Archive

Editorial: The Uni Budget Collapse if it were a Deck

Posted 1:05pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Fox Meyer

Let's say you live in a flat with an awesome, party-ready deck. It costs a bit to maintain, but that’s okay because it’s the right thing to do. People love coming over to party on the deck and it’s totally safe because your landlord pays the maintenance bill. It’s their Read more...

Booze Review: Your Uncle's Homebrew

Posted 1:03pm Sunday 9th July 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

New Zealand’s unhealthy relationship with alcohol is built on the solid foundations of your uncle’s homebrew.    Whether the uncle in question is yours or a mate’s, the product is the same. You’ve likely had a shot of their 80% alc/vol moonshine which was Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 13

Posted 6:35pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to enter your problematic era. Start some shit, spread a rumor, call it how you see it. Take no prisoners this week, besties. Scandal of the week: Pizzagate.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 There is something about pisces and your ability to Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Green Curry

Posted 6:23pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

It's a freezing Dunners Tuesday. You're nearly on the downhill slope to the weekend, but it's still shit because it's 2 degrees and you’re not quite there yet. Your living room is colder than it is outside and your puffer vest and beanie aren't quite stopping your breath Read more...

Pōpopo - Jamiema Lorimer | Local Produce

Posted 6:17pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Would you still love me if I was a worm? Pōpopo wormporium, the composting initiative of Otago Polytechnic, definitely would. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Liam Hoffman and his worms to find out more. Pōpopo is OP’s very own composting facility created to deal with Read more...

Moaninful Confession: Seal the Deal

Posted 6:13pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Critic

It was break, and we were spending a few nights at my boyfriend’s parent’s place. Naturally we both were hungry for some alone time. So off we go: “an excursion for fresh air”. We walked and talked, but that just wasn’t cutting it. Next thing I knew, a quiet kiss on the Read more...

Editorial: Vic Uni’s Student Mag SCANDAL

Posted 5:22pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Victoria University Wellington has joined Otago University in announcing substantial job cuts in the wake of financial strain. Because of course they did, they’re always trying to copy us. The announcement that Otago will be entering a newer, slimmer staffing era (so chic!) sent ripples Read more...

Booze Review: Fizzliss Old Fashioned Lemonade + Vodka

Posted 5:18pm Monday 29th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Built into the human genome is a predisposition toward enjoying bubbles. All things bubbly. Bubbles in my bath, bubbles that meander through the air, Bubbles shooting up heroin in the streets of West Baltimore. A momentary existence punctuated with a satisfying *pop*; there is no situation that does Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 12

Posted 4:16pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Troubled waters ahead! Be sure to navigate your friendships and relationships accordingly, as tension is on the horizon. Also, wash your sheets. It’s been way too long. Kiwi tune to play: ‘Something In The Water’ by Brooke Fraser Pisces Feb Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Yearner’s License

Posted 4:13pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Critic

It started at a beach at sunset and ended at an ice rink parking lot. As all good stories do. We had pulled up at Kilda to do the whole romantic thing of watching the sun setting over the sea. It worked - things were getting heated and before I knew it my shirt was off. The condensation on the Read more...

Editorial: Music to My Ears

Posted 4:10pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Fox Meyer

As it’s music month, I can’t think of any better time to introduce this gem from the past: ACT MP David Seymour’s first appearance on the decks as a DJ, from back in his days as a student at Auckland Uni. This is honestly such an important part of NZ music culture and I Read more...

Chargrills: Brownies

Posted 4:07pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s setting in and dinner just doesn't cut it sometimes. Most flats have a bunch of baking supplies leftover from the mid-Covid baking panic of 2021, so make use of them. Stop frowning and make your flat a brownie. This is one of the top three things I've had in my mouth. Get into Read more...

