In many ways, fish and chips embody the ideal student: well-cooked, sopping with grease, and wrapped in paper. Well…maybe we’re not directly comparable, but there is something studenty about fish and chips, trust. More importantly, fish and chips are one of the few ways students have a window into everyday Dunedin. Every sunny Friday afternoon we become pilgrims, flocking to the beaches, the hills, and the Peninsula in search of something that will fill our bellies – and souls.
For our 24th annual review, Critic chomped our F+C’s in their natural habitats, from the curbside of Tahuna Campstore to the mighty Botans. Contentiously, the review also won’t be looking at ‘Best Cafe’ the vibey little spot in the Centre City because the fish and chip gods (randoms on Dunedin Fish and Chip Shop review) have deemed it ineligible as a fish and chip shop. Who is Critic to argue? Anyway, leshgo.
Great Wall
Great Wall has delivered on an underwhelming reputation once again, dishing up F+C straight out of the godless realm of lower Princes Street. Straight up, the fish was bad. Eaten in the Octagon on a sunny day with the beautiful sight of teenagers in school uniform shouting obscenities in front of you, this meal couldn’t have been less picturesque. The fish suffered from a mushy batter and the off-white goodness inside was equally so. Chips were below bang average. In short, the meal made you feel less than human. Though Great Wall is conveniently located in town, the obvious lack of care makes one consider if they should even be reviewed.
Fish: 2/10
Chips: 3/10
North East Valley Takeaways
NEV Takeaways provides exactly the kind of F+C you would expect from somewhere so hard-case as the North East Valley. The goods are deep-fried within an inch of their lives, making for an inevitably grease-soaked experience embodying the hard-nosed worker treating themselves to Friday night takeaways. Eaten in about the most working class place in the NEV, the staff room at Ross Home (rest home), Critic felt compelled to quote Derry Girls, “Pizza’s not as nice.” Granted, everything is that horrid orangey-brown colour and you end up wiping grease on everything you touch, but for $7.50 it’s reasonably priced. Simply put, you aren’t a NEV local until you’ve tried ‘em and not died of a grease-induced heart attack.
Fish: 5.5/10 - $4
Chips: 4/10 - $3.50
Tahuna Camp Store
Tahuna have a pretty tried and true formula, so it wasn’t a surprise to see that their F+C hadn’t changed much since last year. They have been faithfully mid for about 2-3 years now, but their St Kilda location combined with the dregs of old clout persist in making them a go-to spot. Now for a confession: this ideally should have been eaten on John Wilson Drive in a car with a view of the ocean. We couldn’t be fucked making the round-the-corner trip and it was instead eaten on those rickety chairs outside the store. Sorry team. Objectively, we pin-pointed some quality issues with the overly crunchy batter, the thick soggy chips that leave you full after half-a-dozen, or the thin fish. Subjectively, however, I was finding myself falling in love with Tahuna Camp Store again. And maybe it was just the sun, the fact we’d had just been for an ocean dip, or the company that warmed our hearts. The review fell prey to sentimentality and noble thoughts about the hundreds of students who had mished out to Tahuna looking, not for great fish and chips, but for a feed and a momentary escape from the mind-fuck that is Studentville. For this, we are ever indebted to you, dear Tahuna.
Fish: 7/10 - $4
Chips: 5/10 - $5
Marlow
Sneaky, sneaky. Marlow has changed their fish and chips dramatically! Last year they were the darlings of the review and now, nursing a rep from various fish and chip rankings, they have cheated the students and people of Dunedin by changing the formula. Outrage and rioting is on the horizon. The business model seems to have worked, with a 30-minute wait attesting to the shop’s commercial strength, but Critic no longer bows down to them. Eaten overlooking the Dinosaur park, the fish had a meek presence in the mouth and struggled to contend with the taste of the crunchy batter. The chips were Makikihi (a classic F+C shop chip) but weren’t doing anything special for us. In its entirety, the experience was virtually indistinguishable from Tahuna Camp Store which is perhaps what they were aiming for given their close proximity. F+C shop lovers lament, another titan has fallen.
Fish: 6.5/10 - $6
Chips: 6/10 - $4
The Fish-Inn
For years, torturous rumours have circulated of bliss to be found at the Fish-Inn. The only problem: it’s in Waikouaiti, a half hour drive north of Dunedin. Critic’s verdict? It’s bloody well worth it. Banging fish and solid chips erring towards the starchier side. The only problem was the hot dog which was alleged to be a 7/10, but then again, who in their right mind buys a hot dog from the F+C shop? [Editor’s note: The views expressed by writers in Critic may not always reflect other writers and Critic as a whole]. The fish was juicy but not greasy, tasteful without being overly fishy. It was likely just bog standard fresh Hoki but that’s a tough ask for the big-city F+C shops in Dunners. The meal was eaten on the side of State Highway One but you couldn’t hear the cars, you couldn’t hear anything, all you could do was see: the fish, the smiles on your mates’ faces, the beauty of fish and chips at large. Heck, someone get me a box of tissues. The Fish-Inn’s rep is deserved.
Fish: 8.5/10 - $6
Chips: 8/10 - $4.5
Petrol: $20
Mei Wah
Eyyyy, one of the locals. Mei Wah have built on a solid showing last year and once again they have cooked up something banging, a meal enjoyed at the Botans of all places. While the fish’s batter is slightly too thick, the fish within has girth enough to match. What’s more, the fish falls apart deliciously and shines out at you like the sun reflected on the duck-pond. Chips are nothing to write home about, but elevated when you pick them straight out of the hole you made for yourself in the top of the paper packaging. Patience is for battlers. The Botans make for such an ideal spot of consumption. Post feed you can just food-coma on one of the benches up the top, to the delight of the frothy stoners and LSD users looking for someone to gawk at. Consistently solid, Mei Wah is one of the few shops determined not to let their guard down in the battle for supreme fish and chips – however tempting it must be when nestled on Fatty Lane.
Fish: 8/10 - $4
Chips: 6/10 - $4
The rankings are as follows!
- Fish Inn
- Mei Wah
- Tahuna
- Marlow
- NEV
- Great Wall
It was a competition largely devoid of serious intensity with slipping standards being a common theme across the spectrum. The big news is Marlow falling off its pedestal. Fame got to its head and, like Macbeth, the crown was too heavy. Most of the student faithfuls are happy in their consistency, even if this is being consistently bad. The message is thus, probably, go for a mish (not to the beach) to get fish and chips or go to Mei Wah.
This whole review reeks of sentimentality but one would be hard-pressed to say many of the claims within weren’t true. It asks a fundamental question: do we love things for their meaning or do we create meaning out of the things we love? Perhaps it’s the latter, yet that doesn’t make the meaning any less true in the human heart. #deep, I know, but so are fish.