Archive

"Pay off your fucking loans" - Govt

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Gerard Barbalich

Economically-minded students will be disappointed to discover that the Government has scrapped the voluntary repayment bonus for student loans, effective from 1 April 2013. While the incentive was in place, borrowers who repaid more than the minimum amount required had a 10% bonus credited to that Read more...

Critic manufactures story based on ODT's manufactured story

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Sara Lamb-Miller

The ODT’s Sunday article claiming that Dunedin is the true Garden City of New Zealand sinks to a new low, even for them. It seems mean-spirited to take Christchurch’s last claim to fame away while they’re not looking. They even have gardens made out of bits of rubble now, in the empty spots where Read more...

An-Nur Kiwi Academy

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Thomas Raethel

After years of planning, an all-male Islamic boarding school is confirmed to be opening in South Dunedin. Built on the site of a former Catholic primary school, An-Nur Kiwi Academy will be the third Muslim school in New Zealand, and the first outside of Auckland. Formerly owned by the Dunedin Read more...

Driver admits liability in cycle death

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Sarah Bayly

Beverley Peat, who caused the death of Dentistry lecturer Dr. Chris He last November by opening her car door as he was cycling past, has been charged with “causing death by careless operation of a vehicle,” and remanded on bail for sentencing in May. Dr. He, described by a student as a Read more...

Getting Down and Nerdy

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Jamie Breen

In a recent article published in the ODT, University of Otago Physics lecturer Tim Molten pointed out that in New Zealand greater value is placed on sports than on the sciences. Critic is absolutely shocked. “Imagine if you were to become a Physicist and you became a hero and everyone bought Read more...

Racist Danish Runs Rampant

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

The Maori community has set its harpoons on foreign territory after a Danish MP denounced Maori culture as “uncivilised and grotesque.” An opinion piece published by MP Marie Krarup in the Danish newspaper Berlingske revealed that a powhiri made her feel uncomfortable, especially after being Read more...

Councillors counselled

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Jack Montgomerie

Dunedin City Councillors are to be warned against conflicts of interest at every meeting, just weeks after the Office of the Auditor General (OAG) cleared two councillors of voting for funding that would help their businesses. Councillors Kate Wilson and Richard Thomson, both of whom are part Read more...

Victoria Victorious in Research Rankings

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Callum Fredric

In its trademark bureaucratic and inaccessible style, the Tertiary Education Commission has published the results of its 2012 Quality Evaluation. The evaluation, which is the first since 2006, ranked the research performance of over 6,300 tertiary staff across the country. Despite the influx Read more...

Lord Monckton

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

Controversial climate change skeptic Lord Christopher Monckton will share his views with Dunedin next week as part of a nationwide speaking tour. His Dunedin visit is being organised by the New Zealand Climate Science Coalition. Lord Monckton is a British journalist, politician, former Read more...

Smelling Gastly helps Weezing and Koffing

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Professors around the globe have been blown away by a recent Otago Uni study which found that hydrogen sulphide (H2S), the gas that gives farts their characteristic odour, could reduce the symptoms of asthma. The results came from a sample of over 1600 Rotorua residents, a popular tourist Read more...

Anonymous Jerk Knocks Over Cones

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Callum Fredric

An unknown vandal systematically knocked down two lines of road cones set up to protect the path on the Museum Lawn while it was being repaved. The crime was committed on Thursday night, which is regarded by many as one of the two main drinking nights of the week. Alcohol may have been a Read more...

Hyde Street Sold Out

Posted 5:49pm Sunday 14th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Tickets to the infamous Hyde Street keg party sold out by midday when they went on sale at OUSA on both Monday 8 and Tuesday 9 April. Although the 500 tickets available on Monday were sold from 9am instead of 11am as publicised, OUSA President Francisco Hernandez reported that “every man and Read more...

Hör∂ur Torfason

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Zane Pocock

Hör∂ur Torfason, widely credited as “the man who brought participatory democracy to Iceland,” delivered several open speeches in Dunedin on 27 and 28 March. Held in the Burns 1 Lecture Theatre, the last of these speeches was entitled “Modern Democracy and the Iceland Experience,” and was Read more...