Booze Review: Purple Death

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

All the appeal of cough syrup, without the fun effects. Purple Death is like a Fast & Furious marathon: you’re excited to revel in something objectively terrible with your friends, and it is fun initially, but after three hours of staring at Vin Diesel's fat head you begin to wonder Read more...

Local Produce: Je Pleure

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 21st May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Je Pleure is a fashion brand established by Jack King. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with the young designer from Ōtepoti. Je Pleure first began as an alias Jack used to release his own art under. “I was originally going to call it ‘I CRY’ until my French friend blurted Read more...

Booze Review: Rochdale Classic Apple Cider

Posted 3:07pm Monday 15th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Four ciders a day makes your doctor go, “Oh, fuck.”   Rochdale Classic Apple Cider is an economical drop for breathers that want to piss off their beer-loving friends. Why is it that every time cider is brought up in a public conversation, some tradie in a mucked-out ute Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 11

Posted 3:39pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s easy to feel alone in this world. But don’t worry. A new, special someone is on the horizon for you. Don’t give up on love and comfort, it’s just around the corner. Snack of the week: Spring rolls.  Pisces Feb 19 - Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Pumpkin Soup

Posted 3:35pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Winter’s here, so it’s time to get warm from the inside out. Soup is slept on so hard until you have it again for the first time in years and you get to dip a chunk of hearty bread into a thick bowl of saucy goodness, feeling like a medieval peasant after a hard day’s toil in the Read more...

Local Produce: The Beatniks

Posted 3:32pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Beatniks are named after the track ‘Beatnik’ by OG Dunedin Sound band The Clean, which itself makes reference to the Beat Generation subculture of the 60s. Although what The Beatniks do is different to what happened in the 60s, they’re part of a subculture of their own: the Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Not begging for moa

Posted 2:53pm Sunday 14th May 2023 by Critic

Music has the ability to bring people together. So do taxidermied moa. And blowjobs. As it turns out, all of the above can also tear people apart and sow weeks of exasperated sighs into your everyday life. Let me explain: It was midnight on a Friday. I was single and “ethically” Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 10

Posted 2:13pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to sack up and take a stand on what matters. You can’t be a passive people-pleaser for the rest of your life, it’s important to have an opinion in the pursuit of what is right. Activity of the week: Give a shit Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Dinner and a Show

Posted 2:00pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

I was travelling recently and, as luck would have it, I was upgraded to the top floor of the Quest apartments by the Old Bank in downtown Wellington. It’s a fancy art deco complex above Starbucks. Class, plenty of room to hang out between adventures in the big city, and bonus: I could spy on Read more...

Takeaways

Posted 1:59pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Critic

Something to: Watch The Wife Swap George Bush episode: The Patrick and Leierwood Family episode is what your flat is missing. One family is an uber-conservative, hella-patriotic American military family who LOVES George W Bush. Meanwhile, the other family consists of Godless hippies who Read more...

Chargrills: Teriyaki Build-a-Bowl

Posted 1:57pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This is a super easy, low maintenance option for a quick and healthy dinner while only having to cook the rice and protein. More colour = more nutrients. Get amongst it.   Ingredients 800g chicken breast or tofu, cut into bite size chunks Oil Teriyaki sauce sachet/bottle 3-4 Read more...

Editorial: Conespiracy

Posted 1:43pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Fox Meyer

Cone theft from George Street is costing the DCC $40k a year, and students are copping the blame. Can’t be surprised, though: Dunedin students love cones of many varieties. We broke this story last week, which was picked up by Stuff, Spinoff, Seven Sharp and the Breakfast Show. Not that any Read more...

Booze Review: Ginger Bear

Posted 1:37pm Sunday 7th May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

With a name like Ginger Bear, it would be too easy to make a joke about being fucked in my ass by a 300+ pound, ginger-haired, Todd-from-Breaking-Bad-looking guy. So I won’t. Crimson Badger Brewing’s Ginger Bear is the perfect reintroduction to a medium of drinks that have otherwise Read more...

