Archive

4 Modern Dating Situations And How To Deal With Them

Posted 11:51am Sunday 4th October 2026 by Jesse Valpy

Dating isn’t easy, especially at university. Everything’s changed since our parents were courting each other via carrier pigeon, so we’ve put together some advice applicable to today’s dating scene. This isn’t one-size-fits-all, but it’s a starting point.  Read more...

Help! I’m In A Homoerotic Friendship!

Posted 11:50am Sunday 4th October 2026 by Critic

Relationships are not a concrete concept, but rather something much more fluid. This may very well be one of the biggest lessons I have learnt since moving out of home and going to university. ‘Boyfriend and girlfriend’ is not a rigid term, it turns out. The more people you meet and form Read more...

What’s Your Number?

Posted 2:12pm Sunday 27th September 2026 by Haritha Surendran Nair

Hector* clocks in at 7, Tonya* at 10, Dominica* at 16 and Augusto*? A solid 41. Get your mind out of the gutter, folks – I’m not talking about that number. I’m talking about a number that – through no fault of your own – can change your life, make or break your dream Read more...

Your Body, On Drugs: What's Actually Happening in There?

Posted 2:09pm Sunday 27th September 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Today is a very special day. Today, we are riding the Magic School Bus into our friend Sally. Sally is having a very normal night for an Otago student. There’s alcohol in her stomach, caffeine keeping her eyes open and nicotine being passed around. As the evening progresses, things are Read more...

Flatting Rights 101: What They Don’t Tell You

Posted 11:48am Sunday 20th September 2026 by Pieta Campbell, Jackson Larner, Ivy Turner and Jack Vivian

Have you had some dodgy experiences in your time flatting? Do you wanna know if your landlord is a GC or just taking advantage of the fact you're a student? Are all flats meant to smell musty and have drains that don't actually drain? Take this quiz to test out your flatting knowledge, Read more...

Critic Te Ārohi’s Guide to BYO Wine Pairings

Posted 11:37am Sunday 20th September 2026 by Critic Staff

There comes a time in every student's life when you must stop choosing wine based solely on what's cheapest, has the cutest bottle, or contains the most alcohol. Not every time, obviously – we’re not made of money. But perhaps for one glorious evening, while sitting in a BYO and Read more...

Tipihaere in Tōkyō

Posted 12:29pm Sunday 13th September 2026 by Brady Simeon

There is something slightly unsettling about turning 21. Everyone makes such a fuss about it that you start wondering whether you’re supposed to feel different when the number changes. Spoiler: it doesn’t. I’d spent enough time imagining the usual party: a big venue, an even bigger Read more...

GRWM: Pounamu Palette

Posted 12:27pm Sunday 13th September 2026 by Jessie-Jade Witeri (Ngāti Whakāue, Te Whakatōhea, Ngāti Ranginui, Ngāti Whanaunga)

Imagine the South Island launching its own eyeshadow palette. Crack open the compact, and you’ll find smoky forest greens, creamy blue sheens, leafy olives, and icy shimmers that easily double as highlight. Except this collection isn’t sitting beneath the fluorescent lights at Mecca; it Read more...

Find Your Feel-Good Fit

Posted 12:23pm Sunday 13th September 2026 by Te Āwhina Brundell

Let’s be real: exams are around the corner, and as a working student doing my master’s and juggling everything in between, I know how quickly hauora can slip down the priority list. And when life gets this busy, it’s hard not to look to the endless wellness advice filling our feeds Read more...

Are You Bound For Burnout?

Posted 12:21pm Sunday 13th September 2026 by Te Awhirēinga Heperi

Uni life can be a lot, but the end of the semester is drawing near – and so are those assessments and exams. Are you keeping your hauora in check, or are you one deadline away from a meltdown? Take the quiz, check in with yourself, and see where you’re at. Your alarm goes off at 8am. Read more...

We’re All Friendless Losers

Posted 11:45am Sunday 6th September 2026 by Saraia Allais

Every morning I wake up and check in on my friends.  One’s in New York making a protein smoothie. Another's in LA getting her biweekly spray tan. A third is in London telling me how their ex traumatized them. None of these people know who I am.  I’m spending my time Read more...

The Brunch Theory

Posted 11:26am Sunday 6th September 2026 by Imogen Perry

Relationships are out. Brunch is in. Everyone knows it. But what about those brave soldiers trapped somewhere in the in-between, balancing the orgasmic elation of overpriced breakfast foods, with the heavy burden of commitment, co-dependence and having regular sex with the same person? Don’t Read more...