Still the best place to defecate on campus

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Renovations to the University’s staff club facility are expected to run about $150,000 over budget, bringing the total cost of the project above $750,000. The building is more than a century old, having opened in 1907, and has been the staff club since 1980. Because of the club’s highly Read more...

Rabbits take revenge

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

A 26-year-old man ended up in hospital on Saturday 30 March after an attempt to make his own hot cross bunnies turned sour and resulted in a gunshot wound to his own hand and the removal of two fingers. The man had been attending the Great Easter Bunny Hunt in Central Otago, trying to Read more...

University set to continue annual offering of a lecturer's life

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Zane Pocock

Expectations that the University would put a bicycle lane through campus in order to get cyclists off Dunedin’s dangerous labyrinth of one-way streets have been shut down, due to “pedestrian safety concerns” and the University’s current cycle ban. Speculation started after the death of Read more...

ODT fails to clean up rubbish journalism

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

The Otago Daily Times has officially jumped the shark, reporting on the efforts of a heroic Dunedin trash vigilante. A full eight days before April Fools’, the ODT ran a story entitled “Rubbish dumper made to clean up.” The story was penned by the same reporter responsible for February’s Read more...

Debating thieves show audacity

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

Stilt walkers, prowling lions and some hilarious misuse of the word “advice” helped to kick off another successful year for business incubator Audacious. Taking place in the Business School Atrium, the evening saw entrepreneurs Alex Dong and Logan Elliot, both from vastly different business arenas, Read more...

Minimum wage plummets!

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Student wage slaves are set to be worse off after a raft of changes to the minimum wage, student loans and Kiwisaver came into effect on Monday 1 April. The minimum wage went up to $13.75 per hour, an increase of 25c. However, the minimum student loan repayment rate increased from 10 per cent to 12 Read more...

Standbys stood down

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Air New Zealand has decided to scrap its popular standby flights system from 6 May. The system, which was introduced last year, allowed passengers to catch last-minute flights around the country for $69-$89. The move will hit Dunedin flyers particularly hard, with the lack of competition in Read more...

Hernandez hard at work

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

OUSA President Francisco Hernandez has released his first quarterly report, containing a detailed breakdown of the progress he has made toward his plethora of campaign pledges. The report, which stretches to 15 pages, has been kindly summarised by Critic in this 265-word article. The first Read more...

Hail Brittennia

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Basti Menkes

From 12-24 April the Department of Music is hosting a festival to celebrate the centennial birthday of the renowned English composer Benjamin Britten. Britten was a key figure in twentieth-century British classical music, composing music for opera, film scores and more. The festival, directed Read more...

Ironic lack of fringes among festival winners

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Claudia Herron

Dunedin Comics proved to be surprisingly hilarious after taking out eight of the 12 awards to celebrate the end of Dunedin’s tenth Monster Fringe Festival. The Festival, which ran from 14-24 March, held its awards ceremony on Monday 25 March at Queens. The ceremony featured comedian Simon McKinney Read more...

ODT makes shit up for the last time

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Bella Macdonald

The Otago Daily Times reported that seven fires were lit in the student area on Saturday 23 March. The 25 March article “Students blame authorities” also claimed that 300 people had gathered on the street by 11pm, and that revellers had to be dispersed by “more than a dozen police officers, Read more...

Logic prevails in OUSA by-election

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Staff Reporter

No Confidence crashed to a stunning defeat in the OUSA Campaigns Officer by-election, collecting a meagre 2.7 per cent of the vote as Masters student Rachael Davidson swept to victory. Davidson collected 189 votes, or 39 per cent – a margin of 47 votes (9.7 per cent) over second-placed Dan Read more...

Large student party tipped to occur on local street

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Sam McChesney

Students are gearing up for the 2013 Hyde Street Keg Party as OUSA, the University and the DCC nervously look on. The event has come under heavy criticism in recent years, and it is widely believed that any serious mishaps will spell the end for the party and potentially lead to a North Dunedin-wide Read more...