Booze Review: Riot Punch

Posted 3:29pm Monday 1st May 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Riot Punch is the perfect drink to serve during half-time at a 3rd XV highschool rugby game. Riot Punch is an evil alchemy, being both incredibly easy to execute and terrifyingly effective. Through many years of painstaking research, a perfect recipe was developed: cheap vodka paired with blue Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 9

Posted 4:20pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

  Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Aquarius, it’s time to wake up. Someone in your close circle may be up to no good, so it’s time to reevaluate who is in your nearest and dearest posse. Bar to visit: Woof!  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 And first of all, I wanna Read more...

Just Like the Movies

Posted 4:05pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Critic

I made this high on brownies. True story tho, enjoy: It was the third date and we had just finished up at the movies. He suggested that we go somewhere. I gave a shy “okay” smiley nod and then followed him out onto the street. We walked for a while trying to find the perfect private Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Red Curry

Posted 4:03pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

I've just been to Thailand. It'd be rude not to do a Thai beef red curry. You will love this.  Thai Red Curry Ingredients Oil 700-800g beef rump steak, cut into small cubes Salt & pepper 1 brown onion, diced 1 tsp crushed garlic 1 tsp ginger (if you have Read more...

Editorial: Bats

Posted 3:50pm Sunday 30th April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Really didn't know what to write about this week, so here’s how I caused a minor rabies scare in rural Ohio. I started out attending uni at a shit school in the shittest state in the entirety of America: Ohio. I only went because they gave me money and I will never forgive them for it. Read more...

Why are you poor?

Posted 3:14pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Only losers are poor, and if you’re poor, it’s your fault. There are so many reasons why it’s your fault, so we’ve designed this quiz to help you really figure out the answer so you can get back on that #grind. What are you spending the most money on that you could do Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Can’t Beetle this Juice

Posted 2:59pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

I know there have been some less-positive confessions lately, so here’s something slightly more wholesome. Slightly. It’s around 2am and most of our flat’s in bed, save for two (let’s call them Nikki and Molly, not using real names). The door of the flat opens, and Nikki Read more...

Local Produce: Saurian

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Saurian make music that matches their name: hard rock. Critic Te Ārohi managed to catch up with the band in the midst of their current tour. Saurian is Karl (guitar/vocals), Cameron (guitar), Logan (bass), and Hamish (drums). Saurian have been a band since 2015, starting with Karl and Hamish Read more...

Chargrills: potato bake

Posted 2:56pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This shit is simple and dope. Feeds 8, so there definitely will be leftovers. Pair with a bit of cheap rump steak and steamed broccoli or whatever else you feel like running. 1kg potatoes, peeled 150g cheese, grated 1.5 cups of cream and/or milk 2 cloves fresh garlic, Read more...

Editorial: why capitalism is actually great for the environment

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Thanks to Margret Thatcher (#girlboss) and a few other legends, we all get to live in the wonderful world of industrial capitalism. They also call it neoliberalism, which is like Neopets but for money. It’s very slay and cute. We get to use this thing called “the market” that Read more...

Booze Review: Soju

Posted 2:32pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Soju sounds like a slur Walt Disney would use. It’s not, though. It’s booze. It seems that these days I have exhausted my excitement for alcohol. Bored of beer, sick of RTD’s, and left with broken spirit(s). The novelty is gone and I wonder what is the point of destroying my Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 8

Posted 2:16pm Sunday 23rd April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to celebrate yourself, Aquarians! Give yourself a sweet treat and a pat on the back for all your efforts. You deserve it. Political ideology to subscribe to: Anarchism.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Pisces, it goes without saying you have Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 7

Posted 12:07pm Sunday 16th April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 While you may be enjoying life mentally and physically, it’s your financial wellbeing you should check in on. This is your yearly reminder that course related costs are not actually free money. Drug to indulge in: Shrooms.  Pisces Feb 19 - Mar Read more...

