Critic Recipes For Bored Fuckers

Posted 5:53pm Thursday 24th September 2026 by Harry Almey

They said independence and flatting would be fun. What a load of hogwash. Before long, you've mastered the art of quick gruel for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Your parents are concerned: “you only eat what?” You explain that sometimes you simply need to shove something in your gob Read more...

The Brunch Theory

Posted 11:26am Sunday 6th September 2026 by Imogen Perry

Relationships are out. Brunch is in. Everyone knows it. But what about those brave soldiers trapped somewhere in the in-between, balancing the orgasmic elation of overpriced breakfast foods, with the heavy burden of commitment, co-dependence and having regular sex with the same person? Don’t Read more...

Horoscopes: Issue 21 2026

Posted 11:49am Sunday 6th September 2026 by The Orb

Pisces Everyone knows that you want that Capricorn bad, despite your attempts to act aloof and professionally detached. Stop pretending you don’t care because out of fear caring might make you look stupid. You already look stupid. You may as well get what you want. Your Brunch Order: Read more...

Critic Te Ārohi’s 25th Annual Fish and Chip Review

Posted 9:28am Saturday 18th July 2026 by Critic Staff

In a world where everything feels pretty fucked – from the political climate to the actual climate– we figured it was time to return to something comforting: fish and chips. For the 25th year running, Critic Te Ārohi has undertaken the sacred duty of eating our way around Read more...

The Bowling Club Needs Students

Posted 1:25pm Sunday 19th April 2026 by Molly Smith-Soppet

Whether you don’t know what to cook in the flat tonight, are struggling with midterm stress, or your body is beginning to deteriorate due not seeing a vegetable in a week, Critic Te Ārohi has a solution for you. The Bowling Club delivers straight to OUSA Clubs and Socs, which is a perfect Read more...

Rob Roy: The Ultimate Guide to Hurrying The Fuck Up and Ordering

Posted 1:33pm Sunday 1st March 2026 by Imogen Perry

Potential laxative. Occasional platonic matchmaker. Guaranteed temporary serotonin release. Ice-cream. The lifeline of the student population, but only after a long hard day of pretending to study at Central. Located on the corner of George and Albany Street, Rob Roy is essentially an institution: a Read more...

New Cheap Lunch Spot Opens Next to Campus

Posted 5:30pm Sunday 1st March 2026 by Hanna Varrs

Students may have noticed a new food truck operating out of the Museum Llawn, staffed with broad smiles and piling $5 Love Feasts onto plates. Jane Beecroft caught up with Critic Te Ārohi to discuss the mahi behind Krisha Kai, as well as the menu. “Samosas, smoothies, hot chips, apple Read more...

Mi Goreng Graduate: Greek Traybake

Posted 4:25pm Monday 13th October 2025 by Ruby Hudson

We have arrived at the final recipe of the year! Greek traybake is my all time favourite dinner so it felt like an apt way to finish up my column at the fabulous Critic Te Ārohi. This recipe is totally hands off to cook, uses seasonal ingredients, and is utterly delicious. In my opinion you Read more...

Mi Goreng Graduate: Kofta Kebabs

Posted 10:29pm Saturday 4th October 2025 by Ruby Hudson

Serves: 5 Time: 30 mins  Picture yourself sitting on a beach in Euro summer, sunkissed with an aperol spritz in hand. A mental image that can only be improved by an epicly tasty mediterranean meal… cue Kofta Kebabs! These are super easy to make and quite frankly, delicious. You can Read more...

Mi Goreng Graduate: Okonomiyaki

Posted 12:22am Monday 29th September 2025 by Ruby Hudson

Time: 40 mins  Serves: 4 Okonomiyaki is a Japanese street food that fits the taste and budget of student life! A savoury pancake chock full of cabbage, noodles, and other goodies, this recipe is easy to whip up on a weeknight. If you don’t need to cook for a crowd, the mixture is Read more...