Bros at da Footy

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Gus Gawn

This report on the All Whites’ match with New Caledonia the other day is in two parts. The first involves me complaining about why the match was so disappointing. The second is a collection of quotes that I jotted down from the students behind me who used me as a shield so they could drink their Read more...

Whyte Men Can Run

Posted 4:40pm Sunday 7th April 2013 by Gus Gawn

Not much about Andrew Whyte would lead you to think that he is one of the fastest men in New Zealand. For a start, he is white. Really white. The kind of white that comes from growing up on a farm in Clinton, Southland rather than the beaches of the Caribbean. He is also not particularly Read more...

Row, row, row your boat

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by John Burton

Remember last year? When the London Olympics were on? Or even three years ago, when the Rowing World Champs were hosted up in the North Island? Well you should. Let’s face it, when it comes to sports we as a nation rely heavily on pieces of equipment to compete. Usually a boat. I had the pleasure of Read more...

OUSA tasked with getting Uni Games back on track

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Gus Gawn

The Uni Games are returning to the University of Otago in 2013. The annual inter-university sporting contest has been on the decline in recent years, but this year OUSA will manage a pared-back event in Dunedin from 22-24 April 2013. OUSA Exec member and Recreation Officer Blake Luff said: Read more...

OUSA fingered by the finger of student opinion

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Staff Reporter

OUSA President Francisco Hernandez and Education Officer Jordan Taylor attended the Higher Education Summit and Expo 2013 last week in Auckland. The only students present, they assured Critic that they were not, in fact, gatecrashing, and were “sort of” invited. Hernandez described the event Read more...

Council attempts to pimp ghetto

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

As ongoing refurbishment of the Queens Garden and Vogel Street area of Dunedin continues, an announcement by Dunedin councillors declared that the area will be revitalised for “creative” purposes. While Critic speculates that this is an attempt to create a similar alternative culture to Read more...

"Shit House Chateau" now simply "House"

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Zane Pocock

The winner of OUSA’s 2012 “Worst Student Flat” award is being done up as part of an initiative to make student flats more acceptable to live in. Organisers hope the Shit House Chateau, at 47 London Street, will serve as a positive example of what can be done to improve the standard of living Read more...

Marmageddon

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Shoppers flooded supermarket aisles on Wednesday to restock on their favourite yeasty spread. Sanitarium, which incidentally pays no tax on its profits due to being owned by a religious organisation, called a halt to Marmite production in late 2011 after God destroyed its Christchurch Read more...

Studylink shit

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Students have gone weeks with no income as Studylink has failed to answer applicants’ phone calls. Criticisms have arisen that the service would struggle to organise a bun fight in a bakery. Following an “unusually” high volume of calls regarding student funds, Studylink is yet to process Read more...

Dunedin to become funnier, famous-er

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Two of TV3’s 7 Days comedians, Ben Hurley and Steve Wrigley, are to visit Dunedin in early April as part of their World Famous In ... comedy tour. The tour, which has already taken in Palmerston North, New Plymouth and Hamilton, will be filmed and turned into a show, Ben and Steve: World Famous In Read more...

Critic Seeks New Talent

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Dennis Larson

Critic magazine, winner of the Aotearoa Student Press Association’s “Best Publication” award in 2012, is reportedly seeking talented, attractive staff members for a number of exciting and rewarding positions. The first position advertised is that of Sub-Editor, a 12 hour per week role. Sam Read more...

Blaze against the machine

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

Student political group NORML has “big plans” to sidestep the University’s new smoke-free policy, having purchased a “fleet of vapourisers” and putting more emphasis on edibles such as brownies and cookies. As an alternative to smoking the cannabis plant, vapourisers extract the active Read more...

Critic devotes page 7 to permanent by-election coverage

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Staff Reporter

OUSA will finally get to heal the gaping hole at the centre of the Executive, with a by-election for Ruby Sycamore-Smith’s vacated Campaigns Officer portfolio to be held on Thursday 28 March. Voting will open at 9am and close at 4pm, and the winner will receive a free stuffed toy (to be confirmed). Read more...