Local Produce: Ōtepoti Slam Collective

Posted 12:03pm Sunday 16th April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Ōtepoti Slam Collective (ŌSC), formerly the Dunedin Slam Collective, was founded by poet and playwright Kerry Lane. Alongside hosting open mic poetry nights until 2019, ŌSC also hosted competitive regional slams that were integrated with the NZ Young Writers Festival from 2017 Read more...

Dirty, Dirty Laundry

Posted 11:59am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Critic

It began late, on an otherwise unremarkable Wednesday night. I was buried in a pile of laundry, trying to figure out how I'd let myself accumulate such a mountain of dirty clothes. As I was loading the washing machine in our hall’s basement laundry room, I noticed a strikingly attractive Read more...

Chargrills: Yeastless Focaccia

Posted 11:48am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Sick of buying bread? Wheat it and weep.  Ingredients: 350g self raising flour  250ml warm water 3 tbsp oil, preferably of the olive variety Pinch of salt  Any herbs or seeds you can find laying around - I used pumpkin seeds and some dried thyme.  Need more Read more...

Editorial: You have a problem that drugs can’t fix

Posted 11:45am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Fox Meyer

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it a million times: there’s a damn good reason so many of you think you have ADHD. Or autism. Or whatever it is that’s in fashion at the moment. It might seem “normal” to us, having grown up with it, but the current idea of what Read more...

Booze Review: The Ned Pinot Gris

Posted 11:28am Sunday 16th April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Most Dunedinites won’t drink a bottle of wine until they’re face-to-face with a butter chicken curry. After all, nothing pairs better with naan than a $7.50 bottle of Cleanskin Sauvignon Blanc - the curry equivalent of a Happy Meal, served alongside what is basically the piss of a French Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 6

Posted 3:31pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 There lies a difficult road ahead for Aquarians this week. Navigate your challenges with caution, and be sure to act on logic rather than emotion. Anger and short temperament won’t get you very far.  Plant to cultivate: The dead basil you’ve Read more...

Local Produce: Tini Whetū Project Space

Posted 3:28pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

Tini Whetū Project Space is an experimental art gallery and space, curated by Piupiu Maya Turei (Wairarapa Moana, Te Ātihaunui-a-Pāpārangi). Tini Whetū is situated in the upper-level of Yours on Moray Place, in both the corridor leading to Evening Bookstore and the bookstore Read more...

Booze review: Haägen Strøng

Posted 3:25pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

  Initially launched as a wartime ration distributed to the ANZACs, Haägen Strong has found its way to being a staple across the diets of many New Zealanders. Trying to find a can of this stuff while it’s on special at the supermarket is difficult, as its primary consumers are Read more...

Chargrills: Veggie Spag

Posted 3:20pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Want to avoid getting sick as it gets a bit colder? This veggie packed spag bol will help keep your immune system sharp as a tack. Add more protein if you want!! Stir-fried beef would go well with this. Ingredients: Oil 1 brown onion, diced 2 tbsp tomato paste (optional) 2 Read more...

Get Your Rocks Off

Posted 3:17pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Critic

Picture this: a chilly Friday night, my flatmates were away, and I was bored out of my mind. My hormones were in full swing, and I had no other choice but to resort to the one app that had never failed me: Tinder. After swiping right on a guy who looked like the lost Hemsworth brother (or so I Read more...

Editorial: Ocean’s Eleven Bar and Grill

Posted 2:58pm Sunday 2nd April 2023 by Fox Meyer

Avid readers will remember the year’s first issue, in which we talked about how Eleven Bar couldn't be bothered with boring legal stuff like fire or food safety (yawn) and breached the Sale and Supply of Liquor Act from nineteen-ninety-whatever. Cracking stuff, right? Well, no, we know Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 5

Posted 4:21pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 My mama told me when I was young, we were all born superstars. She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on in the glass of her boudoir. Queertivity of the week: Rock climbing.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 "There's nothing wrong with loving who Read more...

