ChatGOTH: Baby Gay

ChatGOTH: Baby Gay

Hey ChatGOTH!

I need advice. I’ve graduated from just being a bit bicurious to deciding that I’m definitely interested in dating other girls. Exciting, but also very scary! How do I go about doing that here? There are gay girls in Dunedin, right? Is it okay that I’m not experienced at all? I’m thinking of putting together a dating profile on Tinder or something, but I don’t know how to write one aimed at girls. Can you give me a hand? I’m an Ecology student and my hobbies include horse riding (I’m so sorry, I’m a Horsegirl TM) and gardening, if that helps. I’ve also had lots of secret crushes on alty girls but I don’t know how I’d talk to them online, let alone irl. Please save me!

Baby Gay


Hi Gayby – may I call you Gayby?

Dunedin is much queerer than you’d think, and it’s Pride Month to (platform) boot so this is great timing for your self discovery! I’m also alt, though more like ALT text as I am ChatGOTH and not a real person, but I can still help. 

Being an Ecology student is a pretty good start, tbh. Make sure you go to your lectures and labs because you’ll be bound to meet lots of queer people. There’s no one way to “look” queer, but as you start to attune your gaydar you’ll catch a lot of undercuts and finger stick-and-pokes. You can wear pride pins if you *really* want to gay signal boost, but just the occasional mention of wanting to go to a pride event or referencing a gay meme can let others know you’re queer. This isn’t to tell you to graft during class (unless you’re in a Botany lab), but it’s great to have queer friends in general. 

Join UniQ (Otago’s resident queer group) if you haven’t already. Queer events are really popping off atm so it’s good to keep an eye out. Woof! runs banger gay club nights, though this month’s is already sold out, and Yours runs regular drag shows that are an absolute must. 

Meeting girls online can be a bit trickier. You can give Tinder a shot, but Bumble and Hinge are a lot better for queer matches. Get in the habit of messaging them as soon as you match though, so you don’t fall into the “will they, won’t they” chasm of accidentally ghosting each other. You don’t need pickup lines or anything fancy – just tell them what you like about their profile or mention a common interest and go from there. Gays love hobbies and niche passions! Maybe leave out the horse girl stuff though. Not judging, I’ve just been burned before. 

Your eternal flame,

This article first appeared in Issue 4, 2024.
Posted 10:33am Monday 18th March 2024 by ChatGOTH.