5 Thing I Think the Man Had a Hand In

Posted 1:19pm Sunday 23rd August 2026 by Saraia Allais

For legal purposes, I reject the term “conspiracy theorist”. It makes people think about ol’ Uncle Jack sitting on his front porch in a tinfoil hat with a rifle across his lap. That’s not me. I am a well-educated, highly suspicious, and arguably brave Read more...

Home

Posted 11:32am Sunday 23rd August 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

I have spent five years ruminating on the idea of home. On where it is, what it is, and what it means to me, and to those around me. I was lucky. I grew up in a happy family who lived in the same house from when I was six months old until I left for uni, so I had never really needed to question Read more...

Red Card Inspo

Posted 9:58am Sunday 16th August 2026 by Stella Weston

This one is specifically for the 26.1% of the 2026 Critic Census respondents who, when asked if they’d participated in a red card in the last year, responded “What’s a red card?”  Disgusting.  The red card is a cornerstone of the mythical institution that is Read more...

How To De-AI-ify Your Life

Posted 9:53am Sunday 16th August 2026 by Hanna Varrs

AI tools are pretty much everywhere, and Big Tech has done a stellar job in normalising their incorporation into just about every digital product we use.  What I will say is that I am not anti-AI in any blanket statement sense. I do believe that there are applications of AI that will do Read more...

Which Shrek Character Are You?

Posted 3:44pm Saturday 8th August 2026 by Saraia Allais

With Shrek 5’s teaser trailer finally out, it was only a matter of time before Critic Te Ārohi asked the important questions. Are you an emotionally stunted ogre? A professional yapper? Or just Lord Farquaad with a student loan? There's only one way to find out.  1. Read more...

Potion Recipes

Posted 3:36pm Saturday 8th August 2026 by Stella Weston

Sometimes no amount of logical thinking, communication, or personal growth can save you. Sometimes you need something a bit stronger: a little divine intervention, a sprinkle of fairy dust, and true manifestation. After years of research (and several misfortunate magical accidents), Critic Te Read more...

We Cursed the ODT Via Etsy Witch

Posted 3:34pm Saturday 8th August 2026 by Critic

There comes a point in every publication's life where conventional dispute resolution has run its course. In Critic Te Ārohi’s case, it happened one hundred and one years in. You can write a letter to the editor. You can request a correction. You can complain privately in the Read more...

40 Ways to Start a Conversation

Posted 11:27am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

As many of you will have experienced recently, tutorials have just started back up. And with the return of tuts comes one of university’s most painful traditions: the dreaded ice breaker. It always starts the same way. “Tell us your name, where you’re from, and what you did over Read more...

Bars With Activities

Posted 11:25am Sunday 2nd August 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Let's be honest: nights out at the pub have gotten a little stale. After a few rounds of beating the same dead horse, someone inevitably ends up scrolling Instagram reels and suddenly the night feels less like a fun social outing and more like an obligation to live the “Scarfie Read more...

Critic Te Ārohi’s Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming a LinkedIn Influencer

Posted 9:46am Sunday 26th July 2026 by Critic

As students enter university, many (hopefully) age out of Snapchat, and are introduced to a new beast: LinkedIn. If you thought sending streaks was as bleak as it gets, the corporate world has blessed us by making its very own social media platform. The thought of scrolling through the achievements Read more...

Stories From The U-Bar Cleaner

Posted 9:41am Sunday 26th July 2026 by The Cleaner

Good afternoon Critic, I am writing this letter as I think I have some stories you would find interesting. I have been the sole cleaner for U-Bar for the last three years, and let me tell you – I have seen some shit. Being the cleaner has had both pros and cons, and now that I am Read more...

The Social Politics of Vaping

Posted 9:19am Saturday 18th July 2026 by Bella Bates

Few objects in student culture possess the same social utility as the vape. Simultaneously a nicotine delivery device, conversation starter, social bargaining chip, flirtation mechanism, and communal ritual, the vape has quietly become one of the defining artefacts of contemporary youth interaction. Read more...

The Official Moral Alignment Chart of Campus Doors

Posted 9:14am Saturday 18th July 2026 by Harry Almey

The University of Otago is a strange and confusing place. Open a sciency door in Mellor Labs and somehow find yourself in a History lecture. A BCommer opens a glass door in the Business School, and a Theatre Studies class turns around. University is little more than staggering from strange doors to Read more...