Couch burning no longer a healthy diversion

Posted 6:30pm Sunday 24th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

Pyromaniac students may well be losing their get-out-of-jail free cards after Police announced they would no longer offer pre-charge warnings or diversion to those caught lighting couch fires. Fire starters would now meet their match in both disciplinary action under the University’s Code of Conduct Read more...

Test Match Induces Persistent Vegetative State in Spectators

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Gus Gawn

The first Test Match between New Zealand and England at the University Oval ended in a dour draw. Day one was rained out and while England’s batsmen made a valiant effort to set up a result by throwing their wickets away on day two, their sacrifices were to no avail. New Zealand fans could Read more...

"Fins Up and Bums in the Air"

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Angus Grayson

As far as extreme sports go, underwater hockey, also known as “Aqua Challenge,” will not be at the X Games anytime soon. Often ridiculed for being a hobby and not a sport, Aqua Challenge is frowned upon by most mainstream athletes. However, fourth-year student Louise Daley has managed to push past Read more...

DJ Fadez Away

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

The Dunedin music fraternity is shocked and saddened to hear of the retirement of popular local musician DJ Fadez, who on Wednesday announced via Facebook that he would be hanging up his mic for good. Fadez, a.k.a. Tim Patrick, made the decision after the hard drive containing his life’s work Read more...

Critic runs fluff piece in order to show off pretty infographic

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

If Facebook likes were votes, the Greens would win the next election by a landslide. The Daily Blog published the results of a hypothetical social media election on Wednesday 13 March, putting the Greens as sole governing party with 63 seats. Ever the politics nerd, Critic re-crunched the Read more...

Belgian brings laptop to Union Hall

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Over 1500 students turned up at a sold-out Union Hall on Thursday 14 March to witness Belgium’s top liquid funk, drum and bass, and dubstep musician Netsky. The evening started off with opening acts Fazerface and Southern Lights, before Netsky (rhymes with “get pie,” not with “let me”), named Read more...

University sticking it to the man

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Copyright Licensing New Zealand (CLNZ) is taking all eight of New Zealand’s universities to the New Zealand Copyright Tribunal, after Universities New Zealand (UNZ) refused to increase the annual licensing fee that allows lecturers to copy course materials for students. The fee covers any use Read more...

New Alcohol Policy?

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

The fate of where and how licensed premises operate in Dunedin could lie in the wrinkled hands of bitter geriatrics due to current alcohol legislation allowing for local body policies to be influenced by communities. A draft local alcohol policy for the city is currently being worked on by Dunedin Read more...

Smoke banished from campus; fire to follow?

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

The demise of the durry on campus appears inevitable after the University Council affirmed that from 1 January 2014, the University will be completely smokefree. Previously smokers had been exiled from the shelter of building awnings when smoking within six metres of any building on the Dunedin Read more...

No Jobs Bro

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Students are struggling to find work, with recent statistics revealing that more students are looking for jobs and fewer gaining employment following the cut to the student allowance for post-graduate students. The number of students seeking part-time work during the summer period was up by Read more...

No confidence and "Glodia" defeated in OUSA by-elections

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

OUSA will get to indulge its by-election fetish one more time, after Ruby Sycamore-Smith emerged victorious in the Welfare Officer contest. Since Ruby has now resigned her current position as Campaigns Officer in order to take up the welfare position, there will be another by-election. Bliss. Read more...

Fashion Angers The Patriarchy

Posted 5:43pm Sunday 17th March 2013 by Zane Pocock

Dunedin’s iD Fashion Week was launched last Monday evening at a boozy invite-only function in the bowels of the Otago Daily Times. While introducing Susie Staley, who is the iD Committee Chairperson, Paul Dwyer of the ODT had a dig at the event’s lack of a major sponsor, suggesting that Read more...

Nuts! Out! For The Girls! (Nuts Out For The Girls)

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Marcus Ellison

The art of streaking holds a curious place in New Zealand sporting culture. On the one hand very few people will go on record condoning the act. Broadcasters have gone as far as to pretend it doesn’t happen. They would rather cut to abstract shots of close-up grass than give a streaker the prize of Read more...

