4/20. For an atheist stoner like myself, this could be my favorite holiday of the year (aside from Thanksgiving). It even hits close to home – the term “420” was coined by a group of high schoolers about 10 minutes from where I grew up in California. They’d meet up after school to smoke at 4:20pm, right between their school's final bell and their parents arriving home. The phrase stuck, spread, and is now associated with cannabis worldwide.
Much like five o’clock for margaritas and Jimmy Buffet, 4:20 was deemed the socially acceptable time to spark up. But that’s for any other day. It’s the 20th of April and midterm season has mostly passed, you’ve got no excuse to not smoke weed all day. Lectures? Irrelevant.
With there only being one day a year where it is (kinda) socially acceptable to smoke up all day, we have no time to waste. So I thought why not try to come up with an itinerary to help everyone squeeze the most fun out of the celebration. Ferb, I know what we’re gonna do today.
10AM: Rise and shine. You can’t smoke all day if you don’t wake and bake. Assemble your best groutfit, gather your flatmates and start your morning off right with a couple rips off the bong. If you don’t have one, improvise! You can make a gravity bong, or craft a bowl out of a trusty old beer can or carve out an apple – basically just relive the glory days of high school when you didn’t know how to get your hands on the proper gear. Although tobacco can come at quite the cost in Aotearoa, I personally recommend throwing in a little chop to make your wake-me-up feel ever so elevated.
12PM: Hot box something. In researching this article, I have been using my neighbor’s twenty dollar Kmart tent. Make sure you light your joint outside of the chosen space – lighting it without proper air flow can lead to build up of carbon monoxide (a big no-no). Puff, puff, pass to your heart’s content, or until it becomes a little too difficult to see through the smog. Finally, bear witness to the fruits of your efforts: open the door to whatever space you’ve decided to occupy and watch all the smoke go gone with the wind. Make sure to air out the space once you're done – wouldn’t want the wrong noses to catch a whiff after the High Holidays have ended.
2PM: Eat some edibles. Pull out your copies of last-week’s Drugs Issue, flip to the features section, and (if you haven’t already) scan through the different recipes on the Cook(ed) Book – I can personally attest to the Gingerbread Latte Cookies. I encourage prepping ahead for the day (don’t cook while cooked). Beware, these things are tasty, but make sure to pace yourself. If the edibles ain’t shit, they just haven’t hit yet. 4:20 is nearing, and there is still plenty of smoking to be done.
4:20PM: Amass your friends. 420 is the perfect opportunity to dispel rumors about us stoners being lazy and isolated. Today, we aren’t isolated – only lazy. Pack your bowls, light your joints, and do your best New Year's impression, waiting for the clock to strike twenty after. Ensure to pass your weed around – stoners thrive in the power of love and friendship and today is meant for sharing. This is the magic of community.
6-7PM: Kai time! North D – specifically Fatty Lane, is home to an abundance of fast food. Order for pickup! It will be good to breathe in something other than weed smoke for once. And when you return to your flat, let the mukbang begin.
Until your heart’s desire: Kick back, relax, and turn on your favorite stoner show or movie. If you fancy another edible or cone, help yourself. Try to make it to bed at a reasonable hour – but if you end up passed out on the couch surrounded by half-eaten munchies, I don’t blame you. In fact, I plan to fall asleep in the living room to the tune of the Trailer Park Boys theme song surrounded by my friends – and the wrappers from my snacks. If you reach that stage, it’s a safe bet you’ve had the perfect outing on this special holiday.