Survivor Player Profiles

Posted 4:27pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by Critic

The cast has been chosen. Alliances will form. The immunity idols have been hidden. Over the coming months, the first ever Critic Survivor episodes will be released twice weekly as twelve contestants battle through challenges, betrayals, and any other chaos ourgamemakers choose.  But Read more...

The Many Flatting Zones

Posted 3:22pm Saturday 11th July 2026 by Jonathan McCabe

As winter settles over North Dunedin and the sun starts setting before dinner, a familiar anxiety begins spreading through the student population – especially in halls. It starts with an overheard conversation. A rumour that some groups have already signed their flats. A friend mentioning a Read more...

Hot or Not: Trends of Otagooooooo

Posted 11:58am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Student culture changes fast. One week, everyone’s in jorts and shotgunning Cody’s in their mates flat. Next, they’re wearing quarter zips, training for a half marathon, and spending $14 on a strawberry matcha because it's “better for cortisol.” Somewhere between Read more...

TRIPLE TROUBLE: Student presidents CAUGHT living DOUBLE LIVES in BOMBSHELL INVESTIGATION

Posted 11:56am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Matilda Rumball-Smith

In a shocking display of coordinated corruption, OUSA President Daniel Leamy and Te Rōpū Māori Tumuaki Takirua Jarna Flintoff and Sami Harrison Dunn have allegedly fooled and deceived the hard-working student body. Critic Te Ārohi would say this is the biggest scandal to hit Read more...

Can You Resist A Scandalous Rumour?

Posted 11:46am Saturday 23rd May 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

1. You come back to your flat after locking in at Central for most of the day. Your favourite flatmate is cooking dinner, so you decide to hang out for a while. What is your chosen topic of conversation? A: You give them a run through of your day, no matter how boring and uneventful it was. B: Read more...

Literary Society x Critic Te Ārohi: Writing Competition

Posted 12:02pm Sunday 17th May 2026 by Literary Society

Somewhere Between Leaving and Arriving Phoebe Rodgers August, 2023 – Portland, Maine Mom and Dad don’t ask where she went. She observes the tide pulling out slowly, leaving everything exposed for a moment before it disappears again. Her hair remains in knots, she leaves Read more...

Leith Street Residents at Gloriavale

Posted 9:57am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Jesse Valpy

Gravel rattles underneath tyres, fog reaches out from hills Pulling us in, wrapping around Grey path yawns further, a vehicle rattles across cattle-grate Solemn eyes and fixed faces, children in back, adults in front We fidget, and watch, they watch, and disappear Back into the fog, as quick Read more...

How to Decode Politicians: My (opinionated) 6-step guide to understanding their bullshit

Posted 9:55am Sunday 10th May 2026 by Saraia Allais

"Speech is power: speech is to persuade, to convert, to compel." — Ralph Waldo Emerson The Merriam Webster dictionary defines a politician as “a person experienced in the art or science of government. Especially: one actively engaged in conducting the business of a Read more...

A New Zealand Celebrity Hit Me Up On Tinder At 19

Posted 8:14pm Friday 8th May 2026 by Critic

Critic Te Ārohi can verify that this celebrity is indeed a household name in Aotearoa. We’ve seen the messages, listened to voice memos, and seen the verified account linked to everything. We just don’t want to get in legal trouble by naming this guy.  When I was 19, my Read more...

Parental Invasion: Critic Te Ārohi’s Guide To A Flawless Family Visit

Posted 2:36pm Sunday 3rd May 2026 by Harriet Gowing

Yay! The olds are heading over for a visit to our little slice of heaven. Here at Critic Te Ārohi, we have 101 years worth of uni experience, so of course we’ve got some advice. We’re here to help you seem like a functioning student, make the most of their visit, and actually see Read more...

A Critical, In Depth Investigation into the Soup Habits of the New Zealand Grindr Community

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Via Hooks

I set out to answer the question plaguing the minds of touch-starved homosexuals everywhere: what is the ideal soup to make for a Grindr hook-up?  You may ask: why Grindr specifically? And after you ask that, you may then ask: why are you finding out soup popularities from Grindr Read more...

People of Hyde

Posted 12:59pm Sunday 26th April 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Hyde Street Party is the best day of the year for any self respecting Otago student.  Hyde Street Party has become a sacred tradition of the student body. The thrill of putting your flatmates names in the lottery, hoping to receive that blessed email saying “YOU’RE GOING TO THE Read more...

Which Otago Uni Library Are You?

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by Jesse Valpy

Because who wouldn’t want to know which study spot you’d be reincarnated as in your next life? Here is a quick and effective procrastination tool which will leave you reflecting on your life’s journey, and all the choices that led up to this point.  Before everyone starts Read more...

