Renovations to the University’s staff club facility are expected to run about $150,000 over budget, bringing the total cost of the project above $750,000.
The building is more than a century old, having opened in 1907, and has been the staff club since 1980. Because of the club’s highly exclusive nature, Critic is not allowed to report the specifics of the renovations. One student speculated that the newly-pimped-out club contained “a coffee waterfall, an academia-themed roller coaster, and a tower made of ivory.”
Another student, having snuck inside to perv at the changes, described it as “the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” before quietly starting to weep.
According to an OUSA spokesperson, the staff club is “still the best place on campus for a cheap coffee and a sneaky poo.” Despite the overspending he was supportive of the renovation, claiming that “unhappy lecturers make dumb students.”
Still the best place to defecate on campus
