After a long hard year here at Critic Te Ārohi, we decided to bring you a little game for the end of the semester. On the left page you’ll find illustrated portraits of a handful of campus characters – the high strung BSc, the alternative postgrad, the over-eager American exchange student, and more. On the right hand side are a stack of answers.
Your mission is to match each set of answers to the person who said them. Some pairings are obvious, some are going to trip you up. So read closely, trust your instincts, and have a bit of fun while studying for your exams. If you want to make it competitive, give yourself a point for every correct match and challenge your friends.
Subject 1
Drink of choice: Whatever type of cider is on special at New World.
Bedtime: 10:30pm
If you could change your degree what would you swap to? Lowkey one of the professional programs, like medical laboratory science.
Ōtepoti’s best hidden gem: Ross Creek reservoir, because it’s an escape and oasis from the busy student life – you can hear the birds chirping.
Daily screen time and most used app: Daily average is four hours. Most used app is TikTok.
How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Search for high ground. Go to the supermarket, load my backpack up with stuff, then walk up Mt Cargill, climb up the telephone big pointy thing, and watch everyone else fall apart.
Subject 2
Drink of choice: Big bottles. Wine, cider, Nitro, tequila, any combination.
Bedtime: 12am
If you could change your degree what would you swap to? Politics or History
Ōtepoti’s best hidden gem: Woodhaugh Gardens. They have swings, a slide, and in summer they have a little pool – not that I’ve been in it. They’ve also got some bushland – in Auckland I’d have to drive like half an hour for that. And dogs. Lots of dogs.
Daily screen time and most used app: Six or six and a half hours, and TikTok.
How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Take my lacrosse stick as a weapon, then steal my flatmate’s car, drive to the supermarket and – what's it called? – ram raid New World. I’ve always wanted to do that. Fill up the car with groceries. Drive back to the flat, make sure none of my flatmates were zombies. If they were, I'd kill them and lock myself in the flat. If they weren't zombies, they could have some of my food.
Subject 3
Drink of choice: That's hard. A red wine or a whiskey.
Bedtime: 2am
If you could change your degree what would you swap to? Law (hesitantly)
Ōtepoti’s best hidden gem: The Crown. Just a really rich history and cool environment. A real staple of the scene.
Daily screen time and most used app: 13 hours, but that's including my laptop. Most used app is YouTube
How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Go bush, pull a Ricky Baker.
Subject 4
Drink of choice: Summit or Export. Honestly any beer will do.
Bedtime: 11pm
If you could change your degree what would you swap to? Surveying because they get paid heaps like right off the bat.
Ōtepoti’s best hidden gem: Sandfly Bay. I think the name keeps people away.
Daily screen time and most used app: Four hours
How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Hide in the supposed bunker underneath the Clocktower until I can't hear anything, then try to get back to the flat.
Subject 5
Drink of choice: Coffee
Bedtime: When I run out of content to watch
If you could change your degree what would you swap to? Dentistry, because I’ve had a bunch of dental work done and it seems like something I could do. It’s useful because people come in really painful – you hurt them a bit and then you fix them.
Ōtepoti’s best hidden gem: Union and Co. Cafe in Port Chalmers. Amazing BLTs, really good coffee, and the people who work there are nice.
Daily screen time and most used app: Way too much. My most used app is Blue Sky, which is essentially the new Twitter for the people who actually want to have conversations and stuff.
How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Get down to Hire Equip and get the heavy duty chainsaws.
Subject 6
Drink of choice: Water or light beer
Bedtime: Anywhere from 11pm-1am
If you could change your degree what would you swap to? Business because it seems relatively easy and it makes a lot of money.
Ōtepoti’s best hidden gem: That’s a tough one. I don’t think I know any of the hidden gems.
Daily screen time and most used app: Instagram and daily average is four hours and 20 minutes.
How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? I saw this Instagram post a while ago: go out to an abandoned oil rig, steal a boat, get a bunch of supplies and post up there for a while. So probably that.
Answers:
- S1: BSc
- S2: Bcomm
- S3: Masters student
- S4: Future OUSA prez
- S5: Law Lecturer
- S6: American Exchange students