Local Produce: The Bowling Club

Posted 4:15pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

The Bowling Club Dunedin is $4 Lunch’s hot new friend. Though the joint is a bit far from campus, partners Jackie and Liam have set up a reliable, delicious eatery for anyone, no matter your price range. When we got there, the line was nearly out the door. And it wasn’t hard to see Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Gatekeep, Gaslight, Gossip Girl

Posted 4:12pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Critic

Every time I close my eyes, I’m reminded of the most disappointing night of my life. Three years ago, I was a bottle of wine and a butter chicken deep and decided that it would be the night I finally got some. I was on a mission, so I downloaded Tinder and managed to snag one with a missing Read more...

Chargrills: Pad Thai

Posted 4:06pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Love Pad Thai, but poor? Me too. Look no further. This shit is gangster for a flat of 5-6 and if you split the bill it’s pretty cheap. Ingredients: 600g protein (could use chicken breast, prawns, tofu or chickpeas) Broccoli head 2 large carrots 2 cups frozen beans (I used mung Read more...

Editorial: Try the Broccoli

Posted 4:01pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Who do you trust more: a kid that’s never tried broccoli but insists he doesn’t like it, or a kid who says he doesn’t like it because he’s tried it once? Anyway, in this editorial I’m going to explain why it’s less gay to suck one dick than it is to never suck a Read more...

Booze review: Byron Bay Brewery Piña Colada Sparkling Cocktail

Posted 3:56pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

RTDs are like your friend's untrained dog: fun to play with at first, but with the potential to leave a child face down on the asphalt. Being little more than over-championed sugar water, RTDs have incurred a tenfold amount of bad karma than they have good. On the cosmic scales of justice, Read more...

How Should You Come Out?

Posted 3:44pm Sunday 26th March 2023 by Arlo Hill

You’ve done some soul-searching and made some realisations about yourself, and now you’re ready to tell the world. Congratulations! All that’s left is to decide how to do it. While we can’t ascertain what you’re coming out with, we can tell you the best way for you to Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 4

Posted 3:05pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 While it’s in your nature to be blunt and direct, sometimes this can come off as a little mean. It’s important to remember how you speak to people. It may be hard to believe, but sometimes others actually do have feelings. Location to visit: St Clair Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Cherry cherry boom boom

Posted 3:01pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Critic

I remember it as if it was yesterday.   New Year’s Eve was in the air, and my hunger for an intimate partner for the night was in full swing. I was talking to this girl at the time, and we thought New Year’s would be the primo opportunity to finally do it.   As she Read more...

Chargrills: Corn Frittazzzzz

Posted 2:47pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

The last three recipes have had heaps of ingredients, so here's one with just five must-add ingredients. It's corn.   In saying that, maize well load ‘em up with sour cream and/or sweet chilli if you've got any. Corn’t go wrong with a few greens on the side. Read more...

Editorial: The Silence of the Sulphur-Crested Cockatoos

Posted 2:42pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

I cannot stress how much interviewing Sid (page 20) felt like interviewing Hannibal Lector.   We started off in the aviary’s kitchen, getting a safety debrief. We were told that this individual was highly intelligent, that he has a history with visitors, and not to let him get too Read more...

Booze Review: Part Time Rangers

Posted 2:23pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Part Time Rangers provide aid to at-risk animals worldwide, donating 10% from every can to various charities. They are yet to help out the orangutan addicted to heroin in my basement.   The gimmick is that each box has a nice animal on it, and depending on the box you buy, you will be Read more...

In the Eyes of the Beholder: Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 2:18pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Callout: This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews   Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out Read more...

Local Produce: Yours: Your Place for Coffee and Anarchy

Posted 2:06pm Sunday 19th March 2023 by Zak Rudin

Yours, a workers co-op, cafe and creative hangout space, opened late last year on 43 Moray Place. Being anarchist and all, Yours does not place too much of an emphasis on financial quantitative transactions, instead opting for manaakitanga and relationship-building. Critic Te Ārohi sat down Read more...

