Moaningful Confessions: Bathroom Olympics

Moaningful Confessions: Bathroom Olympics

This is how I won a $3 plastic trophy for winning a sex competition. Last year a mate and I wanted to attend an event: party buses, bar crawl and silly dress up – ideal. It was a five hour drive away, but we figured that if we found men at the event to shack up with the accommodation was free and therefore the petrol costs barely mattered (girl math). 

So, we found our men, got our silly outfits and were on our way. If three buses, four bars, and over a hundred strangers wasn't exciting enough, we came up with a competition to add another layer of fun. The goal was simple: have sex in as many different bathrooms as possible during the bar crawl, and the person with the most at the end of the night won. Luckily, our chosen men were also keen to complete this challenge (horny). Double luckily, at pres I had managed to swap my sensible jorts for a skirt, which ended up being an advantage (easy access). 

I can’t speak too much for the other couple, but me and my guy smashed it out of the park and managed to go 4/4 on bar bathrooms. Here are the highlights: never been in so many men’s bathrooms in one night (they're kinda gross), managed to get face paint in some unholy places, accidentally had sex with an audience of ten people who were trying to break into the stall and moaning very loudly at us, honestly bend me over a sink in front of a mirror anytime (that shit was hot). 

Post-bus and bars, the two teams reconvened to tally our stats but then realised the night was not over yet and the competition would continue. To the flat who hosted, I am so sorry but there was 100% cum on the wall next to the toilet.

Then it was time to go home (weirdly after my man came on the wall, the hosting flat kicked everyone out… coincidence? probably not) and have a good and restful sleep. SIKE, it was time to go home and fuck in one last bathroom. And just to end this competition on the note it deserved, we finished ;) in a first year hall shower. 

We ended up beating my mate/other team by 2 bathrooms, and came out of the bathroom olympics/bus fuck competition as victors. Not sure I would recommend completing this challenge unless you have an insanely high libido, are okay with people hearing you fuck, and I potentially think it may be on the fuzzy end of legal to have sex in public restrooms… but uh all in the name of victory. 

(PS would also not recommend going for 6 rounds with very little foreplay, was definitely sore the next day)

This article first appeared in Issue 8, 2024.
Posted 8:08pm Sunday 21st April 2024 by Critic.