The Ultimate 4/20 Itinerary

Posted 1:14pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by Critic

4/20. For an atheist stoner like myself, this could be my favorite holiday of the year (aside from Thanksgiving). It even hits close to home – the term “420” was coined by a group of high schoolers about 10 minutes from where I grew up in California. They’d meet up after Read more...

You Cannot Be What You Cannot See

Posted 3:22pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

When you think of drugs, your mind probably goes straight to the obvious – weed, party culture, the spectacle of harm. But the substances most deeply embedded in Aotearoa’s everyday life rarely attract the same scrutiny. Sugar, alcohol, and caffeine have been normalised to the point of Read more...

Critic’s Vice Purity Test

Posted 3:18pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Critic

The Critic Te Ārohi Vice Purity Test serves as a segue from O-week to what a couple of Critic writers think encapsulates University life.  It's a voluntary opportunity for O-week groups to bond, and for students to track the maturation of their experiences throughout Read more...

Weed, The Gateway Drug

Posted 3:11pm Saturday 11th April 2026 by Critic

Cannabis has spent decades carrying the label of a “gateway drug.” For most young people , the phrase feels outdated and inaccurate: a relic left over from Harold's discussions and stern talks with our parents that convinced us one joint would inevitably lead to heroin. But by the Read more...

How best to spend your mid-semester break

Posted 12:06pm Sunday 29th March 2026 by Jesse Valpy

Ah yes, the age-old question: What to do during the first break of the year. It's a strange, liminal period where lectures disappear, responsibilities feel like they temporarily evaporate, and you're left alone with your thoughts (scary). The opportunities are endless, so I’ve decided Read more...

A Culture Carol: Dunedin’s Ghost of Student Bars Past, Present and Future

Posted 9:38pm Saturday 21st March 2026 by Jesse Valpy, Hanna Varrs & Molly Smith-Soppet

Dick is a Castle Street man, through and through. Everyone knows a Dick. If you've spent longer than ten minutes North of the campus, you’ve probably met one. Dick lives in a mouldy flat halfway down Castle, swears flat parties are the pinnacle of student culture, and believes that Read more...

A Personal Essay Dissecting The Male Loneliness Epidemic

Posted 9:27pm Saturday 21st March 2026 by Harry Almey

CW: Mentions of suicide The male loneliness epidemic. As a man with many many women friends, I’ve heard plenty of discussion about it. “The male loneliness epidemic isn't real, y'know," my colleague told me one day. "Guys suck anyways, they deserve to be alone." Read more...

How to Curate The Perfect Instagram Dump

Posted 7:56pm Saturday 21st March 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

The Instagram dump is not just a post – it's an art form. A carefully curated collection of snapshots of your life. Whether it's blurry photos, sunburnt faces, or suspiciously aesthetic food photos, they all communicate one simple message: I have a better life than you, see? Now Read more...

An American Exchange Student’s Welcome to Ōtepoti, Aotearoa

Posted 7:33pm Saturday 14th March 2026 by Dylan O'Connor

One month ago – after a hop, skip, and a jump all the way from not-so-sunny Northern California, I arrived in New Zealand for the first time in my life. I’m here on a study abroad semester – which is technically slightly different than an exchange term, though I wouldn’t be Read more...

Who Gets to Be High?

Posted 11:41am Sunday 8th March 2026 by Critic

The big move South to university opened my world.  One night you’re sitting at home with your parents, half-listening to them hammer in their values and opinions at the dinner table. Next, you’re living in close quarters with a few hundred frothy eighteen year olds. People from Read more...

Four Days In The Belly Of The Beast

Posted 11:35am Sunday 8th March 2026 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

I went to London to see what all the fuss was about. After all, it has a long history of looking in our direction first. It’s the third week of uni, which means I should be pretty locked in: highlighting readings, colour-coding my calendar, and convincing myself this is the semester I Read more...

Rob Roy: The Ultimate Guide to Hurrying The Fuck Up and Ordering

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 1st March 2026 by Imogen Perry

Potential laxative. Occasional platonic matchmaker. Guaranteed temporary serotonin release. Ice-cream. The lifeline of the student population, but only after a long hard day of pretending to study at Central. Located on the corner of George and Albany Street, Rob Roy is essentially an institution: a Read more...

