In The Cage: The Passion Lingers

Posted 11:46pm Sunday 13th April 2025

At the stage this column was written, the Cage had truly become a part of my life again after a short break. Evie changed her picture of me on her phone to Nic. So here we go.  In Kiss of Death, the Cage is reunited with both Stanley Tucci and Samuel L. Jackson. In one scene Nic bench Read more...

In The Cage: You can’t escape the Cage

Posted 10:22pm Sunday 6th April 2025

After three months out of the Cage, I was back in. I have not mentioned it so far but there are a lot of boobs in his films. One of the first things you see in Zandalee is a naked woman and it makes me think it had to be in his contract or something. To be honest, most of the film is about naked Read more...

Opinion: Chlöe Swarbrick is still a politician

Posted 10:40pm Sunday 23rd March 2025

As a child, my parents were Labour voters and to me that seemed like the moral choice. John Key’s National government at the time did not have their best interests at heart as they prioritised wealth over wellbeing. New Zealand First, headed at the time by an old Winston Peters, appealed more Read more...

In the Cage: “Reasonably Concerned”

Posted 10:20pm Sunday 23rd March 2025

Even though Nicolas Cage’s voice was odd in Peggy Sue, it is nothing compared to Vampire’s Kiss. A film that uses the vampire as a metaphor for lust and greed, the Cage is unhinged. Not only is the voice weird but so is his hair, his mannerisms, his cadence – his everything. He Read more...

In The Cage: Hey, he’s in these movies!

Posted 6:07pm Sunday 16th March 2025

Now onto Cage’s first leading role, portraying Randy in Valley Girl. It is the 1983 version of Romeo and Juliet and, honestly, the Cage isn’t the weirdest part of this film. There are the classic Cage-isms that he will hone in on for future works but there is also a very horny mum, Read more...

Withdrawing from Yourself

Posted 4:58pm Sunday 16th March 2025

Content warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts I have been taking antidepressants for nearly five years now, and though they’re infamous for their side effects there is just one thing I can’t get over. Weirdly enough, I’ve made my peace with the weight gain, mood swings and Read more...

In the Cage: Throwing away the key

Posted 11:12pm Sunday 9th March 2025

Reader’s note: This column has been in the works since the 30th of July 2024. Welcome to the Cage. As Critic’s designated pop culture expert, I have been a fan of films for a very long time. This often manifested as becoming obsessed with one particular actor's work in a given Read more...

Flo-Week Review: Is There A New King of Castle?

Posted 8:53pm Sunday 23rd February 2025

Flo-Week is the time second- and third-years get pissed before the freshers start pissing them off. (I get it but, like, come on, give them a break). Each night a flat on Castle or Leith Street hosts with a totally original theme, in the hopes people are ready and willing to dress up to get down. Read more...

Con-Tree-Versy on Union Lawn

Posted 6:38pm Sunday 23rd February 2025

The con-tree-versial decision to cut down a Japanese cherry blossom tree on Union Lawn to clear the way for Ori’ 2025 was made in December by OUSA management. But it wasn’t without a fight.  OUSA Secretary Donna Jones ran a tree-saving quest in the lead up to its ultimate demise Read more...

Local Produce: Achtung!

Posted 3:48am Monday 16th September 2024

Bring The Noise final losers Achtung! are the newest post-punk band in Ōtepoti. Members include Jacob (he/him) on guitar, Niki (she/they/he) on drums, Henry on bass (he/him) and George (he/him) on guitar. According to Niki, “The genesis of Achtung! is using old Critic’s as cum Read more...