Hyde Street Party is the best day of the year for any self respecting Otago student.
Hyde Street Party has become a sacred tradition of the student body. The thrill of putting your flatmates names in the lottery, hoping to receive that blessed email saying “YOU’RE GOING TO THE HYDE STREET PARTY.” It's the kind of email that gets screenshotted and sent to the group chat faster than a breatha cums from behind, and is usually followed by a week and a half of agonising over what you're going to dress as, exacerbated by randoms posting fake theme lists in Castle26. In terms of costumes, Hyde Street has seen it all. Whether you are dressed as a human-size Kego minifigure, a Smurf or a cop, you're sure to have a day filled with drinking, music and the most shit chat possible.
Critic Te Ārohi was there, and wandered through the masses to get involved with some of that shit chat. Our feet smushed hash browns further into the pavement while bass blared, the ever-present smell of liquor and fruit-flavoured vape hung in the air, and some important questions were put out to punters dressed to the nines. Here is what Hyde 2026 had to say.
Smurfs
Critic: “How many apples tall are you?”
Smurfs: “One apple” (Editors Note: Real smurfs are three)
Critic: “What is the best costume at Hyde?”
Smurfs: “Us.”
Sex Positions: Spooning, 69, Missionary, and Cowgirl
Critic: “What do you guys study?”
Sex Positions: “Finance, hence the early arrival.” (Editors Note: It was 12:05pm)
Critic: “Best song to hear on a night out?”
SP: “Hurricane by Bridget Mendler, and Afterglow by Wilkinson.”
Fancy Nancy
Critic: “What was your favourite childhood tv show?’
Fancy Nancy: “Paw Patrol and Franklin”
Critic: “If you were an alcoholic drink, what drink would you be?”
Fancy Nancy: “Nitro!”
The Ninja Turtles
Critic: “What are your names?”
Ninja Turtles: “Rachel. Wait, no – Micheal. Michelangelo.”
Critic: “What is the Turtle's biggest tip for a night out?”
Ninja Turtles: “More beers.”
Two Carrots and a (Touchy) Priest
Critic: “Which Dunedin street is the best to live on?”
Carrot: “Leith. You get the benefits of Castle, but it’s not Castle.”
Critic: “Is Castle Street dead?”
Carrot: “I wouldn't say it's dead, but it is a bit hectic.”
The Trolls
Critic: “What side of the bed do you sleep on?”
Troll 1: “Depends if i have someone in my bed.”
Troll 2: “Whatever side the charger is on.”
Critic: “Is drinking water while you are on a night out worth it?”
Troll 1: “We are actually med students [...] Scientifically it’s proven to be…” (Editor’s Note: She did not finish her sentence, so I guess we will never know.)
Cave-Women
Critic: “How would you rate the Hyde hashbrowns?”
Cave-Women: “10.”
Critic: “What is the best music they play in clubs?”
Cave-Women: “Not DnB [...] The best is, like, sing-alongs.”
Girl Scouts
Critic: “What is your favourite badge you have earnt?”
Girl Scouts: “The Hyde Badge.”
Critic: “If you were a dumpling, what flavour would you be?”
Girl Scouts: “Pork and cabbage”
Gloriavale Girls
Critic: “Where the fuck did you get the Gloriavale outfits?”
Gloriavale Girl 4: “My Nana made them for us!”
Critic: “Shit ok. That’s dedication to Hyde!”
Critic: “What is your favourite bible verse?”
Gloriavale Girl 2: “John 3:16.” (Editors Note: For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life)
Vector
Vector: “Oh yeaaahhhh!”
Critic: “Vector, what is your most devious lick?”
Vector: “My girlfriend's heart.”
Critic: “Damn! Vector smooth as fuck.”