Which Instant Noodle Are You?

Posted 2:14pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

You’re on campus and need a caffeine hit. Where are you getting it from? Cafe Albany I stopped in at my favourite coffee spot on the way in Can of Boss coffee from campus shop No matter where I am, I’ll be trekking it to Bagelo’s   How is Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: Brother-in-law gets fucked hard (by the law)

Posted 1:58pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Critic

Is this sex related? No. At least not in a good way. But since I can’t afford therapy, winning a free sex toy from Critic for this story is as close as I’ll get.   The story begins back in October when I started receiving TikToks from my mates back home of a girl saying her Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 3

Posted 1:57pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Do something cute for yourself this week. It’s time for some much needed self-care. Get a fancy coffee or a sweet treat. Buy yourself something you definitely don’t need. You deserve it!  Drink for the week: Dirty Read more...

Chargrills: Meatballs and tzatziki

Posted 1:46pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Everyone loves a meaty ball, so birdbath this shit. Get out of the spa-ghetto and try meatballs without tomato sauce and with tzatziki instead. This is good tucka.   MEATBALL INGREDIENTS:   BASE 2 cups rice (or your choice of grain) 3 tbsp Read more...

Editorial: Give Me Burrito or Give Me Death

Posted 1:20pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Pretty much every culture in the world has independently invented the same four things: bladed weapons, fermentation, pigments, and a way to wrap dough around food.   I’m talking sandwiches. I’m talking kebabs, calzones, dumplings, gyros, and, of course, burritos. And it warms Read more...

Crate Review: Waikato Draught

Posted 1:13pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

As a Jaf-ugee, Crate Day always leaves me in a bit of a conundrum. On the one hand, I can try and claim Speights as my crate of origin, but I know deep in my heart I’m no Southern man. On the other hand, Lion Red is fucking disgusting. However, this year, I was saved the agonizing choice by my Read more...

Local Produce: What Does My Landlord Own?

Posted 12:50pm Sunday 12th March 2023 by Zak Rudin

“What Does My Landlord Own?” is a website that allows users to enter an address and see other properties tied to that owner. The website was launched early this year by an anonymous team known as “sunset_flowers” determined to “help address the vast inequalities present Read more...

Moaningful Confessions: The threesome that was never meant to be

Posted 2:43pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Critic

  It started off as any good sexual encounter would: we had all been drinking for three days straight and were feeling somewhere between delirium and death. I had been talking to one co-worker named Jimmy (not his real name) and feeling a bit promiscuous. We had spent the last few days Read more...

Local Produce: Pedals Dunedin

Posted 2:38pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

This week, Critic Te Ārohi caught up with our favourite biker gang: Pedals Dunedin. Pedals is Ōtepoti’s first and only bike courier service and easily the most friendly, in both the eco and literal sense. The Pedals team consists of Liam Harrison and Ashley Read more...

Chargrills: Thai Orange Chicken

Posted 2:30pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

Pissed about the price of prawns? Give this chicken a crack. If this recipe was a famous person it would be Jonah Hill on 21 Jump Street. We’re talking missionary. We're talking when I'm on top and she's on her back. Good staple to start off with, but couldn't do it every time. Read more...

Editorial: Hide yo bongs, hide yo wife

Posted 2:14pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

Bongs get stolen all the time. While this is objectively pretty funny, it highlights a particular problem created by the fact that weed is still illegal in this country. Set aside for a moment any problems you may have with the institution of law enforcement - a big ask, I know. But let’s Read more...

