Aquinas Room Security Still An Issue

Posted 1:28pm Sunday 14th April 2024

Allegations of break-ins at Aquinas have proven to be true, despite the college stating that “locks are up to date.” Critic Te Ārohi has received evidence of residents accessing specific locked rooms with the use of only a student ID. A series of differing lock mechanisms has meant Read more...

Hide Ya Bong: 10 Ways to Conceal a Bong in Plain Sight

Posted 1:16pm Sunday 14th April 2024

Imagine this: halfway through punching a cone after an incredibly difficult week of BCom-broing and midweek pissups, you hear the front door creak. All your flatmates are home, and no one just fucking drops in. Like a deer in Bic-light, you scramble in fear to find a hiding spot for your still-warm Read more...

Salmond Lashes Out Following Food Review

Posted 9:42pm Friday 5th April 2024

Critic Te Ārohi has once again come to blows with a hall after a full kitchen staff meeting was organised to address the magazine’s now infamous food review. The meeting allegedly saw Critic staff being called out by name and staff shed tears after reading the review in the company of Read more...

Aquinas Has a Bra Thief

Posted 8:58pm Friday 5th April 2024

News of a bra thief on the loose in Aquinas has students in a panic. Sources say that the thief has been on the loose since the beginning of March.  In the space of a few weeks, several pairs of women’s brassiere and underwear have been reportedly stolen, leading residents to suspect Read more...

Do it Your Fucking Self: How to Breatha-fy Your Room

Posted 3:56pm Saturday 23rd March 2024

As a former “dumb fresher fuck”, you’ve just moved into the big wide world. By that, we mean out of a hall, into a beat-as-fuck six-bedroom flat somewhere on Leith, Castle, Dundas or one of the other streets that almost guarantees you are never seeing your bond again. Your room Read more...

Man vs Campus: With Sam Soppet

Posted 5:26pm Sunday 17th March 2024

The challenge: seven days, 0.22 square kilometers, one Critic office couch (now my bed). Is it doable? Probably. Will it suck? Absolutely. With the Critic office as my home base and staying within main campus bounds (between Clyde, Cumberland, Albany, Dundas), I aimed to answer the question that Read more...

Knife-wielding Vampire Robs Flat

Posted 3:07pm Sunday 10th March 2024

On March 1st, someone posted photos to the Castle24 Facebook page of a guy sitting on the ground with a bleeding nose, surrounded by police. The post warned others that he’d been on a thieving spree in the neighbourhood before “the cops took him”.  The burglar — who Read more...

Do it your fucking self: How to Unfuck your Vacuum

Posted 4:52pm Tuesday 5th March 2024

Picture this: you’ve been riding the bender-coaster that is Flo and O-Week, you roll out of your bed on the wrong side of midday, and in a rare sober moment for you (or any student), you realise that your flat is a tip. A bombsite, even. Sure, you rush around and do your laundry, but the Read more...

‘The Dairy’ on Castle Turned Hyoketsu Billboard

Posted 4:47pm Saturday 2nd March 2024

The Dairy, one of Castle Street's most recognisable derelict buildings, has been given a fresh coat of paint after Japanese RTD behemoth Kirin Hyoketsu paid for its temporary use as an advertising billboard. This comes after The Dairy, corner-shop-turned-flat (turned asbestos-filled shit hole), Read more...

Flo-Week Theme Review: 2024

Posted 4:04pm Sunday 25th February 2024

Monday: Back to School (Courtyard)  Flo-Week opened with a strong start at Courtyard, running the tried and true ‘Back to School’ theme. The look book for the night was composed of pleated skirts and unironed white collars, with a fair sprinkling of kit from local high Read more...