Apathetic Students Don't Show Up To Phoenix Game

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Greg Hall

After an eventful week that featured the resignation of long-time coach Ricki Herbert and a midweek loss to the Newcastle Jets, the Wellington Phoenix rallied and came away with a 1-0 victory against Melbourne in our own backyard. Jeremy Brockie scored the only goal in the fixture, which was the Read more...

Panesar Becomes Commerce Meathead

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

England international cricketer Monty Panesar made a test appearance of a different kind by taking time out from his hectic training schedule to sit a two-hour exam at the Otago School of Business last Monday. Panesar is studying towards a Masters of Business Administration in Sport at Loughborough Read more...

Aquinas Loses Critic Privileges

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Following an attempt to separate themselves further from society, Aquinas College has been punished for hiding their weekly delivery of Critic magazines in a corner of the building’s foyer. The box of magazines, which was delivered on Monday 25 February, was shunned and hidden out of sight Read more...

OUSA To Spend App-roximately $30k

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Zane Pocock

In a meeting held early last week, OUSA announced they are “looking at the possibility” of developing applications for iOS, Android and Windows smartphones at an estimated upper-end cost of $30,000. The app would likely include features such as “bumping” smartphones to exchange timetables, Read more...

Crazed Gunman Terrorises Wealthy Dunedin Suburb

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Callum Fredric

At around 9pm on Wednesday 6 March, police and the Armed Offenders Squad were called out to a Tolcarne Avenue address in Maori Hill, where a man had apparently holed himself up in his house with his gun collection after a domestic incident. When Critic arrived at the property at 10pm after a Read more...

800 People Found Dead!

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Claudia Herron

In what sounds like the plot of Tomb Raider III, a German archaeologist has uncovered a mass of unmarked graves revealing almost 800 long-decaying bodies. Dr Hans-Dieter Bader of Archaeology Solutions Ltd took to Central Otago with his fluxgate gradiometer and hand-held GPS unit to reveal the Read more...

Polytech Battles Uni for Fair Trade Glory

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Yet again, Otago Polytechnic has made a dismal attempt to compete with the University of Otago. Only a few weeks after the Uni publicised its Fair Trade Campaign to become the first fully accredited fair trade tertiary institution in New Zealand, the Polytech announced their participation. In Read more...

Every Vote Counts! (Except Abstain)

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Staff Reporter

OUSA loves by-elections, and holds them all the time. This week they’re treating us to a delicious double-header, with both the Welfare and Postgraduate positions up for grabs. The candidates are Golda Matthias, Keir Russell and Ruby Sycamore-Smith. Golda and Ruby are duking it out for Welfare Read more...

More Details on Hyde Street Emerge

Posted 4:23pm Sunday 10th March 2013 by Sam McChesney

OUSA has provided more details on the format of this year’s Hyde Street party, with numbers likely to be capped at 3500 and ticket allocations given to residents. The decisions come after a public meeting on Monday and a stakeholders’ meeting on Wednesday. Meanwhile, the Otago Daily Times’s coverage Read more...

Ricki Herbert Can Fuck Off

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Greg Hall

Ricki Herbert quit his job last week. Herbert had been in charge of the Wellington Phoenix since 2007. In that time he had a meagre 53 wins out of 154 games, a win percentage of around 34%. The Phoenix are woeful, and have been since their inception. Now, this may seem to be bordering on slander Read more...

Ruben Wiki Rims Rowdy Fan

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by John Burton

If you weren’t aware, history was made on 23 February. This may not help you narrow down the timeframe due to the haze of O-Week. It was the Saturday night. The Warriors came to town, their first ever visit to this delightful metropolis called Dunedin, and offered up our first taste of rugby league Read more...

Test Cricket in Dunedin

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Callum Fredric

A three-test series in New Zealand is rarer than a five-day test against South Africa. The England series is the Black Caps’ last chance to win some glory after a whitewash of a season, with just the one (admittedly epic) victory against Sri Lanka. The first test starts in Dunedin on Wednesday, at Read more...