George Street Block-by-Block

Posted 3:07pm Sunday 22nd February 2026 by Harry Almey

Sitting in Woodhaugh Gardens on a lovely summer day, I got to thinking — being a Dunedin local is a funny thing. I mean, it has to be, right? You spend at least five years perfectly aware of the drunken shenanigans, Boganmobiles, and broken glass everywhere. If you were unfortunate enough to Read more...

Flatwarmings: How to Keep the Pāti Hearty

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 22nd February 2026 by Te Awhirēinga Heperi

E te whānau, it’s that time of year again. Whether you're with last year’s crew, a new flat group entirely, or you’ve just scrolled past your fifth Flatpack ad of the day, we all have one thing in common: flatwarmings. Your very first host. Yes, one of the most illustrious Read more...

Activating the Māori Radar

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 22nd February 2026 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

I remember making the big move like it was yesterday. Spoiler: it wasn’t. What I do remember the clearest is how quickly uni can make you feel anonymous – like everyone else got a handbook you somehow missed. Don’t worry, you haven’t. Most people are just better at Read more...

Cheap As Chips! Critic’s Summer Goodies

Posted 4:10pm Monday 13th October 2025 by Critic Staff

Every summer, students travel far and wide across the motu for the break. Critic Te Ārohi staff members reached out to local secrets from their own hometowns to score student discounts*. Your mission: explore your backyard this summer and enjoy these discounts on us. Record your journey in the Read more...

Skulls, Sea-Shanties & a Full Cream Speight’s: A Farewell Tour of Ōtepoti

Posted 2:29pm Monday 13th October 2025 by Adam Stitely

It dawned on me this semester that these months would be my last in Dunedin. There was so much I still hadn't done. What more of the weird, wacky, and wonderful was yet to be seen? As the stress of the end of semester hit, the ominous cloud of exams loomed, and decisions about the future needed Read more...

Who Said That?

Posted 2:20pm Monday 13th October 2025 by Stella Weston, Matilda Rumball Smith & Molly Smith-Soppet

After a long hard year here at Critic Te Ārohi, we decided to bring you a little game for the end of the semester. On the left page you’ll find illustrated portraits of a handful of campus characters – the high strung BSc, the alternative postgrad, the over-eager American exchange Read more...

Sins & Virtues of Flatting

Posted 9:05am Monday 6th October 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Seven Sins  Pride Pride is the over-inflated sense of superiority. The prideful flat is one that considers themselves above the simple tasks that hold flats and the shared Otago experience together. But such pride is, as always, a curse. Pride is selling tickets to a flat party. Pride is Read more...

Penetrating the Perfect Pussy Problem

Posted 10:53pm Saturday 4th October 2025 by Esme Hall

Content warning: Racism I can’t remember how it started. There was no inciting incident that compelled me to question my labia. Perhaps because I was raised by lesbian parents with a strong hippie persuasion, and (radical) feminist ideology being passed around the dining table as if it were Read more...

Asking for a Friend

Posted 9:51pm Saturday 4th October 2025 by Campus Support Services

Student life isn’t always easy. For Mental Health and Wellbeing Week, campus-based support services – Student Health and OUSA Student Support – answer your questions with advice on everything from how to manage your workload through burnout or grief, to dealing with flatcest or Read more...

Where the Fuck the Function?!

Posted 10:49pm Sunday 28th September 2025 by Lily Jane

There is no feeling more rewarding than waking up at 11:45am, with no thoughts in your dusty brain other than “ouch, my head hurts,” followed by: “Did we just host the party of the century?”. Hosting isn't just about shoving every person you know into a room with a JBL Read more...

Stock Your Flat For Free

Posted 10:46pm Sunday 28th September 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Disclaimer (because someone will ask): This is satire but also probably some good advice. Use your critical thinking skills to determine which is which.   So, you’ve blown your last $20 on a hungover Hunger Buster. Fear not, Dunedin is a magical place filled with many Read more...

Everything I know About Hate

Posted 7:50pm Sunday 28th September 2025 by Tristan Shand

It was my first year at university when I read Dolly Alderton’s book Everything I Know About Love. Going into it, I wanted to understand what love meant. For Dolly, it was platonic friendships with women where she finally understood what that pesky little word signified. For me it was a little Read more...

New Zealand Young Writers Fest: A Review

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 21st September 2025 by Stella Weston

Disclaimer: I’m really super biased — this was one of the coolest things I’ve ever had the privilege of being a part of.  The New Zealand Young Writers Festival celebrated its eleventh year in 2025. Beyond promoting the voices of young writers aged 15-35 over the weekend of Read more...

