Booze Review: Franky’s Lemon Crush & Cola Lime

Posted 10:32pm Saturday 4th October 2025 by Joan of Rark

At this point in the year I’m struggling to think of booze I haven’t yet reviewed, so I’ve taken to perusing the aisles of Leith Liquor and squinting at the shelves to see if anything’s unfamiliar. And well well well, what do we have here? New-to-the-scene Franky’s, yet Read more...

The 24th Annual Critic Fish & Chip Review

Posted 5:44pm Sunday 21st September 2025 by Hugh Askerud

In many ways, fish and chips embody the ideal student: well-cooked, sopping with grease, and wrapped in paper. Well…maybe we’re not directly comparable, but there is something studenty about fish and chips, trust. More importantly, fish and chips are one of the few ways students have a Read more...

Booze Review: Great Northerns

Posted 6:32pm Sunday 21st September 2025 by Joan of Rark

G’day cunts and cuntesses, shrimp on the barbie and all that. This week's booze reviews is Great Northerns, the official beer of drink driving to K’gari in your old man's ex mine 70 series landcruiser. But it's okay, ‘cos it’s not like driving on the beach at low Read more...

Booze Review: Cola Cruisers

Posted 5:44pm Sunday 7th September 2025 by Joan of Rark

They finally did it. The company who could at this point trademark the term “lolly water” have circled back to the original lolly water: Cola.  Whilst this stuff is not their first dabble into cola flavours, with cherry cola and vanilla cola being other flavour options, it took Read more...

Booze Review: Wild Boar Bourbon & Cola

Posted 10:38pm Sunday 24th August 2025 by Gin Swigmore

I drank Wild Boar Bourbon and Cola while playing a 1983 version of Trivial Pursuit. Half of the questions were about the Soviet Union. Fitting. Like oil and water, bourbon and communism just don’t mix. Drinking Wild Boar makes you feel like you’d be complicit in the Red Scare. The drink Read more...

Booze Review: Thunderdonk Salted Caramel Whisky

Posted 12:00am Monday 18th August 2025 by Gin Swigmore

Whisky is stoic as fuck. Four fingering a whisky glass makes you feel like a wise and mysterious cowboy – a cowboy that has just silenced a saloon with their presence after spending all day contemplating and riding off into the sunset. Drinking Thunderdonk makes you a mysterious and curious Read more...

Booze Reviews: Coast Road Creamery Chocolate Cream Liqueur

Posted 7:38pm Sunday 3rd August 2025 by Joan of Rark

And with that, the streak has ended. We have finally found a boozy number I would never like to see again, much like high school calculus (good riddance).  This dirty fuck of a drink is supposedly wine based. Judging by the taste it's a red – not in a ‘nicely locked in Read more...

A Slice of Our Opinions: Pizza Reviewed

Posted 5:22pm Saturday 19th July 2025 by Adam Stitely

Takeaway pizzas are a cornerstone of the “I can’t be fucked cooking” catalogue: when your parents couldn’t be fucked trying to satisfy your picky childhood palate with homecooked meals; when your boss couldn’t be fucked giving you a bonus so you got a pizza party; or Read more...

Booze Reviews: Ormond Rich Rouge

Posted 9:57pm Sunday 18th May 2025 by Griselda Pinot

Move over pinot gris, here come the rich aromas of the lady herself – Ruby Rouge. Aptly named, considering the colour of my cheeks after a glass. She presents with a deep crimson body, casting a siren call for an immediate sip.  Is it cherry, strawberry or blackberry that offends the Read more...

Booze Review: Toblerone

Posted 3:13pm Sunday 11th May 2025 by Gin Swigmore

Critic went homemade this week. After last week’s adventure tackling a box of Hard Rated Alcoholic Lemon and some questionable decisions to attend an uneventful but expensive night in the Octagon, Critic’s alcohol budget was blown on unnecessary Ubers, vodka sodas, and a guilty attempt Read more...