High School Implements Tuxedo Dress Code

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Dennis Larson

Dunedin’s own King’s High School has set up a class to teach Year 9 boys how to become gentlemen, based on a Texas course called The Gentlemen’s Society. According to the Otago Daily Times, the course will teach the boys “how to act like a sophisticated man,” including dining etiquette, how Read more...

Roots Still Not Forgotten

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Dunedin’s most famous roots band, Six60, haven’t forgotten their roots. In fact, these roots have been remembered so well, locked so tightly in Six60’s collective temporal lobes, that they have announced a show in the little old town from whence they spawned. Six60 will rise up onto the stage at Read more...

Psycho Nerd Goes on One-Man Killstreak

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Claudia Herron

An online gamer has tragically turned his fantasy “Guild Wars” game into a real-life “killed wars” game after losing a fantasy battle and allegedly killing his cyber rival. Police believe the attack was most likely motivated by the game the pair were playing prior to the incident. A dispute is said Read more...

ODT Invents 19 People

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Zane Pocock

The Otago Daily Times are at it again, this week falsely reporting on a meeting they didn’t attend. The gathering in question was hosted last Tuesday afternoon at OUSA’s Recreation Centre by the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA). It was a workshop designed to involve students in Read more...

O-Week Induces O-Faces

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Claudia Herron

Orientation ’13 has been hailed as one of the best yet, with this year’s batch of fizzed-up freshers much better behaved than the previous year. The week was jam-packed with successful events, including the never-tiresome Toga Party, perennial favourite Guy Cater, headlining act Macklemore & Ryan Read more...

Hyde Street's Future in Jeopardy

Posted 5:18pm Sunday 3rd March 2013 by Sam McChesney

Yesterday a rip opened in the space-time continuum, and Critic peered through a wormhole into the future. In this future, the 2013 Hyde Street Keg Party had been overtaken by meataxes. An influx of Christchurch bogans and the nihilism of the street’s inhabitants had wreaked havoc: people swung from Read more...

College Sports Day Occurs

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Hayden McGregor

College Sports Day 2013 was held on the Tuesday of O-Week. The new batch of freshers arrived to enjoy some friendly competition against their hall rivals, as well as impress their new friends with some deft skills in touch rugby, netball, volleyball and football. Dunedin’s unusually good summer form Read more...

Sport stops you getting fat, look it up.

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Gus Gawn

The sports pages are back for another year. One more year of denying the indie kids their ultimate goal of reserving Critic for unreadable niche comic strips, reviews of bands you never heard of and articles they plagiarised off Vice. Luckily, in 2013 we once again have an editor who loves his Read more...

OUSA Lauches Fair Trade Campaign

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Sam McChesney

OUSA pushed its new fair trade message at Tent City on Thursday. The policy, which has been approved by the student body and the University Council, aims to bring predominantly fair trade products to the already laughably overpriced campus shelves. The smell of freshly-roasted Rwandan coffee Read more...

Politicians jump on the O-Week bandwagon

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Sam McChesney

During O-Week, many things appear in the otherwise calm streets of Dunedin – short shorts, drunken bellows, vomit, cheery reps bearing vouchers that sound great when sensually pressed into your palm but actually promise nothing more than $1 off a kilo of tomatoes at the farmers’ market. The seasoned Read more...

"Thank you for letting me come here and dry hump your women!"

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Claudia Herron

These were the words not of a Labrador on heat, but Macklemore as he headlined Orientation 2013 at Forsyth Barr Stadium alongside Ryan Lewis. After 20 weeks charting on the Billboard 100, with hit song “Thrift Shop” peaking at #1, Macklemore proved the ultimate crowd-puller with the 5000-strong gig Read more...

Zombie Spotted At Toga Party

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Bella Macdonald

O-Week events were in full flight this week with 3000 freshers attending Forsyth Barr Stadium to take part in the infamous Toga Party on Tuesday night. DJs Swaren Veygal and 50Cal announced that it was, in fact, the biggest toga party in the world, to which the ear-piercing freshers shrieked Read more...