The Road to Te Huinga Tauira

Posted 6:06pm Sunday 21st September 2025 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

Porourangi Templeton-Reedy – Ngāti Porou, Ngāi Tūhoe, Tainui Jacqueline Te Kani-Nankivell – Te Aitanga-a-Māhaki, Ngāti Porou, Ngāti Maniapoto, Ngāpuhi Every year, tauira Māori (students) from across the motu (country) gather under one roof Read more...

The 24th Annual Critic Fish & Chip Review

Posted 5:44pm Sunday 21st September 2025 by Hugh Askerud

In many ways, fish and chips embody the ideal student: well-cooked, sopping with grease, and wrapped in paper. Well…maybe we’re not directly comparable, but there is something studenty about fish and chips, trust. More importantly, fish and chips are one of the few ways students have a Read more...

Flaunt Your Fashion

Posted 1:50pm Monday 15th September 2025 by Gemella Reynolds-Hatem (Ngāi Tahu: Ngāi Tūāhuriri, Ngāti Waewae, Ngāti Hāteatea)

Open my whakapapa and you won’t find a tidy capsule collection, but a wardrobe crowded with pieces that refuse a singular aesthetic. Among the Jordans, arab silks sit beside pounamu pieces; between the stacks of NFL jerseys, a hijab folds next to Māori-made designer. It’s messy and Read more...

From Ūawa to the Unknown: Six Weeks Across Taiwan

Posted 1:45pm Monday 15th September 2025 by Tenaya Brown (Te Aitanga a Hauiti ki Ūawa)

My journey started back home in Ūawa, with my whānau helping me gear up for my first-ever trip abroad – beyond Aussie, at least. From Christchurch, across to Hong Kong and finally over to Taiwan, it took five months of prep before we were even ready to step on that plane. Leaving Read more...

Champion One Day, Crumbling the Next

Posted 1:40pm Monday 15th September 2025 by Jessie-Jade Witeri (Ngāti Whakāue, Te Whakatōhea, Ngāti Ranginui, Ngāti Whanaunga)

You probably know the entire menu at Burger N Beast off by heart, but couldn’t explain where your degree comes from without citing another white guy. Brutal? Maybe. True? Definitely. And before you clutch your pearls, name one Māori scholar without opening Google. Thought so. Let’s Read more...

Microwave Meals for the Maniacal Masses

Posted 9:10am Monday 8th September 2025 by Via Hooks

Need to prep for an all-day study sesh? Want to eat a hot meal on campus instead of in your cold flat? Keen to push the edges of culinary possibility and ethics? I (might) have the solution for you. A few weeks ago – armed with several microwave-safe containers, a lack of sleep, and one Read more...

Material Māori Gewl

Posted 5:50pm Sunday 7th September 2025 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

Apparently, 2016 is trending, and it’s an aesthetic. But my 2016 wasn’t all Tumblr edits, Musical.lys, or Kylie Lip Kits. While the internet’s version of that year was selling girls a pastel-filtered summer of promise, mine was very different. I’d been dragged back up to my Read more...

Why You Should Give A Shit About Local Body Elections

Posted 10:33am Sunday 7th September 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

If you're into trawling local Facebook groups then you've probably seen the words “Dunedin City Council” floating around somewhere. But what even is the DCC, and why should you, an ordinary student just trying to survive the dog-eat-dog world of academia, care? While it is Read more...

Campus Cryptids

Posted 10:06am Monday 25th August 2025 by Via Hooks

Cryptozoology is part of a long line of various pseudosciences, promising to reveal hidden worlds that traditional sciences fail to properly comprehend. You may have heard of many ‘cryptids’, like mothman, bigfoot and the chupacabra. We at Critic Te Ārohi believe that Dunedin is Read more...

I Fucking LOVE Mosgiel

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 24th August 2025 by Gryffin Blockley

Powering over the steep hill of the Southern Motorway, your eyes are blessed by scenery so beautiful it may force you to pull over. As the sun beams on the broad expanses of the Taieri Plains, a magical town sits in your eyeline. With just under 15,000 residents, the quaint town is not too busy like Read more...

“Waste of Money": Sexy Garfield vs the world

Posted 11:53pm Sunday 17th August 2025 by Jonathan McCabe

Sexy, erotic, and throbbing. That is the best way to describe Emily Davidson's 2017 magnum opus entitled Lasagnerie. Exhibited in the OUSA reception for all to see, entrenched within a gilded frame, is the portrait depicting a seductive cartoon of Garfield dressed in lingerie, stockings, and Read more...