Booze Review: Billy Mav

Posted 2:08pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

Behind every jovial flat party, every electric scooter thrown through a glass window, and every deck that spews DnB onto the street...is Billy Maverick. He is the lifeblood of North Dunedin. If the Leith were to ever dry up, it would be replaced with bourbon and cola. Billy Mavs come exclusively Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 2

Posted 1:51pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 It’s time to be more intentional with your relationships. Sometimes you have a tendency to space out and miss life’s important moments. Be sure to work on this, as you have plenty of love to give.  Bad habit to break: Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 5th March 2023 by Fox Meyer

This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews   Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the Read more...

Local Produce: [Allophones]

Posted 7:44pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Jamiema Lorimer

The Allophones are Barney, Ben, and Tane. Barney and Ben are also siblings. “Allophones” are also a group of sounds that a certain combination of letters can make (linguistics students, please don’t come for me). You could also say an “allophone” is a singular member of Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 1

Posted 7:35pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 The stars are aligning for you! This year the universe is moving into Aquarius, you lucky ducks. Be prepared for some freaky shit to happen from March till June xx New Year’s Resolution: Make the most out of every moment.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar Read more...

Editorial: I am once again asking for a student bar

Posted 6:53pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Fox Meyer

This debate has been raging for a while, but let me get you up to speed. Dunedin lost its last student bar two years ago (RIP Starters). Previous bars had closed because they weren’t profitable or because they were bought out - sometimes by the Uni, sometimes not. Split hairs over that all you Read more...

Chargrills | Prawn rice noodle salad

Posted 6:35pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Charly Burnett @chargrillss

This salad is out the gate and super shrimple. Mean option for a hot Dunners day and isn't heavy on the tummy. Crack in! INGREDIENTS: 300g prawns ($8.80 at Pakkies) Dried basil Mixed herbs Oil A packet of rice noodles A telegraph cuc 2 XL carrots One capsicum An Read more...

Booze Review | BRB Haze of our Lives

Posted 6:16pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Albert Einsteinlager

The rumble of student shitboxes returning to Otago; freshers and breathers sinking piss hand over fist; littered streets strewn with eggshells. Nature is healing.   These scenes are nothing uncommon for the students of North D, as they gear up for their Flo and O Weeks. Fourteen days of Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Tap and Gap ASAP

Posted 5:38pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Critic

It was the Saturday of Re-O and, after a week of pouring rain and a lack of alcohol consumed, I knew tonight was the night I needed to send it. So, obviously the only way to do this was to down as many vodka shots as physically possible. I’m not going to lie, I truly did this to the best of my Read more...

Fresher Simulator: O-Week

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 26th February 2023 by Lotto Ramsay

1. Welcome (Start here) You’re a fresher (our condolences) arriving at Dunedin airport for the first time ever. You marvel at all the butt-fuck-nowhere around you. Off to collect your luggage! Where did you fly in from, again? A: Auckland (Go to 11) B: Somewhere else (Go to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Dick munter

Posted 8:18pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic

Dunedin is great, but if the ‘Dunedin Experience’ involves, as he described it “the worst sex story I can think of” I’m not sure the wonderful student experience is worth it.    For context, I wasn’t sure we would have sex again after a couple weeks of Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 26

Posted 8:15pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Forever young is good in theory, but some of us have to live with you. Take some responsibility for how you behave and watch good things come to you. Also, clean your kitchen. Put on your summer to-do list: Keep a list of every beach you Read more...

Booze Review | Budweiser is Unpatriotic

Posted 8:10pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Chug Norris

Every country in the world has a national beer. Australia has VB, New Zealand has, for some fucking reason, Tui, and Budweiser is known first and foremost as the national beer of the trainwreck of a country that calls itself the United States. But something seems wrong about Budweiser representing Read more...

Mr. Worldwide

Posted 8:06pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Mr. Worldwide

This week, we have an image supplied by Ben. We got last issue’s correct, Jeff was in Auckland, specifically Queens wharf, looking at that art place. First thoughts: It feels like this photo was taken in Aotearoa due to the trees but there’s also trains, so. We’ll Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 7:58pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn

Callout: This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews   Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what Read more...

