Ah… Second year. The time that life feels like it is peaking – and it absolutely was. I was flatting with my best friends, I still had all my summer money and exams hadn't started yet. It was that sweet spot in the semester between St Paddy's and Hyde Street Party. Nothing felt real, but neither did it feel bad.
My flatmate Natasha and I were fucking around on a particularly boring Friday afternoon. On our way back from a UniPol step class, we came up with the idea to lose our virginities – not together, but on the same night. So onto Tinder and Grindr she and I respectively went.
After about an hour or so of swiping and shit chat we had both found our entertainment for the night. Mine was a post-grad with a penchant for the kinky. Natasha’s was a fourth year law breatha. A night was to be had.
I had gotten mine, let’s call him Noah, to agree to pick me up from the flat – because fuck the whole having to pay petrol thing. We went for a drive out to the coast and then eventually made our way back to his flat in St Clair. The chat had been mid so far, but the convo had weirdly made its way back to the fact I went to the gym today. Strange, but maybe he was just a little socially awkward. Noah had work early the next morning, so he came to pick me up as soon as I had gotten back to my flat from the gym. As such, I hadn't had the chance to have a shower. I can confirm I was a bit musty, but reasoned that I could just hop through the shower before we did the deed.
This next part is zero to one hundred. Noah and I make it to his room, and start getting a bit handsy. Suddenly, he is leaning into my armpit and having a big whiff, saying shit like “I’m glad you didn’t shower before you came over.” WHAT THE FUCK. I felt like I had been bamboozled. I just thought he would choke me a little or give my ass a slap. But no – he was essentially cave diving in my armpits.
Strange, but it’s weirdly not the worst thing to experience someone saying they like the smell of you. So onwards we went. Looking back, I am unsure if I really was ok with it or if I just really wanted that ride home. But either way I was a virgin no more and definitely came home with a better story than the vanilla Natasha had. And yes, he did drop me home after.