The Great Ōtepoti Flag Referendum

Posted 11:03pm Sunday 17th August 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Flags are a way for communities to display their collective pride and patriotism. Currently, Dunedin does not have a cohesive identity. As the story goes with university towns, every three years there is a whole new batch of students, and therefore a whole new identity. A flag would give students Read more...

Diary of a Tortured Artist

Posted 10:53pm Sunday 17th August 2025 by Ellie Bennett

7am  My alarm goes off at 7, like it does every morning (except for Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays, and Tuesdays, which are my designated days of rest). I let it ring for a while, contemplating staying in bed. Artists are an amalgamation of feelings. I feel Read more...

Get the look — lecturer edition

Posted 10:08pm Sunday 10th August 2025 by Stella Weston

Disclaimer: I mean no offence, please don’t fail me. Nothing but respect for academics <3 Law Starting strong, law lecturers have known who they are from a young age. Law school was such a war for them that they have harboured that pain within them – determined to take it out on Read more...

Romanticising Getting Dressed

Posted 9:00pm Sunday 10th August 2025 by Grace Hards

Every morning I look at myself in the mirror and ask the world’s most terrifying question: Who do I want to be today? It’s not just about putting on pants one leg at a time. It’s a full-blown existential crisis, performed in front of a bathroom mirror, under fluorescent Read more...

Popping Cherries: Virginity Horror Stories

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Stella Weston

Over the last three months I’ve been asking my friends, friends of friends, distant associates, and girls I’d met ten minutes ago in the bathroom how they lost their virginity. I was surprised at how many women were open about it and happy to yap – some with nice wholesome Read more...

The Flatmate Erotica: Within Or Without You

Posted 7:55pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Lady Jane Grey

There’s something uniquely unholy about a student flat – a place where personal growth, emotional regression, and sexual chaos all happen in the same 10-square-metre living room. You move in thinking you're just renting a room but, really, you’re signing up for a year-long Read more...

A Lesbian, Bisexual & Straight Woman Walk into a Bar

Posted 7:46pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Nina Brown

I change seating positions at least three times before Leah* and Beth* arrive for the interview. Settling into our armchairs, the three of us epitomise our stereotypes. The straight woman who has rarely cum with a man is dressed in jeans and a white t-shirt, long hair in a bun. The masc lesbian who Read more...

Online Anonymous: A support group for the chronically online

Posted 5:25pm Saturday 26th July 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

This is an intervention. For everyone who panics about early-onset dementia every time you forget what you ate for breakfast and especially with the seasonal flip of an exam paper as the clock starts ticking. Are we remembering less and less? Is it sleep loss? TikTok? Those AI breatha reels Read more...

Choose Your Own Adventure: OUSA President Edition

Posted 5:20pm Saturday 26th July 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

1.  You wake up, wrapped up in a duck-down comforter with that gorgeous OUSA green burned into your eyelids. It's time to take on your busy day. You leap out of bed and go down to your kitchen to pour yourself a big bowl of Weet-Bix. What do you do while you eat your meal? Open your Read more...

A Slice of Our Opinions: Pizza Reviewed

Posted 5:22pm Saturday 19th July 2025 by Adam Stitely

Takeaway pizzas are a cornerstone of the “I can’t be fucked cooking” catalogue: when your parents couldn’t be fucked trying to satisfy your picky childhood palate with homecooked meals; when your boss couldn’t be fucked giving you a bonus so you got a pizza party; or Read more...

Flatmageddon: Best ways to resolve flat conflicts

Posted 4:26pm Saturday 19th July 2025 by Hunter Jolly

Conflict is inevitable when you live in close quarters with other people, especially when you may have conflicting ideas about what cleanliness looks like and what acceptable sleeping patterns are. Whether tension manifests in passive-aggressive remarks about your innovative pot-soaking method, or Read more...

30 Years Strong: Te Rōpū Māori Marks a Milestone

Posted 1:05pm Monday 14th July 2025 by Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa (Sky)

Kiritea Smith, Chair of the 30th Committee – Ngāi Te Rangi, Ngāti Ranginui, Ngāti Pūkenga Porourangi Templeton-Reedy, Co-President of Te Rōpū Māori – Ngāti Porou, Ngāi Tūhoe, Tainui Honouring the Past, Celebrating the Present, and Read more...

I can tell you what you study based off your census answers

Posted 11:21am Monday 14th July 2025 by Nina Brown

I spent the semester break trawling through census data and am confident I can accurately guess what you study based on how you answer the following questions. If I get it wrong, it says more about whether you’re in the right degree than my powers of generalisation. 1. How’s your Read more...