Editorial: It’s initiation season

Posted 6:21pm Sunday 9th October 2022 by Fox Meyer

I’ve been to two universities in the States, both of them had Greek life. Neither was as problematic as Dunedin’s initiation scene. Stop celebrating, that’s not a good thing.  One thing that you can celebrate (I guess) is that Kiwis would absolutely destroy American frat Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Signal Hole

Posted 5:24pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic

My partner and I were both the first people in our respective flats to get Covid. Because of this, it meant that once we were done with our isolation and our flatmates got Covid, we didn’t have to isolate, so we were able to see each other after their iso had ended. Being able to see them was Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 25

Posted 5:22pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 Should you go out tonight? Yes. Yes you should. Go and buy yourself an aviation cocktail and be sexy and mysterious somewhere. The stars say so. Movie you should revisit: Kill Bill Vol. I.   Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Don’t settle for being Read more...

Booze Review | Pure Blonde tastes like giving up

Posted 5:17pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Chug Norris

Pure Blonde Ultra Low Carb Lager is the type of beer that you drink when you are tired of life. When the joy that you used to receive from simple things like a cold beer has faded into the monotony of the semi-alcoholism of suburban BBQ culture.  But there is also something deeper. You buy a Read more...

Skuxx Food | Rice Paper Dumplings

Posted 5:15pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Rosie Joyce @skuxxfood

Ideal for when you want something fried but also haven’t eaten a vegetable in a while.  Makes 5-6 (1-2 servings) Ingredients:  150 grams (ish) mushrooms, finely diced  3 cloves garlic, minced  1 thumb of ginger, finely grated  ⅛ green cabbage, finely Read more...

In the Eye of the Beholders | Dunedin Art Reviews

Posted 5:09pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Esmond Paterson and Maddie Fenn

This column is supported by DPAG, but they have no influence on the reviews Every week, we send two writers to an art exhibit in Ōtepoti Dunedin. One of them will choose a specific piece, and describe it to the other without them looking. They’ll try to figure out what the piece Read more...

Local Produce: BO And the Constrictors

Posted 5:05pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Jamiema Lorimer

If you’re a breatha and spend your Thursday through Saturday nights at Dunedin Social Club, then you’re probably already familiar with BO And the Constrictors, who describe their sound as “modern vintage pop rock.” Hot off the release of their EP ‘Love’, Critic Read more...

How American Gun Culture Suppressed the Greatest Rock Anthem of our Lifetimes

Posted 2:15pm Sunday 2nd October 2022 by Fox Meyer

But it wasn’t well received in the States. Lots of radio stations refused to play it, because there’s a line that says “her boyfriend’s a dick, he brings a gun to school”. It was released on the one year anniversary of the Columbine massacre, and people did not want to Read more...

Moaningful Confessions | Chemical Warfare

Posted 2:16pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Critic

Being Dunedin’s premier gay, I started my night by browsing my way through Tinder's flawless feed. Dodging the constant barrage of poor attempts at sexual ice breakers, I came face to face with the most handsome breather one could ever set their eyes on. His beautiful, sharp, chiselled jaw Read more...

Horoscopes: Week 24

Posted 2:15pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Critic

Aquarius Jan 20 - Feb 18 To all my Aquarius baddies, your love life is set to intensify so get ready! May your life be filled with love, lust and liquor.  Check off the to do list: Vote in local elections.    Pisces Feb 19 - Mar 20 Sometimes, people can make you Read more...

Booze Review | Country Medium White Wine is a most exquisite vintage

Posted 2:09pm Saturday 24th September 2022 by Chug Norris

Goon has a reputation as a low tier, last-resort type of potation. But while this scurrilous reputation may hold true for pretentious European attempts at goon (see Chasseur), the New Zealand-made Country Medium White Wine is a cardboardeaux that excels and excites in taste, mouthfeel and, most of Read more...