Whisky is stoic as fuck. Four fingering a whisky glass makes you feel like a wise and mysterious cowboy – a cowboy that has just silenced a saloon with their presence after spending all day contemplating and riding off into the sunset.
Drinking Thunderdonk makes you a mysterious and curious cowboy from Brokeback Mountain. A cowboy that is drinking the whisky version of an iced caramel latte (derogatory) about to four finger thunderdonk (non-derogatory) another curious and naked cowboy at Ram Ranch.
You. Yes, you, my humble student of alcoholic philosophy. You may now be thinking, “Jeez, that's a lot of naked cowboys.” Indeed. That is why there is a market for a salted caramel whisky named Thunderdonk.
If one was looking to curb this market, I, under a thoughtful four fingering of Thunderdonk, have reverse engineered (what the American Government is doing in Area 51) the secret to making a below average salted caramel flavoured whisky. A 700ml ‘whisky’ that comes in at 33% ABV and is technically labelled a whisky liqueur. Keep that in mind.
All one has to do to recreate Thunderdonk is: 1) acquire a 1L bottle of Jack Daniel’s; 2) split the Jack Daniel’s into two 500ml bottles; 3) fill those bottles with an additional 200mls of water; and now for the hard part, 4) distract the McDonald’s staff for long enough to put four pumps of their caramel syrup in each of said bottles.
Still the best thing to come out of Scapegrace.
Film pairing: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter
Book pairing: Pride and Prejudice
Seconds spent on the mechanical bull: A lot/10