myself for not being as productive as usual. Sometimes, the only way I can sleep is with a cheeky bit of the dev’s Read more...

Art Hoe Training

Posted 3:25pm Sunday 29th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Famous museums all around the world are offering virtual tours of their exhibits to help pass the endless void of time during this quarantine period. That’s right, VR isn’t just for porn. Now’s your chance to one up that flatmate that went to Europe once and never shuts up about Read more...

The Ultimate Guide to Starting a Flat Orgy

Posted 8:31pm Friday 27th March 2020 by Naomii Seah

Step one Start off nice and slow. You don’t want to spook anyone. Complain very loudly about the fact that you’re not having sex while in isolation during flat dinner, or whenever you’re all congregated together. Step two A few days later, suggest that you all watch porn Read more...

How to Party 2 Meters Apart

Posted 4:44pm Tuesday 24th March 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

It’s that sick season and we shouldn’t be out here playing games with any virus, period. But. Dunedin has a party reputation that needs to be upheld for the sake of media articles all over New Zealand, so that our grandparents can post them on our Facebook page saying "Kyle Read more...

How to Take Feet Pics

Posted 8:42pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Critic

For those of you whose casual employment is drying up and who are thinking about ways to make money from home by selling pictures of your feet, Critic has you covered.   The feet: Literally any feet will do. The more natural, the better - leave those beautiful little toe hairs alone. Read more...

Students “In Limbo” Waiting for Covid-19 to Hit Campus

Posted 7:33pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Sinead Gill

Otago students are “scared”, “concerned”, and “feel as if [their] whole lives are about to come toa stand-stil” over the recent Covid-19 outbreak. Last Tuesday, students came together to celebrate St Patrick’s day in what many considered the final send Read more...

What to Do in Self-Isolation

Posted 6:35pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Henessey Griffiths

Everyone is freaking out about Coronavirus at the moment, buying mass amounts of toilet paper and hand sanitizer, just in case. The fear of the unknown has taken us over. What if it hits Dunedin? What if you get it? What if everything gets shut down and you don’t have enough supplies to last Read more...

Seagulls: An Exposé

Posted 6:33pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Sophia Carter Peters

Seagulls, the resident shit cunts of almost every city in New Zealand. Despite interacting with them on a daily basis, there remains much unknown to the general public about them. How long can they fly? What are their intentions? Do they have a supportive father figure? One of the biggest Read more...

Kebab House

Posted 6:32pm Thursday 19th March 2020 by Kaiya Cherrington

Operating a family business can be tough. Long days, commitment to work, and family time 24/7. Yet somehow, a few full-time students and their father run a kebab shop specialising in Afghan food in a place that is very different from Afghanistan: North Dunedin. I decided to sit down and talk to Read more...

Students to Watch: Hamish and Angus

Posted 6:51pm Thursday 12th March 2020 by Oscar Paul

Hamish Todd and Angus Tylee are proof that, sometimes, a mate’s hairbrained scheme isn’t as cooked as you might first think. From a bedroom in Arana (lol) in 2017, the duo deduced that if no one else would bring drum and bass to Dunedin, then, fuck it, why couldn’t they just do it? Read more...