You are here: An investigation into the tangled web of the queer Dunedin dating scene

Posted 5:56pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Via Hooks

Having been in ostensibly queer friend groups basically since arriving in Dunedin, I’ve observed that all of my friends (myself included) are, indeed, dating each other. But can I back this up with data?  Yes. My proposed hypothesis is the “Queer event horizon” - that Read more...

The Jorts and Jafas of Bisexuality

Posted 5:39pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Stella Weston

Jokes about Doc-wearing, threesome-having bisexual femmes are as low hanging as ragging on breathas for the mullet-moustache combo. While the copy and paste breatha look at festivals means some stereotypes often have a basis in truth, stereotypes can also be exaggerated or distorted in ways that can Read more...

criticHow To Be An Ally

Posted 4:59pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

There are many ways in which we can become better people in this society. Dunedin is an ever-expanding, diverse, and lively city full of all colours of the rainbow. Maybe you don’t think you’re one of those guys. Maybe when you're at a flat party and see a queer couple you only stare Read more...

Queer Mess?

Posted 4:55pm Sunday 25th May 2025 by Madeline O’Leary

It's a bit of a running joke within my circle that my sexuality announces itself before I do. My friends often tease about how they can hear me coming before they see me. The jangle of keys on my carabiner is like a rumble of dyke thunder before lightning strikes. Pair this with my eyebrow Read more...

OUSA President Liam White Caught With His Pants Down?

Posted 11:04pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

There are some things we have come to expect from our OUSA presidents. Campaining on the promise of a student bar, not delivering a student bar. That's about it honestly. What we did not expect however... was this.  Sources (one suspicious email with a portfolio of equally suspicious Read more...

Red Flag Roundup

Posted 10:57pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Critic Staff

I once had a guy ask me – completely deadpan – if the reason I didn’t want to date him anymore was because my parents didn’t love me enough as a child. No joke. That was his closer. And to be fair, it did close things. Safe to say, the almost-relationship ended right there, Read more...

Overheard Ōtepoti

Posted 10:12pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Critic Staff

Amnesty Youth members in a Law lecture AYO member 1: “Do you think $20 for a joint is reasonable?” AYO member 2: “Yeah, I mean it sounds reasonable. It depends how big the joint is – they can get you really fucked up.” AYO member 1: “Yeah, I’ve never Read more...

We Made A Fanpage for Daniel Leamy

Posted 10:04pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Molly Smith-Soppet

With the Tabloid Issue approaching and pitches running somewhat dry, two of Critic Te Ārohi’s most chaotic staff (us) turned to what we do best: shit-stirring. One of us writes horoscopes and the other wrote the love story of the century (Critic Bachelor). Between us, we knew exactly how Read more...

The Legacy of Martin Phillipps

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine

.column { float: left; width: 33.33%; } /* Clear floats after the columns */ .row:after { content: ""; display: table; clear: both; } “The Dunedin Sound is the sound of honesty” - Martin Phillipps It’s hard not to write about the Dunedin Sound without Read more...

Sound and Vision: Capturing Dunedin’s Music Scene

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Ellie Bennett

Sweaty, a bit drunk, and surrounded by people who look about twice my height and half my age, I’ve got a headache and my ears are buzzing. My shoes squeak every time I try to unstick them from the floor. I can just about make out the features of the lead singer but the drummer blends into the Read more...

An Inside Look at the Six60 Scholarship: Is it sick-60?

Posted 2:35pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Zoe Eckhoff

6 and 60. Perhaps not everyone's two favourite set of numbers, but nevertheless, undeniably iconic to anyone from Aotearoa who didn’t forget their roots. It’s generally known that this band name came from the flat on Castle Street that the four members started off in (you’ll Read more...

Ranking what native New Zealand birds I could beat in a fight if I were also a bird?

Posted 10:05pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine

Evolution has not been kind to the native birds of Aotearoa. Some are small, some flightless, and all pretty vulnerable to introduced pests. To put it lightly, they don’t stand a chance against predators. You know that, I know that. My question is, do they stand a chance against me, Read more...

Critic Wuz Here: There’s a phone number inscribed on your desk and I called it.

Posted 9:44pm Sunday 4th May 2025 by Jordan Irvine

One of God’s greatest gifts is the cell phone because doing this gimmick in a time of payphones would have set me back a lot in coins (where the fuck do you even get coins from now?). As a child I did not focus in class and paid more attention to the writings forever engraved onto the desks at Read more...