Student Culture Is Fucked

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Zane Pocock

Castle Street has officially become lame following the completed transformation of the former Gardens Tavern (“Gardies”) into a $3.3 million University-owned and operated student study centre. The building, located at the north end of Castle Street, was a much- loved and notorious student night spot Read more...

Proctor Approves Of Arm-Breaking As Form Of Punishment

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Bella Macdonald

Two University of Otago students had a disarming start to their O-Week after fall- ing off the roof of their flat, each breaking an arm. The incidents were subsequently leaked to the Otago Daily Times, humiliating the pair. The pair had been drinking a few beers when one of them fell off the Read more...

OUSA Cook-ing up a deal?

Posted 9:40pm Sunday 24th February 2013 by Claudia Herron

Uncertainty surrounds the future of beloved student pub The Captain Cook Tavern, with DB Breweries’ lease of the bar due to run out on 29 June. The current sub-lessees, the Cook Brothers, have indicated that they do not intend to renew while OUSA have denied any bid to pick up the lease. However, Read more...

A trip down memory lane with Josh Kronfeld

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Gus Gawn

I’m a try-hard writer, so I’ll start with a quote: “It's true what they say, you should never meet your heroes, you'll only be disappointed.” (Father Dougal McGuire). Father Dougal is an idiot. Meeting your heroes is great. When I fell in love with rugby Josh Kronfeld was the best player in Read more...

Students Elect Students To The Student Seats Of Said Students’ Uni’s Council

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Staff Reporter

It’s been a full week since we had a student-based election round these parts – far too long, in Critic’s opinion. So for your voting pleasure, we present the Student Elections to the University Council. The Council is the governing body of the Uni, so it’s pretty important that there are students Read more...

Goble Gobbles Pussy

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Josie Adams

The year is coming to an end, and so is the career of one of the country’s foremost stars in student journalism: Howie Staples. During his illustrious career at Critic, which spanned a single year, Howie had his own column, graced the cover, recovered from a narcotics addiction, fooled some into Read more...

Otago Becomes Cheekier, Darker

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Claudia Herron

The number of Maori students enrolled at the University of Otago has increased by 23% over the last five years, although research has shown that Maori from poorer socio-economic areas are still under-represented in all professional programs relating to health sciences. Otago Health Sciences Read more...

It’s a Hard Knock Life

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Margot Taylor

A proposed refurbishment of the 116 year old Dunedin Prison will provide the opportunity for people to see the inside of a cell without having to be arrested. The former prison was bought by the Dunedin Charitable Trust in June for a mere $20,000. The prison was last home to criminals in Read more...

“Your Degree Is Fucking Useless” - NZ Herald

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Zane Pocock

In a prime example of how The New Zealand Herald has gone tabloid, they claimed last week that an international report shows that “New Zealand university degrees are the most worthless in the developed world”. The OECD report showed that the life-long value of a New Zealand man’s tertiary Read more...

Muhammad Zariq Farhan bin Mohd Hanif Wins Gold Award

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Gus Gawn

OUSA has presented the annual Otago Blues and Golds awards to the top athletes and cultural stars of the University of Otago. This is the 105th year in which the Blues have been awarded to students who have achieved to a high level in their chosen sport. The Golds Awards, which are in their Read more...

Affirmative Action Policy Leads to Selection of Right-Wing Editor

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Dennis Larson

The political neutrality and general quality of Critic magazine are in jeopardy after radical right-wing activist and suspected larcenist Callum Fredric was selected as Critic Editor for 2013. Fredric’s political bias is ingrained in the very follicles of his hair, which he has partially dyed Read more...

Idea Stolen From France Hailed as “Audacious”

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Claudia Herron

The Public Trust Building hosted a lavish awards ceremony for the 2012 Audacious student business plan competition, in which Ryan Everton took out the top honour with his sustainable plastic cup. Everton received $8,000 to put toward his company Globelet, which aims to reduce waste in New Zealand. Read more...

Criminals kill each other, crime rate drops

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Bella Macdonald

New Zealand Police are giving themselves a big pat on the back after statistics released show that reported crime in New Zealand has reduced, despite a significant increase in the number of murders. NZ police revealed a 5.2% decrease in national reported crime in their release of the national Read more...

Maddy Phillipps highly commended at Student Press Awards

Posted 5:59pm Sunday 7th October 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Critic is once again bathing in the nectar of success after taking out Best Student Publication at the annual Aotearoa Student Press Association (APSA) awards in Wellington on September 28. Otago’s student mag raked in the top prizes of Best Student Publication, Best Editorial, Best Series Read more...

“I didn’t have any injuries except a brain injury”

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Gus Gawn

What’s not to like about Nitro Circus? Action sports athletes who are equal parts talented and unhinged throwing and contorting themselves off enormous jumps on both conventional and improvised toys… it’s a great concept! The same sadistic curiosity that enticed people to attend events in the hope Read more...

New Apps for the Intolerant, Autistic, and Musically Illiterate

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Bella Macdonald

Millions of dollars were thrown around in the dragon’s den of Castle 1 Lecture theatre during the APPSTAR Showdown on Wednesday September 26. The event was the final stage of a competition in which entrants came up with an idea for a smartphone app to be developed by Otago Innovation Ltd. The Read more...

Student Artists Actually Explain the Meaning of their Work

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Callum Fredric

The 5th Annual OUSA Art Week put over $3000 into the hands of Dunedin’s student artists, with 56 out of the 200 pieces on display were sold. Students viewing the artwork were encouraged to vote for their favourite piece in the People’s Choice Awards. The winner was Chelsea Thomson’s work Read more...

Man Commits Suicide. Oops, Critic Broke the Law

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Zane Pocock

New media reporting guidelines released last year by the Chief Coroner have been called into question by University of Otago Professor David Fergusson and Auckland's Dr. Annette Beautrais in an editorial published in the New Zealand Medical Journal. Prof. Fergusson and Dr. Beautrais say that Read more...

Mental Health Nurses Define Yelling as Assault

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Margot Taylor

The increasing use of synthetic cannabis is being cited as a reason for the rising number of assaults on mental health workers. In the first seven months of the year there were 131 reported assaults on Otago Southern District Health Board mental health services staff, a rise of 37% on the same Read more...

City Councillor Edgar Putting the GC in DCC

Posted 5:01pm Sunday 30th September 2012 by Zane Pocock

OUSA President Logan Edgar has backed away from claims made on Radio One last Thursday that he is starting a campaign to be elected to the Dunedin City Council next October. He is, however, “really considering it”. In the meantime, Edgar is meeting this week with the Mayor and the Electoral Read more...

Colleges Officer Organises College Sports for Colleges

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Juana Diesing

Aquinas scored a late goal to snatch the overall trophy from Arana last Wednesday, marking the end of the inaugural inter-College Soccer Trophy. Eight Colleges contested the first-ever competition, with all matches played under lights on Wednesday evenings at Logan Park. Aquinas was an early Read more...

I’m Gunna Break Your Face

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Greg Hall

After the last incident regarding a certain Gus Gawn (Sports Editor and world renowned yonker) and the NZ Breakers, the powers that be at Critic decided to send their most popular reporter to the preseason game against the Wollongong Hawks. The Critic security team signed off on this straight away, Read more...

Fraudster Gambles On Freedom, Loses

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Claudia Herron

Name suppression has been lifted for the former University of Otago accounts manager who admitted to stealing almost $240,000 from the University over seven years. Graeme “Petty Cash” Pettitt has pleaded guilty to eight charges of accessing the university’s electronic accounting system between March Read more...

House Prices in Freefall, Sell! Sell! Sell!

Posted 4:25pm Sunday 23rd September 2012 by Margot Taylor

Figures released by the Real Estate Institute of New Zealand show that over the last year Dunedin house prices have seen the largest fall of all major cities in the country. In August 2011 the median house price in Dunedin was $260,000. As of August 2012, a significant $20,000 has been Read more...